Identity Theft

“Hello, is this Errol? This is Sergeant Miller from the Miami Dade County Florida Police department?”

When you were young and innocent, while your parents’ tried to shield you from the realities of life, typically the most pressing issue of the day could have been the decision to stay indoors because you swore that you would never be seen with the clothes that your parents picked out for you or maybe it was another New York Jets playoff loss where “facing the music” from your buddies was something you wanted to avoid at all costs. (I once remained in-doors for three straight weeks after Richard Todd threw three interceptions to A.J. Duhe). As you entered high school, maybe the intricacies of the day included trying to defend or deflect the immature decision of asking Mary Jane to the senior prom after you had already asked Olivia to accompany you to the biggest social event of your teenage life.

Becoming an adult, trying to make it on your own is probably the most daunting task, especially if the career you have chosen requires years and years of higher education. And it does not have to include college or graduate school, no, any desired path could be met with hurdles that are most challenging. Do I live alone or marry my partner? Maybe I will move in with a bunch of my friends but then again, their hygiene habits will have me running for the door. How am I going to afford the rent or mortgage? It costs how much just to commute to my employer on a monthly basis? Why is the price per gallon so high to heat this house? It costs thousands of dollars a year just to watch television and stream. I moved to this small town and have to pay for my own private garbage pickup? You are taxing my car? And my road is the last one to be plowed during a snowstorm?  The list goes on and on, right? Oh, and I forgot, you have to nourish oneself. But there was two things I was not prepared for; one was having my credit cards stolen and the other was to have my identity compromised.

Listen, I wanted to be Diamond Dave in the worst way or become best friends with Tom Seaver, but this was only in line with the long- time adage of imitation is the highest form of flattery. Trying to imagine yourself on the mound in game seven of the World Series, pitching your team to a championship or learning every lyric to each Van Halen song, just in case Dave asks you for help up on stage, is what I dreamed about on a nightly basis. Never did I ever think that someone would want to be me and steal my individuality through the use of pilfering my assigned lifelong digital identifier, otherwise known as a social security number.  I believe the roller coaster ride began on that day in 1998 when my wallet was taken from my suit pocket that was hanging on the cubicle wall inside 26 Broadway and it contained my entire life, including my original social security card, along with my New Jersey driver’s license. The thief hit the jackpot because he was able to withdraw cash at three different Citibank locations from the Bronx to Upper Manhattan before the spicket was finally turned off. The entire story is depicted in my “Uh-Oh” post back on October 4, 2023.

Arriving at La Guardia Airport (LGA) in 2006 after an issuer meeting on the west coast, I was extremely tired and could not wait to get home. Instead of using the corporate card, I decided to utilize my personal Citibank credit card to pay for my long-term parking and figured I would submit the cost once I filled out the required travel & expense. As I handed the card to the attendant, I do not know why but I had this weird feeling that something was going to happen. I have no proof but when I received the monthly statement from Citibank, there were a bunch of charges that totaled somewhere around $5,000. The purchases were made in foreign countries, with deliveries in the U.S. Calling Citibank (or probably any credit card company) proved to be fruitless because all they did was send me a new card, which, of course, I gladly accepted and was not held responsible for the financial damages.

A brief time later, I again arrive back home to LGA after another business trip and one would think that I would use the corporate card to pay for fee for parking in “lot B” but no, I hand the guy the newly issued Citi card thinking there was no way it could happen again. But this time, I logged on to my account the next day and wouldn’t you know it, there is a list of charges as long as my arm. Furious, I called that number that appears on each card to report theft or fraud and asked the representative why the bank would approve expenditures on products that I had never purchased before, after all they had my buying history for the prior decade. The only thing on their mind was to hold me harmless from these expenses and send another replacement. Before accepting this offer, I requested that they either call me or send an “e-mail” if there was activity outside of my usual routine (i.e., “concert tickets”) but the representative stated that there was no way that they could provide this service just for me. That was the last time I ever did business with Citibank.

