Sleeping in Public

“Your friend had the bag, he turned to say goodbye and that he would see you tomorrow.”

Ever since I can remember, the easiest way for me to fall asleep was to sit in front of the television and watch any episode of “The Odd Couple” for the millionth time and as an adult that has turned into “Friends.” Recognizing that this is not the healthiest way to get some shut eye but also relishing the fact that something can relax me to the point where I do not even know that I am sleeping or how fast it occurs. My bride and offspring do not try to wake me up to go to my actual bed because they say that I scare too easily (so true). And there are moments where I wake not knowing where I am, while wondering why my entire family left me on the couch.

Looking back to when I was in grammar and middle school, the structure in our home was similar to that of either being raised on a farm or what I assume could be military life in the sense that it was always “early to bed, early to rise.” I can recall the week that Johnny stayed at our home in Otisville, where the instance that we all saw the ending credits to “Happy Days” or “Good Times,” caused us to rise from the couch while my dad shut off the TV to head off to each room for a nights rest. “What is happening? Do we have to go to bed? It is still light outside?” My brother, Rich, and I would chuckle as we walked away because there was no choice in the matter. As a side note, Johnny blamed my mother for his battle with carbs ever since that visit to our house because it was uncommon during his childhood to be fed three times a day plus having a delicious treat. And just like every other teenager who could not wait to have his own place because they could do anything on their own terms, including staying up beyond “nine o’clock,” but looking back, their wisdom was as usual, correct.

Graduating from hawking the daily newspapers near the “circle” at Grand Army Plaza in Brooklyn, Ron assigned Eddie and I to deliver these daily periodicals to the patients stationed at Mount Sinai hospital, located in East Harlem between 98^th and 103^rd streets on Madison and Fifth Avenues in Manhattan. Now, for those of you outside of New York, this trip from Sunset Park Brooklyn was not a “hop, skip, or a jump” away and being a middle teenager navigating the Subway system during the 1980’s was not only an adventure but being young with a touch of naivety, could make one an easy target for those who let’s say wanted to “make an easy buck.”

Making the trek to upper Manhattan required more than a few maneuvers as Eddie and I walked down to the 45^th street station to catch what was then known as the “RR” to go one stop at 36^th street. Walking across to the “express” side of the track to jump on the “N,” which we took all the way to “34^th Street” in New York and transferred to either the “Q” or “D” line which took us all the way up to the final exit at ninety-sixth street. (Now, the easier way, as well as closer, would have been to switch at 14^th street to take the number “6” train but at that point we were unfamiliar with the original “IRT” lines). This trip took at least ninety minutes each way and when the starting time was “Sixx A.M.” well, let’s just say there was a chance one could end up sleeping in public.

Upon leaving the hospital, I was in my usual “hustle mode,” which was always more than a few steps ahead of Eddie, who was holding my bag. Approaching the large intersection, otherwise known as “Madison Avenue,” I see the “Don’t Walk” sign blinking but the light has not yet turned green for the three-to-four lanes of cars ready to beat each other to wherever they have to go. The last thing I heard was Eddie screaming “Errol, watch out!!” As I came upon the outside lane, there was an old-time truck, think a bakery or maybe a UPS, that included a “grille” that extended from underneath the front tires, which made it look like the vehicle was carrying part of a fence but more likely to absorb the brunt of a crash. At the last possible second, I was able to jump right on to that grille as I lifted my feet upon it as well to avoid being run over by those same tires. (Had it been a bus, it most likely would have been my last day on earth). The driver, who was basically standing, leaned over the side opened door and said, “Are you okay?” I nodded my head and he drove off as Eddie screamed at me to remain there- “we are going to sue that guy.”

Taking our seats on the frigid “D” train, Eddie, still in disbelief, could not stop talking about it as he continued to scold me from the opposite side and eventually, we rested our heads upon the window. Unbeknownst to either one, we both fell asleep on a NY City subway car during the 1980’s, which looking back now was not the smartest thing. My bag was between my legs on the floor and apparently someone sat right next to me (think the letter “L”). At 49^th street, I awoken and notice that my duffle was gone. I look over towards Eddie and he is out like a light. As I get up to look all around, this older gentleman stated the aforementioned. My retort was that my friend is sound asleep. He described my friend as a thin and tall man, who must have made believe that he was tying his shoe-laces or picking something up. And that something was my bag. I decided to head to the beach anyway because my money was inside my sneaker, but I lost my favorite “Lee Mazzilli” T-shirt that day.

Fast forward to my days spent in Ringwood and traveling with my “best bud,” “99” almost every day for more than eight years. The morning commute was always a definite, but the journey back home may or may not have included her company. Despite not speaking with all the familiar faces that boarded the same train day in and day out, I would have anticipated a shake on my shoulder. Anyway, the daily excursions to and from Radburn Fairlawn to make our way to Hoboken was filled with stories that could fill a book. This one summer day, I was running late and needed to race all the way to the World Trade Center in my suit to ensure a seat on the 4:31 p.m. N.J. Transit train leaving Hoboken. Flying up the stairs from the PATH, I barely make it as the steel door slid closed behind me as I took the three steps up and then slid another door open to walk in. The air-conditioning in this car was working extremely well so that one could hang meat as I could not have been any happier to sit while trying to stop sweating. While no one was looking I took my jacket off and laid it above me in the spot designated for your briefcase or what have you. Again, sitting with my head on the window, I love to just watch all the houses and roads pass by as the train pierces the landscape just as easily as a heated knife slices through butter, while I am trying to cool off. I believe I fell asleep at Garfield which was a huge mistake because Radburn was only three stops away.

And sure enough, my eyes start to open as I begin to get my bearings as I suddenly realize the familiar scenery was where I was supposed to make my exit. I quickly stand up, grab my suit jacket, and run towards the door while speaking loudly for the train to stop. The NJ transit worker informs me that I will just have to get off at Glen Rock. This town could be the only one that has two different lines running through it, so I walked towards the Main line assuming there would be “straight roads” back to Fairlawn. What happens when you assume? After trekking through the local streets, I came upon a cul-de-sac and realized that I was never going to figure out how to navigate through these towns to arrive back at the parking lot at Radburn.

Making my way back to the Bergen County line for Glen Rock, I look around and see no one outside on this humid Friday afternoon, so I decided to jump off the platform to walk back to Fairlawn on the train tracks. Totally acknowledging that if I am caught hiking on these grounds could lead to a federal or at the least, state trespassing charge, my nervousness affords me accelerating speeds as my shoes are being cut by the thousands of stones mixed in between the wooden tracks. It was like being on a fishing boat while losing sight of land as I could not see the Radburn station for what seemed like miles of a hallowed path. But then at times, I was suddenly in someone’s backyard as furious German shepherd’s chased me until either an invisible fence or common sense told them to stop. Booming voices from other houses screaming at me to not be on the tracks only exemplified the fear as even I was amazed that I could kick it into another gear. Finally, from a distance I could see the house where we would buy coffee or train tickets come into view as I recognized that the nightmare would soon come to an end. I ran even harder as I slid on to the blacktop which housed all the parked cars and again removed my jacket. By this point, it literally looked like I had just taken a shower in my clothes. As I closed the door to my car, trying to catch my breath and cool off at the same time, I looked down at my shoes and saw my right big toe sticking through the large hole created by the tracks, as well as the millions of rocks. All of this was caused by my sleeping in public.

After leaving Ringwood, I ventured into the world of MBIA, and this sleeping tale may stretch the limits a bit because I was not in public view but involved with various participants. It was late in the afternoon while working on a transaction and the conference call broke for dinner with the return scheduled for sixty minutes later. Since it was already past the five o’clock whistle, I decided to leave the lovely confines of King Street knowing that I could easily arrive home with time to spare before dialing back in. I stopped off at Bruno’s to purchase my “go-to” sandwich of “Peppers & Eggs.”

Dialing in with my home phone, while praying no one would call our land line, I am basically in “listen mode” as the primary, the late Sandy, was leading the call with extreme precision. After quietly “wolfing down” my dinner, I moved from the kitchen table to the couch around 8:00 p.m. as the call, which was already two hours long, appeared to have no ending in the near future. Sitting on the sofa made me comfortable and the next thing I recall was that I woke up in the pitch dark. Again, emerging from the cobwebs, I see that the television box states that the time is 10:55 p.m.