Around this timeframe, there was this television commercial that I kept seeing whereby this gentleman was bragging that he could put his social security number on the side of an “eighteen wheel” truck and drive it anywhere so any thief could use it, but he was protected by his company, “LifeLock.” So, not only did I sign up for this service, but I figured my family would also benefit, hence I purchased this product, even for my kids, who were barely teenagers. About three months later, the Visa statement depicts two items that I knew was something I would never buy, and it was in a store in Wisconsin. I called LifeLock and inquired why they did not prevent this from happening, but they informed me that I was not responsible. All my other accounts were free of charges, so I chalked it up as a “hiccup,” for lack of a better phrase, assuming their highly believable commercials would be the “best way to prevent identity theft.” The next month, on a new Visa, there is another one-off purchase from a store in Utah.

“Sir, we cannot safeguard you entirely because not every bank provides us with information but please know that LifeLock will cover those expenses.” At that moment, I knew that this entity was an insurance company as opposed to what it was selling to the public, a curator. I immediately dropped LifeLock and added this to the pile of things that was going to keep me up at nights. That is until I talked to my friend and colleague for the past twenty years, Steve. He gave me the greatest advice to help thwart off identity theft and that was to lock my credit score (otherwise known maybe as “FICO” score) with the three major credit bureaus, as well as placing a “fraud alert.” I would say if you can do this all on your computer that would be the best way because talking to these firms, they may try to entice you to their other products. Go to Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion to lock (or “freeze”) your credit score.

Excited to see if this would work, I jumped into my car, while informing my bride that I was just taking a ride to the Danbury Mall to browse but there was a real purpose. I made a bee-line to Kay Jewelers and browsed the ring section for a good fifteen minutes as the salesperson behind the counter was identifying what she thought would be the best gift that I could purchase for my bride, so I went along for the ride. “How much were you thinking to spend?” My retort was to not go beyond “ten grand.” Finally, we come upon this beautiful engagement type of ring for $9,500. As we started walking towards the register to finalize the deal, my heart was pounding because if these “freezes” did not work, I had no idea on how I was going to walk away, especially after occupying her time for the past thirty minutes.

I could see her pressing buttons on the computer/register but obviously I had no idea what she could view, so as I stood there thinking of a way to run out of there, I began to see her frown a bit. She walks to the back and comes out with her boss or co-worker, and they begin to closely monitor the screen. They both head to the back of the store again as I am beginning to become excited because now, I realize there is a chance that they cannot access my credit and with the price of the item being kind of expensive, there would be no way they would let me leave the premises without knowing what kind of risk that I represented. The woman returns to the register and gives it one last “college try” as I was bursting out the seams, almost blowing my own cover but recognized that her salary probably included a sales commission.

“I am very sorry sir, but we cannot access your credit scores from any of the three bureaus, so we cannot make the sale.” As I feinted sadness, she apologized again, while I slowly and dejectedly walked out of the store. Ensuring that I was out of sight, I started to run down the hallway while jumping in the air and punching the air with my right arm. As I ran past people, I started screaming to no one in particular- “It worked!!!” I had never been so happy to receive a rejection notice.

Locking down my credit card information was a relief but there was another shoe to drop as I believe after I squared away my freezing of my FICO score the following year, I went to file our tax returns and to my utter shock, someone posing as me because they had my social security number beat me to the punch. The person filed a single return and walked away with a nice cash refund. Years prior, the IRS had come knocking on our door for a mistake that they had made on our filings and the process to clear our name took nearly two full calendar years, without an apology or admission of guilt on their part. For anyone that has gone through an audit, you know the strain of receiving any kind of mail from this department of Treasury. Now, we had to prove that my identity was compromised and why would they believe that after a decade of submitting “married with children,” that I would file a return based as a single person. Thanks to our accountant team, we were able to navigate through the muddy waters but then the following year, I assume the same person(s) filed income taxes under my name as “married” and received an even bigger refund.