As I stand up to turn the light on, I see the phone in the middle of the living room floor and when I reach out to pick it up, I can hear voices. Putting the phone to my left ear, I realize that the meeting is still going on but there is no way I can hang up because all the attendants would hear that click. Of course, the phone slips and almost drops to the floor as I catch it before it hits the ground. At that moment, all the parties become quiet as Sandy asks who is there. I state that it was me. “Did something happen to your phone? We asked you a question earlier but did not hear your response.” I asked them to repeat it and gave my answer, along with a side order of denial while feinting that I had no idea what he was talking about. That was the first and only time that ever occurred. Sleeping in public is most likely never a good thing and could lead to difficulties or trouble.

In honor of “National Public Sleeping Day” today, this setlist will contain songs that deal with sleeping (trying to avoid those used in last year’s post of “Can’t Sleep”) or wanting someone to wake you, as well as tunes that I feel are appropriate. (Enjoy!)

1— “Don’t Sleep in the Subway” by Petula Clark— Could there have been a better song to start this list? If only I had taken Petula’s advice but believe it or not it was not the only time I slept on the subway. There was a stretch of work days where I was running on fumes and the number 4 train was packed (as usual) and I grabbed the iron pole above the seated passengers. I woke up just in time at Grand Central as the people sitting were amazed as one woman said, “I would have not believed it if I did not see it with my own eyes, you were asleep on your right arm and never moved.” I would not advise falling asleep in public on a train because you never know what might happen.

2— “Shut Down” by Beach Boys— Okay I know this a huge stretch but stay with me, sometimes I would say that I “pass out” or “shut down.” No? Oh well, I believe it passes the test. I know my dad says the Beach Boys ruined rock and roll but I love their vocal harmonies and they had some of the biggest songs in the history of music. I feel sad for Brian Wilson and my prayers are with him, as well as his wife and family. The man is a musical genius.

3— “I Love the Nightlife” by Alicia Bridges— Sometimes the nightlife can result in an unexpected public display of sleeping because there are instances when only getting two-to-three hours of shuteye the night before is worse than remaining up the entire evening/morning and a next day trip to the mall just may result in you passing out on a bench, but hopefully there is no Homer Simpson moment of drooling. How great is this song? Back in the day I had to make believe I did not like it because I was the “rock guy” but this is beyond addictive. My oldest visited us from Oregon and we spent time together Friday night at the Blue Note. The 10:30 p.m. show was delayed, and the doors did not open until 11:15 p.m. The establishment had to make their money so ordering of food and drinks added another thirty minutes. Of course, I had to visit the restroom and when I returned my son was waiting. “Let’s head back home.” I did not even realize that it was “one-thirty” in the morning. We arrived home at three and I was in Starbucks on Saturday morning to meet the usual crowd for coffee at “six thirty,” feeling like a truck had run me over… but I did not have a display of sleeping in public.

4— “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham— The title of the song is what I should have informed all the people on N.J. Transit that summer afternoon, but I assumed they would have since they saw me every day for years. I know had “99” been on that trip home, she would have woken me up. This past week, our community group spoke about our favorite George Michael songs and one member stated that they did not know any of his catalog. What??!!

5— “Stay Up Late” by Talking Heads— I forgot how much I love this song and when we stay up late, it sometimes can lead to a public display of sleeping. There was this infamous time when Cheesy had a few too many and it was really late, with much of the public indoors sleeping. Placing him at the top step of his house in a lying position on his back, we rang his doorbell and hid behind the parked cars to ensure either his mother or father answered. It was his father, who I will always remember as a “yeller,” and his screams barely moved his son, but it was just enough to get him into private quarters.

6— “Late in the Evening”—by Paul Simon– This brilliant tune is beyond infectious, and the musicianship is incredible. Doesn’t it make you want to join the “conga line?” although, at this stage of the game I may not be able to bend that low and if I did, I probably could not get back up. If not obvious, the “late” reference is the key to its inclusion.

7— “Late Night Talking”—by Harry Styles– “Harry’s House” is an album that should be included in your library because there is not one bad song. It is amazing how his career has skyrocketed and deservedly so. My bride and offspring know that sometimes late-night talking does not work for me because at a moments notice, I could fall asleep right in mid-sentence. Do you know how many times I have fallen asleep late at night while speaking to family members? It counts as public sleeping. LOL.    

8— “No Sleep Till Brooklyn”- by Beastie Boys– Arguably the greatest Brooklyn song in the history of music, no? I remember being the singer while playing some form of “Guitar Hero” while my youngest was on drums and oldest on guitar. They always met the colors with exact precision and sometimes my singing was so bad the song would crash because I screwed things up. If you live in Brooklyn, or was reared there, you know this song extremely well. Thank you, “Ad-Rock,” “MCA,” and “Mike-D” for keeping Brooklyn on the map!

9— “Wake Up Call”– by Maroon 5 (Mark Ronson Remix feat. Mary J. Blige)–Sometimes a wake-up call is needed as we all have seen that person asleep in the park or lawn chair. I usually love the way Mr. Ronson puts his spin on great songs and dare I say, this rendition is better than the original, especially with the brilliant move of adding Mary J to the mix. Mark is the step-son of Mick Jones, the founder of Foreigner, and he has called on his music buddies to make the case for ensuring that Foreigner earns its way into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame after finally receiving its first nomination a few weeks ago. You all know how I feel. Long overdue.

10— “Wake Up Alone”- by Amy Winehouse – Most times one does wake up alone, even though you fell asleep in public because if no one wakes you up, then you wake up alone. Trying to shake the cobwebs can be amusing to those who can see you. Each time I hear Amy’s voice now, I shake my head in sadness because her voice is mesmerizing, and it is too sad that she is no longer with us. Listen to her vocal prowess on this song. Staggering.    

11— “Blackout”- by Scorpions –Sometimes when you are extremely tired, you could fall asleep at a moments notice or experience a blackout. Case in point, last year while walking nearly 30,000 steps around Vegas waiting for my “red-eye” flight back to New York, I was beyond tired, and I do not even remember if I moved for my neighbors as I had the aisle seat. Next thing I felt was the plane landing at LaGuardia at six in the morning that Monday, a total blackout for me, first time I ever slept the entire flight.  

12— “Goodnight (Live)” by Cheap Trick– Another stretch of the imagination but what do we say most times we fall asleep- “Goodnight.” Now, if you fall asleep in public, there may be others that will say Goodnight. Cheap Trick is still going strong, and it is a testament to the love of their craft. Robin can still sing, and this is one of my favorites off of one of the finest live albums ever, “Live at Budokan.”

13— “5 O’clock in the Morning”- by The Donnas-If we do get home at “5 O’clock in the Morning” chances are good that you will fall asleep in public, especially if the next afternoon you make a trip to the movies or the mall. This band was active from 1993-2012 and I love their sound as the head-banging always seemed to be in full gear. I read somewhere that the drummer had to have shoulder surgery (I can hear that) and the band broke up shortly thereafter. Apparently, they have turned away offers for a reunion. Crank this one way up!

14— “King of the Night Time World (Live)”- by KISS-In my mind if you are one who enjoys being the King (or Queen) of the Night Time World, chances are you have slept in public before and that is how this track makes the list in my mind. Any chance I have to put KISS into the mix, I will take it. Eddie Trunk is still at it with his Sirius channel by having Peter on a few weeks ago and the majority of the conversation (and calls from the Gene and Paul haters) centered around how badly he was treated. It amazes me that many in our society have no self-awareness and it is never their fault. Then on the other side, Ace still spouting off that he has put out more albums than KISS in the last decade. I wonder if he realizes those guys are done.  

15— “The Sleep”- by Pantera– I had to get a song in by this legendary band because I went last week to see them at Madison Square Garden, and I totally recognize that it is not the same unit without Vinnie Paul and Dimebag. Zakk Wylde and Charlie Benante have joined forces with Rex Brown (unbelievable bass guitarist) and the imposing Phil Anselmo to pay homage to the brothers as well as introduce this supreme metal act to another generation. In addition, I was able to see them after totally missing the boat when they were in their heyday. I survived the opener, Lamb of God, but thrived when Pantera took the stage. Seeing them indoors this time around (they will open for Metallica again later this year) was nothing less than spectacular. I was supremely impressed with Phil’s ability to still be able to sing these incredibly diverse songs. Charlie played the drums and I felt like Vinnie was sitting there above him smiling down. Witnessing Zakk for the second time, I was absolutely blown away by his superior skills as a guitarist. I could tell the brethren appreciated his acumen and it was one big love affair. One of the best concerts I have ever attended.  

16— “Sleeping on the Sidewalk”- by Queen– Another perfect song for this topic and I will not name any names, but I know more than a few folks who ended up sleeping on the sidewalk after a night of possibly having a few too many. Growing up in Sunset Park, it would not be uncommon for someone to fall asleep on the stoop or in a lawn chair in front of the stoop but if you were out like a light on a sidewalk, chances are alcohol, or some other non-mentionable, were involved.

17— “Dreaming” by Blondie– I remember when this song first hit the radio airwaves, it was exciting, energetic, and super infectious. It has been a while since I have heard it but came across it in my I-pod and it make sense for this to be on this list as we are typically dreaming, whether we are sleeping in public or not.

18— “I Can Dream About You” by Dan Hartman– For those of age, they know that this song was the standout for the movie- “Streets of Fire” and Dan originally asked Hall & Oates to sing the song but was turned away. Lucky for Dan because this is a major hit.  Unfortunately, Mr. Hartman passed away from a brain tumor at the youthful age of forty-three back in 1994. He wrote some huge tunes, including “Free Ride,” (Edgar Winter), “Instant Replay” (Huge “Brooklyn” disco song) and co-wrote “Living in America.” (James Brown)

19— “Hello It’s Late” by Stone Temple Pilots – This is one of my favorite songs by STP and I will continue to state that I love the “Shangri-La Dee Da” album, as it contains some of the best songs that the late Scott Weiland has ever recorded with his vocal prowess. To those who think that this unit was a “Pearl Jam Wanna-Bee”- think again, they went down their own path and deserves a nomination to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  

20— “It’s Too Late by Carole King– What a career by the legendary Carole King, it is astounding to think of how many hit songs that she participated in crafting for herself as well as other artists. Imagine creating the “Tapestry” album? What an amazing legacy.   

21— “Daysleeper” by R.E.M.– This is absolutely one of my all-time favorite songs by R.E.M. I believe this is pure magic and I can listen to this tune all day long. If you are sleeping in public, you will most likely be seen in the day, no? I can’t say enough about this beautiful track. Thanks to the members of R.E.M. for creating this unbelievable song.

22— “I’ve Dreamed of You” by Barbara Streisand– I believe I have utilized this astounding song in a past post, but I could not leave it off and had to put it last because I felt that nothing could follow this tune. This will always be dedicated to my bride as it is something that I wish I could have written. After a wonderful week with our oldest coming back home for a visit, I watched my wife hug her son with tears in her eyes as he was going back to his home in Oregon, and I had to turn away before I broke down. We had our first experience with our child coming to visit us after leaving the nest and physically seeing him was wonderful. He left last night and I know I will be dreaming of when we will see him again, but maybe not in public. LOL. Enjoy National Public Sleeping Day! (I have to admit that I would have thought this day would occur in the summertime).

Identity Theft

“Hello, is this Errol? This is Sergeant Miller from the Miami Dade County Florida Police department?”

When you were young and innocent, while your parents’ tried to shield you from the realities of life, typically the most pressing issue of the day could have been the decision to stay indoors because you swore that you would never be seen with the clothes that your parents picked out for you or maybe it was another New York Jets playoff loss where “facing the music” from your buddies was something you wanted to avoid at all costs. (I once remained in-doors for three straight weeks after Richard Todd threw three interceptions to A.J. Duhe). As you entered high school, maybe the intricacies of the day included trying to defend or deflect the immature decision of asking Mary Jane to the senior prom after you had already asked Olivia to accompany you to the biggest social event of your teenage life.

Becoming an adult, trying to make it on your own is probably the most daunting task, especially if the career you have chosen requires years and years of higher education. And it does not have to include college or graduate school, no, any desired path could be met with hurdles that are most challenging. Do I live alone or marry my partner? Maybe I will move in with a bunch of my friends but then again, their hygiene habits will have me running for the door. How am I going to afford the rent or mortgage? It costs how much just to commute to my employer on a monthly basis? Why is the price per gallon so high to heat this house? It costs thousands of dollars a year just to watch television and stream. I moved to this small town and have to pay for my own private garbage pickup? You are taxing my car? And my road is the last one to be plowed during a snowstorm?  The list goes on and on, right? Oh, and I forgot, you have to nourish oneself. But there was two things I was not prepared for; one was having my credit cards stolen and the other was to have my identity compromised.

Listen, I wanted to be Diamond Dave in the worst way or become best friends with Tom Seaver, but this was only in line with the long- time adage of imitation is the highest form of flattery. Trying to imagine yourself on the mound in game seven of the World Series, pitching your team to a championship or learning every lyric to each Van Halen song, just in case Dave asks you for help up on stage, is what I dreamed about on a nightly basis. Never did I ever think that someone would want to be me and steal my individuality through the use of pilfering my assigned lifelong digital identifier, otherwise known as a social security number.  I believe the roller coaster ride began on that day in 1998 when my wallet was taken from my suit pocket that was hanging on the cubicle wall inside 26 Broadway and it contained my entire life, including my original social security card, along with my New Jersey driver’s license. The thief hit the jackpot because he was able to withdraw cash at three different Citibank locations from the Bronx to Upper Manhattan before the spicket was finally turned off. The entire story is depicted in my “Uh-Oh” post back on October 4, 2023.

Arriving at La Guardia Airport (LGA) in 2006 after an issuer meeting on the west coast, I was extremely tired and could not wait to get home. Instead of using the corporate card, I decided to utilize my personal Citibank credit card to pay for my long-term parking and figured I would submit the cost once I filled out the required travel & expense. As I handed the card to the attendant, I do not know why but I had this weird feeling that something was going to happen. I have no proof but when I received the monthly statement from Citibank, there were a bunch of charges that totaled somewhere around $5,000. The purchases were made in foreign countries, with deliveries in the U.S. Calling Citibank (or probably any credit card company) proved to be fruitless because all they did was send me a new card, which, of course, I gladly accepted and was not held responsible for the financial damages.

A brief time later, I again arrive back home to LGA after another business trip and one would think that I would use the corporate card to pay for fee for parking in “lot B” but no, I hand the guy the newly issued Citi card thinking there was no way it could happen again. But this time, I logged on to my account the next day and wouldn’t you know it, there is a list of charges as long as my arm. Furious, I called that number that appears on each card to report theft or fraud and asked the representative why the bank would approve expenditures on products that I had never purchased before, after all they had my buying history for the prior decade. The only thing on their mind was to hold me harmless from these expenses and send another replacement. Before accepting this offer, I requested that they either call me or send an “e-mail” if there was activity outside of my usual routine (i.e., “concert tickets”) but the representative stated that there was no way that they could provide this service just for me. That was the last time I ever did business with Citibank.

Around this timeframe, there was this television commercial that I kept seeing whereby this gentleman was bragging that he could put his social security number on the side of an “eighteen wheel” truck and drive it anywhere so any thief could use it, but he was protected by his company, “LifeLock.” So, not only did I sign up for this service, but I figured my family would also benefit, hence I purchased this product, even for my kids, who were barely teenagers. About three months later, the Visa statement depicts two items that I knew was something I would never buy, and it was in a store in Wisconsin. I called LifeLock and inquired why they did not prevent this from happening, but they informed me that I was not responsible. All my other accounts were free of charges, so I chalked it up as a “hiccup,” for lack of a better phrase, assuming their highly believable commercials would be the “best way to prevent identity theft.” The next month, on a new Visa, there is another one-off purchase from a store in Utah.

“Sir, we cannot safeguard you entirely because not every bank provides us with information but please know that LifeLock will cover those expenses.” At that moment, I knew that this entity was an insurance company as opposed to what it was selling to the public, a curator. I immediately dropped LifeLock and added this to the pile of things that was going to keep me up at nights. That is until I talked to my friend and colleague for the past twenty years, Steve. He gave me the greatest advice to help thwart off identity theft and that was to lock my credit score (otherwise known maybe as “FICO” score) with the three major credit bureaus, as well as placing a “fraud alert.” I would say if you can do this all on your computer that would be the best way because talking to these firms, they may try to entice you to their other products. Go to Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion to lock (or “freeze”) your credit score.

Excited to see if this would work, I jumped into my car, while informing my bride that I was just taking a ride to the Danbury Mall to browse but there was a real purpose. I made a bee-line to Kay Jewelers and browsed the ring section for a good fifteen minutes as the salesperson behind the counter was identifying what she thought would be the best gift that I could purchase for my bride, so I went along for the ride. “How much were you thinking to spend?” My retort was to not go beyond “ten grand.” Finally, we come upon this beautiful engagement type of ring for $9,500. As we started walking towards the register to finalize the deal, my heart was pounding because if these “freezes” did not work, I had no idea on how I was going to walk away, especially after occupying her time for the past thirty minutes.