Basically, distraught by this time, I had endured at least five straight years of identity theft and was at my wits end. The IRS began changing the timeline to file tax returns and no longer allowed anyone to complete it before February. In addition, if the amount of money seems extremely large, they wait at least two weeks (I believe) before wiring the funds into a bank account. But I still had an alias out there deceiving the Treasury while making my life miserable. Our accountant team convinced the IRS that we should receive a PIN from them and then we could submit our taxes. During the third year, I was convinced that this person was going to file “married with children” but to my pleasant surprise I received a letter from the IRS and after a few palpitations, I saw my first PIN number. Now whenever I obtain documentation from this department of the Treasury, it is typically this personal identifier number.

During this craziness, while the kids were at school and my wife working downstairs in her office, I typically took the house phone to the room where I worked out of when employed by S&P Global, I saw a call from a “305” area code and assumed it was a telemarketer. The land line kept ringing with the same number, but I waited to see if the person was going to leave a voice mail but to no avail. Then my cell phone begins to ring and outside my family & friends, there were not too many people that knew how to reach me on this phone. It was the same area code and number. Still refusing to pick it up, I waited it out but then about three minutes later, the third line that I had only for work began to ring but since it was an old model, I could not see who was calling. Finally, I pick it up and an agitated voice stated the aforementioned statement.

“Yes, this is Errol, how can I help you?” The Sergeant informs me that he is currently inside an emergency room and that someone who is claiming to be me has given my social security number to the hospital administrators to pay for his medical expenses. “Do you want to come down to Florida and press charges against this individual?” Flabbergasted, I was doing my work and now someone is actually impersonating me at a hospital in a state so far away. The trooper asked if I was still on the line as I had no idea what to do. He supplies me with a website where I can look at this person’s previous history of criminal activity and once, I saw the litany of issues along with a photo, I informed the officer to not allow him to create an account at the hospital, but I was not going to sit in an open courtroom to testify. My final trip was to the social security office in Danbury to inquire on how to protect my identity and was told to check in every once in a while, to see if there is another source of income associated with my identification number. To date, there has been none.

As we are in the process of preparing our tax returns (or you may have completed it already) for some reason identity theft popped into my head and today’s setlist will deal with things associated with theft, stealing, or pretending to be someone else as well as the various emotions that accompany this taxing situation. (Enjoy!)

1— “Pretend” by Nat King Cole— Sammy Davis Jr. and Marvin Gaye paid tribute to Nat by performing their own renditions and both of them are fantastic. You can’t go wrong with any version but just in case you have not heard Mr. Cole’s adaptation on this beautiful classic, I have placed it as the number one song. It is hard for me to fathom how people pretend to be someone else but instead of celebrating them, they steal from them. Folks, I wanted to pass along some advice because my dad’s girlfriend, Terry, just experienced a situation where she mailed a card to her son, and someone intercepted it. Despite the check not being made out to the person who cashed it, they were able to get the money that was intended for a loved one. Terry, being quick on her feet, kept checking and immediately called her bank to report the theft. She was able to thwart off any more damage and despite feeling vulnerable, she displayed a strength that cut the chord right at that point. If you are going to send a family member or friend a card for any occasion, go to your local post office and purchase a money order. This way it can be traced if someone tries to cash in. In addition, you may want to put the card inside a bigger USPS envelope that can be tracked because it may look more “official” and possibly make the thief think twice, as opposed to what we all know looks like a birthday card.

2— “The Great Pretender” by The Platters— I cannot even begin to tell you all how many times I have heard this song before I married at the age of twenty-five, it could be the tune that I have listened to the most in my lifetime, thanks to dad. Now, whenever I hear it, I am reminded of him, my aunt Carol, and mom sitting around the kitchen table serenading anyone that happened to be passing by. It is hard to be a great pretender, why do it? Be true to yourself.  

3— “Fake”—by Shinedown– Part of the definition of pretending is to fake someone out, right? Or faking an identity just to cash in? I know I have used this song for another playlist, but this fits perfectly, and it is one of the many top tunes by this incredible unit by the name of Shinedown. I hope at some point, maybe next year, that the band plays “Us and Them” in its entirety. Next year the album turns twenty. Crank this way up.