I could see her pressing buttons on the computer/register but obviously I had no idea what she could view, so as I stood there thinking of a way to run out of there, I began to see her frown a bit. She walks to the back and comes out with her boss or co-worker, and they begin to closely monitor the screen. They both head to the back of the store again as I am beginning to become excited because now, I realize there is a chance that they cannot access my credit and with the price of the item being kind of expensive, there would be no way they would let me leave the premises without knowing what kind of risk that I represented. The woman returns to the register and gives it one last “college try” as I was bursting out the seams, almost blowing my own cover but recognized that her salary probably included a sales commission.

“I am very sorry sir, but we cannot access your credit scores from any of the three bureaus, so we cannot make the sale.” As I feinted sadness, she apologized again, while I slowly and dejectedly walked out of the store. Ensuring that I was out of sight, I started to run down the hallway while jumping in the air and punching the air with my right arm. As I ran past people, I started screaming to no one in particular- “It worked!!!” I had never been so happy to receive a rejection notice.

Locking down my credit card information was a relief but there was another shoe to drop as I believe after I squared away my freezing of my FICO score the following year, I went to file our tax returns and to my utter shock, someone posing as me because they had my social security number beat me to the punch. The person filed a single return and walked away with a nice cash refund. Years prior, the IRS had come knocking on our door for a mistake that they had made on our filings and the process to clear our name took nearly two full calendar years, without an apology or admission of guilt on their part. For anyone that has gone through an audit, you know the strain of receiving any kind of mail from this department of Treasury. Now, we had to prove that my identity was compromised and why would they believe that after a decade of submitting “married with children,” that I would file a return based as a single person. Thanks to our accountant team, we were able to navigate through the muddy waters but then the following year, I assume the same person(s) filed income taxes under my name as “married” and received an even bigger refund.

Basically, distraught by this time, I had endured at least five straight years of identity theft and was at my wits end. The IRS began changing the timeline to file tax returns and no longer allowed anyone to complete it before February. In addition, if the amount of money seems extremely large, they wait at least two weeks (I believe) before wiring the funds into a bank account. But I still had an alias out there deceiving the Treasury while making my life miserable. Our accountant team convinced the IRS that we should receive a PIN from them and then we could submit our taxes. During the third year, I was convinced that this person was going to file “married with children” but to my pleasant surprise I received a letter from the IRS and after a few palpitations, I saw my first PIN number. Now whenever I obtain documentation from this department of the Treasury, it is typically this personal identifier number.

During this craziness, while the kids were at school and my wife working downstairs in her office, I typically took the house phone to the room where I worked out of when employed by S&P Global, I saw a call from a “305” area code and assumed it was a telemarketer. The land line kept ringing with the same number, but I waited to see if the person was going to leave a voice mail but to no avail. Then my cell phone begins to ring and outside my family & friends, there were not too many people that knew how to reach me on this phone. It was the same area code and number. Still refusing to pick it up, I waited it out but then about three minutes later, the third line that I had only for work began to ring but since it was an old model, I could not see who was calling. Finally, I pick it up and an agitated voice stated the aforementioned statement.

“Yes, this is Errol, how can I help you?” The Sergeant informs me that he is currently inside an emergency room and that someone who is claiming to be me has given my social security number to the hospital administrators to pay for his medical expenses. “Do you want to come down to Florida and press charges against this individual?” Flabbergasted, I was doing my work and now someone is actually impersonating me at a hospital in a state so far away. The trooper asked if I was still on the line as I had no idea what to do. He supplies me with a website where I can look at this person’s previous history of criminal activity and once, I saw the litany of issues along with a photo, I informed the officer to not allow him to create an account at the hospital, but I was not going to sit in an open courtroom to testify. My final trip was to the social security office in Danbury to inquire on how to protect my identity and was told to check in every once in a while, to see if there is another source of income associated with my identification number. To date, there has been none.

As we are in the process of preparing our tax returns (or you may have completed it already) for some reason identity theft popped into my head and today’s setlist will deal with things associated with theft, stealing, or pretending to be someone else as well as the various emotions that accompany this taxing situation. (Enjoy!)

1— “Pretend” by Nat King Cole— Sammy Davis Jr. and Marvin Gaye paid tribute to Nat by performing their own renditions and both of them are fantastic. You can’t go wrong with any version but just in case you have not heard Mr. Cole’s adaptation on this beautiful classic, I have placed it as the number one song. It is hard for me to fathom how people pretend to be someone else but instead of celebrating them, they steal from them. Folks, I wanted to pass along some advice because my dad’s girlfriend, Terry, just experienced a situation where she mailed a card to her son, and someone intercepted it. Despite the check not being made out to the person who cashed it, they were able to get the money that was intended for a loved one. Terry, being quick on her feet, kept checking and immediately called her bank to report the theft. She was able to thwart off any more damage and despite feeling vulnerable, she displayed a strength that cut the chord right at that point. If you are going to send a family member or friend a card for any occasion, go to your local post office and purchase a money order. This way it can be traced if someone tries to cash in. In addition, you may want to put the card inside a bigger USPS envelope that can be tracked because it may look more “official” and possibly make the thief think twice, as opposed to what we all know looks like a birthday card.

2— “The Great Pretender” by The Platters— I cannot even begin to tell you all how many times I have heard this song before I married at the age of twenty-five, it could be the tune that I have listened to the most in my lifetime, thanks to dad. Now, whenever I hear it, I am reminded of him, my aunt Carol, and mom sitting around the kitchen table serenading anyone that happened to be passing by. It is hard to be a great pretender, why do it? Be true to yourself.  

3— “Fake”—by Shinedown– Part of the definition of pretending is to fake someone out, right? Or faking an identity just to cash in? I know I have used this song for another playlist, but this fits perfectly, and it is one of the many top tunes by this incredible unit by the name of Shinedown. I hope at some point, maybe next year, that the band plays “Us and Them” in its entirety. Next year the album turns twenty. Crank this way up.

4— “Who Are You”—by The Who– The one question that I have been asking myself after this person submitted tax returns in my name was “Who Are You?!” I remember when this album was released in 1979, it was another situation where I did not leave the house because all I did was continuously flip from side one to side two. Sadly, this was the last album with Keith on drums and he is all over this song. And who else but Roger Daltrey to sing this classic? Now I had to close the door on this tune so that mom would not hear the “F” bomb. Entwistle and Townsend are also stellar.

5— “The Pretender”— by Foo Fighters- “Leave you in the dark, you know they all… pretend… leave you in the dark… and so it all began…” Being a victim of identity theft leaves you in the dark and sometimes for prolonged periods of time. It is hard to believe that it has been seventeen years since this song was released and to this day, this remains my all-time favorite Foo Fighter song. I can picture Taylor frantically playing the drums and the video for this tune is my ultimate as well. Would have loved to get splashed by all that stuff. “So, who are you?… Yeah, who are you?”

6— “Who’ll Stop the Rain”— by Creedence Clearwater Revival- For anyone who is or has been a victim of identity theft, they most likely are asking or have asked when will this rain stop or who will end it? I know there were endless days of rain as I tried to get out of that quandary and wondered if it would ever end.

7— “Angry”- by Matchbox Twenty– There is much anger when you are a victim of identity theft and I don’t know why there is so much deceit in this world as I often pray and wonder if all the effort that goes into deception would be put to beneficial use, it would be a better place for all. In this tune, Rob informs us all that he is not angry, and I believe this is a good thing because it most likely is wasted energy.

8— “Angry”– by The Rolling Stones–The Stones are still here, and this was the first single released off of “Hackney Diamonds.” Last week while listening to Howard interviewing Billy Joel, we were all given an insight to how Billy writes songs as well as the Stones. I loved the way Billy described what he was fairly sure was the process where Keith would hum a few riffs while Mick would just maybe add sounds or words and then piece a song together like a puzzle.

9— “Angry Chair”- by Alice In Chains – I know this is “angry” music and just like “sad or solemn” songs there are moments when it fuels the jets, i.e., when I have to tackle the snow and even though I take my “air-guitar” breaks along the way, tunes like this keep the juices flowing. Believe me, it makes it easier to scoop and throw. I know the neighbors probably think I am possessed but if they were hearing what was in my ears, I promise you, they would be performing the same moves. Layne wrote this masterpiece; he is still sorely missed. Jerry is still carrying the flag!

10— “Angry Again”- by Megadeth –Boy, talk about a man maybe filled with anger? Even after decades, when asked about his time with Metallica, Dave still seems to be angry about the entire situation. Could it have been managed in a separate way, maybe so, but both bands have flourished. Let bygones be bygones.  

11— “Sad But True” by Metallica– Yes, I have said it a million times, the “Black” album enticed me to board the Metallica train but remember, I went back through all the earlier stops and headbanged my way into infamy with this brilliant band. I recall James questioning the original brethren by asking “this song is not heavy?!” Unfortunately, identity theft is sad but true and continues to be “easy money” for those who are professional at it. Keep just what you need for the month in your checking account and go to the Post Office for money orders.

12— “Sad Song”- by The Cars– Can you imagine just dropping a new album out of the blue decades after “hanging it up” and the results are just as good as when you were in your prime? That is exactly what happened in 2011 when The Cars, sans Mr. Benjamin Orr, released “Move Like This.” The late Ric Ocasek, in my opinion, was a musical genius who not only created his own but produced countless others. Rest in peace Ric and Ben, the brethren miss you both dearly.  

13— “I’m Going Slightly Mad”- by Queen-This haunting song actually sounds like someone is going mad. When that person filed tax returns in my name the second time as “married” I thought that I was going mad because I had no idea how to stop the madness. I was “one card short of a full deck” as I had no clue on how this was happening, nor how to stop it. I know I use this word a lot, but this tune is “brilliant,” and it is off the amazing “Innuendo” album, which continues to get better with each listen. Like I have stated many times before, Queen is much more than “You’re My Best Friend,” and “Bohemian Rhapsody,” I realize that I may be preaching to the choir with some, but a large part of the public only knows the “popular Queen.” Dig deeper.  

14— “The Reason Why”- by Little Big Town– Nobody knows the motive people do what they do for all the wrong reasons or maybe we do, it is to line their pockets but is that the end all? “Everything is going to be okay… you’re the reason why.” Yes, my bride stood by my side throughout this unmagical carpet ride, while holding my hand to say that we were going to get through this. We eventually did but can never let our guard down because you never know when it will occur again.

15— “Why Can’t We Be Friends”- by War-For all those out there who prey on people, my question to you is “Why Can’t We Be Friends.” How great is this song? I love the opening piano notes played by the only original member left, Leroy “Lonnie” Jordan and the groove is off the charts. “I know your working for the C.I.A…. they wouldn’t have you in the Ma-Fa-Yay.”  

16— “Why Me”- by Styx– Sometimes during that harrowing cycle, I would ask “Why Me?” But I would not stay there too long because it can exasperate and that does not help anyone. If you are able to turn it around and ask, “Why not me?” That just may be the way to go. Folks, I wore this album “Cornerstone” out as the inside sleeves were gone and I had to be careful that the record did not plunge to the floor once I grabbed the album.

17— “Don’t Ask Me Why”- by Billy Joel-I remember when my wallet was stolen, and I actually went to a Citibank branch in lower Manhattan to talk to the fraud personnel and they essentially said “don’t ask me why” we are not pursuing security camera footage to try to identify the culprit. The conversation just centered on the fact that I would not be held responsible. I received the same response when I asked why they would approve purchases in a place that I had never shopped before or in the borough. Then the biggest question I had is why they would give a cash advance when I never had a history of asking for such a thing. Have you checked your cash advance limit? If you are a “good credit” chances are that this amount is at least $5,000. I wanted it at zero dollars, they said no. I had to get a Billy song on the list after the wonderful interview he gave to Howard last week.  

18— “Steal Away (The Night)” by Ozzy Osbourne– Isn’t awesome to see that solo Ozzy finally received a nomination for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Identity thieves steal away, and it just doesn’t have to be in the night. It is absolutely amazing when you listen to Randy Rhoads on guitar, it is flat out astounding. What a talent. Next year “Blizzard” will turn forty-five. How can that be?

19— “Stealin’” by Uriah Heep– This is dedicated to a local friend here in town, Brian, who is a freak of a fan of Uriah and my apologies for “selecting the obvious” but it fit the category for this week. Folks, the 1970’s rock is arguably the greatest time period for pure “hard rock” bands, and this is Exhibit A. Uriah had an influence on Tesla because they covered this great tune and, in my opinion, do a masterful rendition but I will not say it is better than the original. “Stealin’ when I shoo-da-been buying.” Love it!

20— “Help is on the Way” by Sixx A.M.– I think I have utilized this tune on another list, but this is too good to leave off and once I received that personal identification number from the IRS, I knew that there was help on the way. I went with the acoustic version as I believe it accentuates the wonderful voice of James Michael. “Hey everybody needs somebody… wants somebody… hey everybody cracks and bleeds… so hit your knees… and pray that help is on the way…” Hopefully James has caught on with another unit because since John 5 joined the Crue, I do not think there is anything in the near future for a Sixx A.M. reunion. (Spotify does not have the acoustic version, went with the original).

21— “Helpless” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young– This may be the perfect adjective to describe how it feels to be a victim of identity theft. Many times, we want to do it ourselves but sometimes in life you have to trust someone else (i.e., the pilot on your next flight) and once the pieces fell into place- “knock on wood”- I have not had my identity stolen in at least seven years.  

22— “Who Cares?” by Extreme– As you listen to this song, remember it is part of the “III sides” and this is the last song on the album, so if you listen to the prior tunes, you will understand how this fits in because it asks a much bigger question- “Who cares?… Who cares? Tell me who cares?” When will this madness come to an end? When will our divisions become multiplications on how well we can work together? “Am I ever gonna change?… Will I always stay the same?… Say one thing, then I do the other… same old song goes on forever…” This song is beyond incredible, and I pray that we can all come together, so people do not suffer anymore. Godspeed.

My Valentines

Approaching our thirty-third year together as a married couple, with three additional of courtship, gives me a chance to celebrate the love I have for her with seemingly “back-to-back” sacred days that remind me of the most beautiful moments that I have ever experienced. Waking up on that Sunday morning in 1991 to discover snow covered streets was a bit unsettling but with all the activity in the five boroughs of New York, I knew there would be “black top” almost immediately, as long as the precipitation was ending, which it did once we left Staten Island in the wee hours of the morning to drive to the GJOA club in Brooklyn.

Before that miraculous three-day adventure where we closed on our first home on Friday, moved in on Saturday, married on Sunday, and afterwards we drove to our house in Ringwood to spend our honeymoon for the week, exploring our new landscape, there was Valentine’s Day. And the only person that my bride would allow me to have another Valentine was my mother. That day was the last time when I would not be living under the same roof with a person that I adored with all my heart as there was a connection between the two of us that never needed words, all it took was to look into each other’s eyes. Mom was okay sharing Valentine’s Day with my bride, especially after a few years as their bond tightened to the point where all they had to do was look into each other’s eyes to determine if something was bothering either one. I would get the glance from each and knew it was time to excuse myself from the kitchen table to join dad, who was watching the game on television.

Once Mary showcased our future home to us in December 1990 is where I believe it “became real” for my mother as she recognized that I was actually going to leave the nest and there was no way for her to slow down or stop time. I bet she was hoping for my bride’s church to pump the brakes a bit but once the ask of at least twelve months of preparation was put forward, my wife politely declined the proposition and we left wondering how to proceed because the assumption was that our nuptials would have been performed in this place that she had called her home parish. But then, it was suggested that we talk to a Pastor in Staten Island as I believe he had a connection to my grandmother on dad’s side of the family. Maybe it was in the stars but as soon as I heard his Scandinavian accent, I knew we could make this work in a shortened time frame, much to the dismay of my mother.

From the moment I was able to prepare a card for mom during my school days at P.S. 169 by drawing a crooked heart on the cover along with “stick figures” that depicted a young boy holding mom’s hand, I recognized that this day was all about her, not just “Mother’s Day.” I can imagine her holding on to the valentines that I crafted from kindergarten through sixth grade because I see the ones that our offspring created for my bride that she keeps neatly stored away with each year improving but do you know what, the cards created at the younger ages have to be the most treasured because even I melt when I see the pure innocence. By the time I was in high school and maybe having others to share with this “holiday,” mom was always my first Valentine as I would shower her with a huge card and flowers. Of course, there was chocolate as she loved those Stover’s heart shaped boxes with the various flavors and she knew the exact number left, so you did not want to be called to the carpet to answer the dreaded question of “who ate my chocolate?!” (Later on, we all knew not to touch her Haagen Daz ice cream bars as she would open the freezer assured that her inventory was intact).