4— “Who Are You”—by The Who– The one question that I have been asking myself after this person submitted tax returns in my name was “Who Are You?!” I remember when this album was released in 1979, it was another situation where I did not leave the house because all I did was continuously flip from side one to side two. Sadly, this was the last album with Keith on drums and he is all over this song. And who else but Roger Daltrey to sing this classic? Now I had to close the door on this tune so that mom would not hear the “F” bomb. Entwistle and Townsend are also stellar.

5— “The Pretender”— by Foo Fighters- “Leave you in the dark, you know they all… pretend… leave you in the dark… and so it all began…” Being a victim of identity theft leaves you in the dark and sometimes for prolonged periods of time. It is hard to believe that it has been seventeen years since this song was released and to this day, this remains my all-time favorite Foo Fighter song. I can picture Taylor frantically playing the drums and the video for this tune is my ultimate as well. Would have loved to get splashed by all that stuff. “So, who are you?… Yeah, who are you?”

6— “Who’ll Stop the Rain”— by Creedence Clearwater Revival- For anyone who is or has been a victim of identity theft, they most likely are asking or have asked when will this rain stop or who will end it? I know there were endless days of rain as I tried to get out of that quandary and wondered if it would ever end.

7— “Angry”- by Matchbox Twenty– There is much anger when you are a victim of identity theft and I don’t know why there is so much deceit in this world as I often pray and wonder if all the effort that goes into deception would be put to beneficial use, it would be a better place for all. In this tune, Rob informs us all that he is not angry, and I believe this is a good thing because it most likely is wasted energy.

8— “Angry”– by The Rolling Stones–The Stones are still here, and this was the first single released off of “Hackney Diamonds.” Last week while listening to Howard interviewing Billy Joel, we were all given an insight to how Billy writes songs as well as the Stones. I loved the way Billy described what he was fairly sure was the process where Keith would hum a few riffs while Mick would just maybe add sounds or words and then piece a song together like a puzzle.

9— “Angry Chair”- by Alice In Chains – I know this is “angry” music and just like “sad or solemn” songs there are moments when it fuels the jets, i.e., when I have to tackle the snow and even though I take my “air-guitar” breaks along the way, tunes like this keep the juices flowing. Believe me, it makes it easier to scoop and throw. I know the neighbors probably think I am possessed but if they were hearing what was in my ears, I promise you, they would be performing the same moves. Layne wrote this masterpiece; he is still sorely missed. Jerry is still carrying the flag!

10— “Angry Again”- by Megadeth –Boy, talk about a man maybe filled with anger? Even after decades, when asked about his time with Metallica, Dave still seems to be angry about the entire situation. Could it have been managed in a separate way, maybe so, but both bands have flourished. Let bygones be bygones.  

11— “Sad But True” by Metallica– Yes, I have said it a million times, the “Black” album enticed me to board the Metallica train but remember, I went back through all the earlier stops and headbanged my way into infamy with this brilliant band. I recall James questioning the original brethren by asking “this song is not heavy?!” Unfortunately, identity theft is sad but true and continues to be “easy money” for those who are professional at it. Keep just what you need for the month in your checking account and go to the Post Office for money orders.

12— “Sad Song”- by The Cars– Can you imagine just dropping a new album out of the blue decades after “hanging it up” and the results are just as good as when you were in your prime? That is exactly what happened in 2011 when The Cars, sans Mr. Benjamin Orr, released “Move Like This.” The late Ric Ocasek, in my opinion, was a musical genius who not only created his own but produced countless others. Rest in peace Ric and Ben, the brethren miss you both dearly.  

13— “I’m Going Slightly Mad”- by Queen-This haunting song actually sounds like someone is going mad. When that person filed tax returns in my name the second time as “married” I thought that I was going mad because I had no idea how to stop the madness. I was “one card short of a full deck” as I had no clue on how this was happening, nor how to stop it. I know I use this word a lot, but this tune is “brilliant,” and it is off the amazing “Innuendo” album, which continues to get better with each listen. Like I have stated many times before, Queen is much more than “You’re My Best Friend,” and “Bohemian Rhapsody,” I realize that I may be preaching to the choir with some, but a large part of the public only knows the “popular Queen.” Dig deeper.  