One instance before our marriage took place was that we went out for a dinner at one of her favorite restaurants and I could see how much pain she was in but that did not stop her from enjoying one of our last moments together as a family before the bittersweet day of our marriage occurred. As we were eating, I could see her looking deep into my soul while probably thinking the same thing when our offspring left to begin their own life- “how did this day come so fast?” And our wedding day, I knew that she was not feeling one hundred percent, oh no far from it, but there was no way she was going to miss this magical day. Jane was the highlight of the party as on the video she can be heard saying “Oh my God, he did it” after the DJ played the first forty seconds of “Live Wire” by Motley Crue. She brought everyone to tears inside the party room at the GJOA by joining me in the middle of the floor to have our special dance. And then she was right there using her arms to dance to “Hot Legs” by Rod Stewart as we all cheered her on. Only days before I could not wait to ask her to be my Valentine. She said yes.

After mom passed in 2004, life as I knew it changed forever and trying to adapt in a world without her continues to be a struggle as those who have lost a loved one knows, the “first” holidays without them can be especially taxing. I remember in 2005 when I could no longer shop for a Valentine’s day card for mom, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Over the years, I have to admit that I do peruse the “Mother” section, seeking out the card that I believe represents what Jane was all about. Each year since 2004, as soon as I awaken, I ask her if she would be my Valentine. And then I tiptoe out of our bedroom to retrieve the typical dozen roses, card, small box of Russel Stover’s and a gift to place on the kitchen counter so that is the first thing my bride sees as she emerges from her sleep.

My bride. I know I have said this many times over, but I knew my life changed forever when we went on our first date in September 1988, when we attended the Def Leppard concert. Our real first conversation occurred on the subway ride to my parents’ home on “fifty-third” from Whitehall street on the “RR” train (now the “R”) as I purposely took the local to “fifty-ninth” before transferring for the “N” and exiting at the next stop at Eighth Avenue. During that ride, I could feel something so magical, so different because it was extremely easy to converse with and I had to stop myself from staring into her eyes as I hung on to every word she spoke. Guess who was the first person to meet my future wife. Mom. Before we left to go to the car to make the trek to the Brendan Byrne Arena in East Rutherford, N.J., my mother pulled me to the side and whispered “did you see her eyes? Whatever you have been doing these last few months, ends tonight.”

At first, we tried to hide it while both working for Standard & Poor’s as we kept a low profile, even when seeing each other in the cafeteria but in a brief time, it became well known. As time went on, I knew that I loved her, right from day one, but I was afraid to say it because I had been hurt in the past and needed to ensure that the feeling was mutual. I think one thing that was different from past relationships was that there was a physical distance between us, which prevented overload. And like I have stated many times on this page, I had to develop a maturity because as we all know, doing something the same way while expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity. The final aspect that I wanted was to be a friend with my next connection. Some of us have childhood friends that have remained in our lives, while some unions have fallen to the way side and while I was sorting things out before I met my bride, I longed for my next partner to be someone that was my dearest friend.

The first time I told my Valentine that I loved her, there was an immediate reciprocation of affirmation that took the weight of the world off my shoulders as I often wondered if I ever would find it again. Taking a page out of “Goofy’s” playbook where I utilized his edict of “Slow and steady. Steady and slow. That’s the way we always go.” Prior to our nuptials, we took a trip to Disney, and I was able to get his autograph. I will go out on the limb and say that my wife was not anticipating to become a mother but maybe I changed that notion, is what I’d like to think. Once our firstborn came into the world, I could see even deeper love in those eyes. And when our second child was born, she was over the moon. As the boys grew older, I now had company to purchase gifts for our favorite two Valentines.

When my wife was able to get a break, I would clear the table as the kids would create their own Valentine’s day card for their mother as I would beam with pride. Watching her open the cards and gifts is something that I will always treasure, especially while they were growing up. At an early age, they lost one of their Valentines but the memories of how mom would soak them up whenever we came for a visit will forever be etched in my heart. I know the boys have faint memories at best, but I keep her in the conversation at every opportunity.

For the past decade we have tried to plan a weekend excursion because our anniversary and Valentine’s day always seem to coincide with President’s day, which has allowed us to catch up on Broadway play’s. One of my favorite things to do is to spend a weekend at a charming hotel, which has to have an elegant lobby or at least one “king size” chair where I can just kick back and read the N.Y. Times. Enjoying a wonderful meal at the extremely underrated “Keen’s Steakhouse” or the romantic setting of “Victor’s Café” with my bride is what I live for and attending one of the many diners on the upper east side of N.Y. for Sunday morning breakfast is what it is all about for me. And do you know what? My bride loves to do the same thing and when there is a connection like that, at least in my opinion, it breathes energy into the phrase- “it is the little things in life that mean the most.”

As we celebrate Valentine’s day today, it never gets old for me and just like the holiday spirit, I run from people who have a frown or complaint about on why they have to show their love for their Valentine by purchasing a card or flowers. I wish everyday could be just like Christmas or Valentine’s Day. Time eventually does heal as it has afforded the opportunity for remembrance of those small moments such as my mother holding my hand as we walked to Fifth Avenue, while she pushed Rich in the carriage with her right hand, in our weekly journey to Anchor’s Bank and the “Five & Dime” store, also known as Woolworth’s. Or our dance together at the wedding. And believe it or not, even when she was in the hospital. When I arrived, she was sleeping and all I did was pull the chair up to the side of the bed. Every once in a while, her eyes would open to see me, but no words were spoken as we were both comforted by our company, even in silence. The first thing I did this morning was to ask her if she would be my Valentine.

Since we are empty-nesters, it has opened the door for multiple hiding spots and since the forecast called for a foot of snow from Monday night into Tuesday, my plan went into effect. Instead of vacuuming the church on early Tuesday morning, I would do it on Monday and knowing that she had a 7:30 a.m. call, I went to get all the appropriate gifts and had the whole house to find the new spots. As soon as she wakes up in the morning, everything will be on the kitchen counter. I never take it for granted as I always ask my bride if she will be my Valentine and once, I hear yes, I can uncross my fingers. She is my life.

I consider myself blessed to have had two Valentines throughout my entire life and for it to coincide this year with Ash Wednesday only deepens the meaning. Today’s setlist will deal with love that I hold for two exceedingly special women where my life would have never been the same without their love, guidance, and above all being the best friend anyone could ever have. (Enjoy!) (Apologies about the songs that I have already utilized on other setlists).

1— “Woman” by John Lennon— Remember I wanted this to be our wedding song, but it really only went in one direction. As I look back, I should have had the DJ play this song at some point during the festivities. If there was one song that I wish that I could have written, it would be this one because everything that John pours his heart for Yoko is the same affections that I hold for my bride. “So let me tell you… again, again, and again… I love you… yeah, yeah… now and forever… I love you… yeah, yeah… now and forever.”

2— “The Best Day” by Taylor Swift— I think mom would love Taylor if she were around and this song tugs at the heart, while depicting the love of a mother. “I had the best day… with you today.” There were so many “best days” spent with mom as she always made us feel special, giving us her all and expecting nothing in return. But you know I returned the love. “Now I know why all the trees change in the fall… I know you were on my side even when I was wrong… And I love you for givin’ me your eyes…” Brings tears to the eyes. I am a total “Swiftie” despite not knowing her catalog like the die-hards but anything she touches turns to gold.

3— “I Love You”—by Tesla– Originally performed by the Climax Blues Band, Tesla’s take on this absolute classic is stunning to the point where I would say it is as close to the initial recording and since I am partial to this unit from Sacramento, I am going with this rendition. Jeff Keith’s brilliant recording of this tune is Exhibit A for those who think this man cannot sing. “Thank you babe for being a friend… and shinin’ your light in my life… ‘cause ooh I need you…” My bride entered my life after I thought there was no way I would ever love again. I am eternally grateful to her for being wrong. (Spotify did not have the version that I wanted so I substituted the Climax Blues Band rendition)

4— “I Hope You Dance”—by Lee Ann Womack– If there was one thing that mom loved to do, it was to dance. About a month ago, my dad informed me that mom was the best dancer when she was in her late teens and early twenties. Despite her illness she never let her heart become bitter and given the chance to sit it out or dance, it was always dance. I believe the first thing she did when arriving in heaven was dance without any more pain.

5— “The Day I Fall in Love”— by James Ingram & Dolly Parton- Yes, I am utilizing a song by mom’s favorite, Dolly, to express my feelings about my wife. The lyrics that strike me the most is when James sings the following- “… just an ordinary day… started out the same old way… then I looked into your eyes and knew… today would be a first for me… the day I fall in love…”  Thanks to Mr. Fagan, who helped me pick the spot to propose to her, I am lifted off the ground to that memory whenever I hear this song.

6— “Sweetest Devotion”- by Adele–Even though this is a song written through the eyes of a mother after her child is born, I can picture mom feeling the same way after all of her boys came into this world. “The sweetest devotion… hits me like an explosion… all my life, I’ve been frozen… the sweetest devotion I know.” All I know is that her devotion to her family was the sweetest ever.  

7— “There Will Never Be Another You”- by Eddie Money– If I could, I would like to lip-synch to this song as my wife is sitting in the middle of the wedding room with everyone watching as I would profess my love for her with these wonderful lyrics. “There will never be, never be another you… I could walk the whole world over, over again… I’d never find another you… No, I wouldn’t find, no I wouldn’t find another you.”

8— “The Mother”– by Brandi Carlile–I think mom would also have liked Brandi, especially the lyrics that seem to cut to the heart of the matter. This is a tune about a three-year-old daughter from a mother’s point of view and the unconditional love that effuses from any parent. I can imagine when I was three and my mother’s mother held me in her arms smothering me with kisses as my mother looked on with such happiness.

9— “Nothing Can Change This Love”- by Sam Cooke – I have always maintained that if we were to exchange our vows again that this song would be one of the tunes that we would dance to as it is my most treasured track by Sam Cooke. When the kids were in grammar school, I would put this tune on the stereo, move the living room table and ask for her hand as we danced cheek to cheek. I believe this is one of the most romantic songs ever recorded, again a “one-sided” tune. Talk about drifting off into another stratosphere? I can’t say enough about this stellar song.    

10— “Promise”- by Tori Amos –A mother & daughter duo that is “deep” as they both make a promise to be there for each other at all times. My mother was there for all of us, and I tried to return the same for her.  My dad was with her as I witnessed an unconditional love that stands above all.

11— “Vivir Mi Vida” by Marc Anthony– This is dedicated to my bride as she has always “lived her life.” The song is about living life to the fullest and doing what makes you smile, laugh, and dance. Whenever “her music” comes on, the smile on her face tells the story, as it is pure joy. We went to Radio City Music Hall to see Mr. Anthony and what a night it was. Despite not understanding one word, I had a blast watching her having the time of her life while singing and dancing. The entire audience was “dressed to the nines.”

12— “Julia”- by The Beatles– I know, what a switch from a high energy tune to this severely mellow song but hopefully you do not have a Casey Kasem moment where you curse about a “damn dog dying.” It is well known that John had a tough childhood, coupled with a difficult relationship with his mom. But the words here depict a love for his mother as it feels like he is pleading for her to listen to his heart. This is my most favorite song from the “White Album.” You do not know how many times I have listened to this tune in my lifetime. It will forever remind me of mom.

13— “All My Life”- by Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville-I am back at the GJOA club on that wonderful Sunday in February 1991 as this was the “second” wedding song that we danced to as people were pelting their glasses with their spoons. I can picture her looking into my eyes and singing this with her heart. Folks, these are two of the greatest singers this world has ever seen and heard. This song is beyond spectacular and admittedly better than the song I picked for our first dance. “Hey… I’ve lived all my life for you… and now you’re here… hey I’ll spend all my life with you… all my life.”

14— “(They Long to Be) Close to You”- by Carpenters– This is my number one song with my mother as she would sing it to me, and it set me on my way for the life long appreciation of Karen Carpenter. The words that I remember her reciting to me were the following- “… on the day that you were born the angels got together… and decided to create a dream come true… so they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold… and starlight in your eyes of blue…” I was extremely close to her.

15— “U Rok Mi”- by Def Leppard-Alright, have to give credit to Def Leppard because if it were not for them, we may never have crossed paths. Instead of going with their traditional catalog, I decided to continue to highlight their last studio album- “Diamond Star Halos”- as this is an upbeat tune that will have everyone dancing in the aisles this summer at Citi Field. I know I will be there, have to check with my bride if she wants to recreate the magic.  

16— “Born Loose”- by Rod Stewart– Keeping the rock and roll theme going here, this is the last song on side one of “Foot Loose & Fancy Free” and I can picture my mother’s shoulder moving up & down, pointing with her elbow while squinting her eyes to this knockout tune. She would ask me to play it when dad came home but his reaction was not as fanatical as hers as mom and I would both be “head-banging” away. When the bridge rolls in, she absolutely loves when it slows to a crawl, and she would scream “woo” right along with Mr. Stewart as the groove slowly comes back to life. Mr. Appice’s drumming at the 4:31 mark is probably my ultimate of any song and when the speed comes back with a fury, he just absolutely kills it. Folks, this is the purest rock and roll you will ever hear.

17— “Look What The Cat Dragged In”- by Poison-My wife loved to attend the “hair-band” concerts with me and we went to see Poison at least three times before our marriage day. I love it when she feints the “air-guitaring” as this type of rock was right up her alley. And make no mistake, I was there rocking out the night as I made no excuses for my love of the hair-band era. I know Mr. Dio had some strong opinions about bands like Poison but I always needed variety, as you all know by now. “Oh my God, look what the cat dragged in!” Crank this one way up and air-guitar away with C.C.

18— “Emotional Rescue” by Rolling Stones– Mom sometimes would get Mr. Stewart mixed up with The Stones as she loved both of these units. I was going to go with “Miss You” as that was one of her favorites, but she also loved the title track to this album that was released in June 1980. She would try to mimic Mick’s high falsetto as she would squint her eyes and let the music take her away. The door always remained open when I would blast this as loud as I could because dad was not home. Charlie’s drumming is beyond infectious, and I would have to say that this is one of Mick’s best singing songs ever. Yes, I just said that.

19— “If Looks Could Kill” by Heart– By far Heart is my bride’s favorite band and we have seen them a few times, with a memorable show at Jones Beach. She loved the way both Ann and Nancy can rock out with the best of them. I think after Patsy and Karen, Ann would be my number three as I do not think there has been a better female singer in the rock genre. I know some of the brethren had an issue with the path that the band went down during the mid-1980’s but there is no denying that there are some knock-out tunes, as well as stadium anthems.  

20— “Afterwards” by Nick Arne– Taking it down again as this song would be for both of my Valentines as I believe that mom would love this young rising artist and I know that my bride absolutely loves this man. I know I keep going back to his “I Love You, But…” album and it just keeps getting better, like fine wine. I will never forget sitting in the Goodie Shop on a Sunday morning and Brian looked at me and said “Afterwards.” He proclaimed that he was hugely impressed that someone as young could write a song like this and talk about me being over the moon. I know mom is looking down with a smile.

21— “Wedding Song (There is Love)” by Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul & Mary)– I know I say this all the time, but this song is one of my favorites ever as I am taking this tune to a deserted island. I drift away as the lyrics depicts what actually happened- “well a man shall leave his mother” and then later on- “well then what’s to be the reason for becoming man and wife?… Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?” The melody is picture perfect as I can imagine renewing our vows on a tropical beach because she is done with the New England winters. This is an absolutely exquisite tune.  

22— “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston– I can’t think of a better song that I can dedicate to both my mother and bride, especially on Valentine’s day as I truly would have nothing if I did not have the both of them in my life. The passion of this tune sets off the water works for me because Whitney sings it with such power as her words of “I have nothing, nothing, nothing… If I don’t have you,” gets me every time. I don’t know where my life would be without my two Valentines. Thank you to both for always saying “yes, I will be your Valentine.” Did you ask that someone special in your life today?

A Note

“Errol, please stay behind. I would like to talk to you.”

Introvert or Extrovert? Depends on the situation as I could seemingly camouflage into the background in large part due to the sometimes-crippling insecurities, coupled with bashfulness, which would lead to misguided personality assumptions. Other times, the bravado borders on insolence. As a child, whenever there were adults around there would never be any contempt because if there was (is) one certainty, it was good behavior, that could be just a glance away, but the message was delivered. This conduct has remained throughout adulthood as the desire to assist others is something that was naturally allotted to me through my parents since birth.

Respectful or mischievous? Both. I believe that the person who knows me inside and out is of course, my bride. Expectations are high as the eldest and never wanting to disappoint causes that long horizontal bar to be lifted to the point where even the strongest pole-vault may just snap, instead of the insane ability to bend. I believe I was born old because the need to satisfy or “tow the line” is something that also has been engrained into the fabric but in no way am I pointing a finger because it really was inevitable. My escapism ignites the spirited, which in turn, causes surprise or maybe alters supposition just enough to indicate conformity.