14— “The Reason Why”- by Little Big Town– Nobody knows the motive people do what they do for all the wrong reasons or maybe we do, it is to line their pockets but is that the end all? “Everything is going to be okay… you’re the reason why.” Yes, my bride stood by my side throughout this unmagical carpet ride, while holding my hand to say that we were going to get through this. We eventually did but can never let our guard down because you never know when it will occur again.

15— “Why Can’t We Be Friends”- by War-For all those out there who prey on people, my question to you is “Why Can’t We Be Friends.” How great is this song? I love the opening piano notes played by the only original member left, Leroy “Lonnie” Jordan and the groove is off the charts. “I know your working for the C.I.A…. they wouldn’t have you in the Ma-Fa-Yay.”  

16— “Why Me”- by Styx– Sometimes during that harrowing cycle, I would ask “Why Me?” But I would not stay there too long because it can exasperate and that does not help anyone. If you are able to turn it around and ask, “Why not me?” That just may be the way to go. Folks, I wore this album “Cornerstone” out as the inside sleeves were gone and I had to be careful that the record did not plunge to the floor once I grabbed the album.

17— “Don’t Ask Me Why”- by Billy Joel-I remember when my wallet was stolen, and I actually went to a Citibank branch in lower Manhattan to talk to the fraud personnel and they essentially said “don’t ask me why” we are not pursuing security camera footage to try to identify the culprit. The conversation just centered on the fact that I would not be held responsible. I received the same response when I asked why they would approve purchases in a place that I had never shopped before or in the borough. Then the biggest question I had is why they would give a cash advance when I never had a history of asking for such a thing. Have you checked your cash advance limit? If you are a “good credit” chances are that this amount is at least $5,000. I wanted it at zero dollars, they said no. I had to get a Billy song on the list after the wonderful interview he gave to Howard last week.  

18— “Steal Away (The Night)” by Ozzy Osbourne– Isn’t awesome to see that solo Ozzy finally received a nomination for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Identity thieves steal away, and it just doesn’t have to be in the night. It is absolutely amazing when you listen to Randy Rhoads on guitar, it is flat out astounding. What a talent. Next year “Blizzard” will turn forty-five. How can that be?

19— “Stealin’” by Uriah Heep– This is dedicated to a local friend here in town, Brian, who is a freak of a fan of Uriah and my apologies for “selecting the obvious” but it fit the category for this week. Folks, the 1970’s rock is arguably the greatest time period for pure “hard rock” bands, and this is Exhibit A. Uriah had an influence on Tesla because they covered this great tune and, in my opinion, do a masterful rendition but I will not say it is better than the original. “Stealin’ when I shoo-da-been buying.” Love it!

20— “Help is on the Way” by Sixx A.M.– I think I have utilized this tune on another list, but this is too good to leave off and once I received that personal identification number from the IRS, I knew that there was help on the way. I went with the acoustic version as I believe it accentuates the wonderful voice of James Michael. “Hey everybody needs somebody… wants somebody… hey everybody cracks and bleeds… so hit your knees… and pray that help is on the way…” Hopefully James has caught on with another unit because since John 5 joined the Crue, I do not think there is anything in the near future for a Sixx A.M. reunion. (Spotify does not have the acoustic version, went with the original).

21— “Helpless” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young– This may be the perfect adjective to describe how it feels to be a victim of identity theft. Many times, we want to do it ourselves but sometimes in life you have to trust someone else (i.e., the pilot on your next flight) and once the pieces fell into place- “knock on wood”- I have not had my identity stolen in at least seven years.  

22— “Who Cares?” by Extreme– As you listen to this song, remember it is part of the “III sides” and this is the last song on the album, so if you listen to the prior tunes, you will understand how this fits in because it asks a much bigger question- “Who cares?… Who cares? Tell me who cares?” When will this madness come to an end? When will our divisions become multiplications on how well we can work together? “Am I ever gonna change?… Will I always stay the same?… Say one thing, then I do the other… same old song goes on forever…” This song is beyond incredible, and I pray that we can all come together, so people do not suffer anymore. Godspeed.