Boarding a school bus at the tender age of approximately nine years old was something right out of a movie or television series because after walking to the local public school in Brooklyn for the prior four years left me wondering where my life was headed as the drive took nearly seventy minutes to arrive at a campus whereby what appeared as “crossing guards” were directing what seemed like hundreds of large yellow vehicles into the circular sphere to discharge passengers as if we were seniors headed to Atlantic City. Marching in a single file format along this long rotunda sidewalk, I was flabbergasted to view my new school as it was only about three stories high with light beige coloring that sat upon what seemed like miles of grass. Where is the six-story high old grey building with the majestic entrance that was surrounded by concrete and a large black picket fence that was impenetrable?  As I walked into this alternate world with my backpack, the fear of the unknown, coupled with not knowing one other person, left me feeling extremely vulnerable and the only mechanism that I had was to revert to a fetal position, longing for familiarity.

Sitting in this chair complete with a desk that was able to fold into a semi kitchen table made me feel like I was driving a car as I was amazed that it could slide back into its compartment once the bell rang to switch classes. Since my last name always seem to put me in the front of a class (or now the first in a group email), I felt the approximate forty eyes on my back with the fear to turn in any direction but since the teacher was right in front of me, it made life somewhat easier because her presence made me forget that I was all alone in this foreign land, also known as grammar school. Afraid to make any mistakes socially or educationally, I operated on a solo basis despite being surrounded by hundreds of kids as my shyness skyrocketed to unprecedented levels. And in a weird twist, just as we received the news that we were moving back to Sunset Park, the fourth-grade teacher at Minisink wanted to have me, along with other students, to stay at her house for the weekend. Of course, since my parents were reared in the city, their “Spidey” senses kicked into overdrive because there was no way they were allowing a fourth grader to spend time at a stranger’s house and we left Otisville the same way we arrived- overnight, without a word to anyone.

Fast forward to 2011, I am sitting in a large conference room with my colleagues while Steve is giving one of his many inspirational speeches to the troops to encourage teamwork as his leadership style was the best that I encountered in my work career. Just like me, his world revolved around baseball, and he managed to ensure that even the last batter in the lineup felt wanted but more importantly that he or she understood their position on the team and despite the “cleanup” hitter maybe garnering all the attention (or salary), he ensured that everyone felt valued because it was clear that his appreciation touched each employee, despite maybe his “tough” managerial style. Once the meeting ended, he stated the aforementioned.

Fearing that I had done something wrong, I meekly approached him and asked him why he wanted to speak with me. “Can I ask you a question? Why are you so quiet in these meetings? On the baseball field, your mouth roared from centerfield as I could never get you to shut your mouth. Are you the same person?” Comfortability has always been the key as I explained that on the diamond, I had this confidence that bordered on arrogance, which afforded the boasting but if I am unsure of my ability in certain situations, it is like watching a clam close its shell. Each year during my tenure as the left centerfielder on the S&P softball team there was always this new “stud” who played college ball or better yet played running back on a nationally known university, who thought that maybe that position was available. And in our first practices of each year, any unfamiliar face was met with “you better move to another spot on the field because you have no chance to beat me out as I will be batting first and playing centerfield.” Of course, as I write it now, it is embarrassing and extremely immature behavior that I apologize to those who were affected by my senselessness.

Since I was only in the group less than a year, it was like I was back in the fourth grade at Minisink, as I tried my best to blend in while making no noise and trying to soak everything in without being noticed. And just like being in the sand box at grammar school, my colleagues either intentionally or unknowingly, shut me out of the group as my reliance on the manager grew to the point where even I realized that I could not go to her each time help was needed because she had her own work to do. And as mentioned in the past, Robin went to Steve to suggest that I be lifted from the higher education group to the local government team. Although I remained quiet and reserved in my new adventure, eventually I came around as those former colleagues remain lifelong friends.

Looking back on another situation where what I believe the introvert part of my personality bloomed again occurred in 1980 when I knew that I did not want to attend Fort Hamilton high school in Bay Ridge as most of my friends were zoned for New Utrecht, so I decided to take the examination for the Bronx High School of Science, Stuyvesant, and Brooklyn Tech. After gaining entrance to Tech, I was thrust into a world where I knew no one and even though there were friends of mine from Sunset Park in attendance, our paths hardly crossed, if at all. And just like the situation at Minisink, I felt like a fish out of water as I struggled to conform to the subdivisions of the high school halls. (“Rush”)

While waiting on line to pay for lunch, my peripheral vision tried to locate a table to sit because hesitating or stopping with a tray in hand after obtaining change from the cashier was a sure sign that conformism was not your forte. The “jock” table was dominated by the football team and even the small size jersey was like a tent for me, so I knew that entrance was locked, while the “popular” area did not include those who wore flannel shirts (remember pre-Nirvana, it was not cool to furnish flannels) or “Chuck Taylor’s,” so I typically would end up either by myself or with the “nerd” crowd, which I did not mind at all. My shyness increased as the school year went on and after talking with mom for breakfast, there was not much speaking until I arrived back home.

Then one day while in math class, this young woman named Karen sits right next to me before Mr. Banks arrived and begins a conversation. “Do you ever speak?” was what I believe she initially said to me as I slyly smiled. “You have this mischievous look about you; I know there is someone in there.” At first, I was shocked that she was talking to me because I knew she was part of the “In Crowd” and my insecurities kicked in. But Karen probably assumed that would be my line of defense and little by little her persistence to “break down the barriers” worked as we became best of friends.

Before you know it, I am being introduced to her friends either in the cafeteria or classroom as she would let them know that I was not that “strange” (it’s all relative, right?) as I could sometimes feel their hesitation, but Karen built me up to those who were in doubt. By the middle of my second year there, I was able to stop and look while holding my lunch tray because there were options now available because of her. In the spring of 1981, Billy Squier releases “Don’t Say No,” which has a song (“Nobody Knows”) that is dedicated to John Lennon, and I shared this tune with Karen. To this day, whenever I listen to this heartfelt tribute, it reminds me not only of John but of a long-lost friend.

At Brooklyn Tech, one had to select a major and at that time, I thought I was going to be an architect, so the last two years there our paths crossed like two ships in the night with passing glances and little time to talk but she put me on the road of becoming an extrovert. And in a moment that I will never forget, she began writing to me in my yearbook but became distracted as others had approached her to sign their books. So, to this day when I turn to the page, there is a message that is incomplete.

Today is National Send A Card to A Friend Day and just about three weeks ago while I was cleaning out my drawers (after a stern suggestion from my bride) at the bottom of where I place my socks there was a “bunch of stuff” that I have always wanted to keep but forgot where I put it. Included in the findings was an official letter from the New York Mets that was addressed to me at the ripe old age of ten to our apartment house on forty-sixth street that included a team picture of the 1975 squad, along with their signatures on the back of the photo. And then I saw this long rectangular card. As I took it out of the envelope, I knew it was a birthday card and when I saw it was from Karen, it took my breath away. Once we graduated in June 1983, our paths never crossed again and sadly we have not spoken since that time. I wish I knew where to send a card to a friend that made an enormous impact on my life as I would want to thank her for “breaking me out of my shell” during our time together at Brooklyn Tech.

Today’s setlist is dedicated to those who still send cards or notes to their friends the old-fashioned way by writing in pen or pencil, along with a stamp so the mail person can deliver it to their home. The songs could contain “card” or “letter” in the title as well as everything else that goes into sending a card or note. (Enjoy!)

1— “Please Mr. Postman” by Carpenters— I recognize that “The Marvelettes” did the original version and I believe after one of the original members had passed away, I utilized this track. I love both renditions but am partial to Karen, as you all know by now. Her voice melts my heart just like Patsy Cline and I have stated that the two of them are my favorite singers ever. And I have to give credit to her brother, Richard, who was the force behind this incredible duo. I wish that I could have seen Karen in concert. Remember, my song with mom is “Close to You” and they are both in heaven.

2— “Please Read the Letter” by Robert Plant & Alison Krauss— Each time I hear a song from this beautiful partnership, I think of my bride and how she was sound asleep at the “Felt Forum” (or whatever it is called these days) inside Madison Square Garden on their “Raising Sand” tour. I think this is my favorite tune from that album and despite my deep affection for the Mighty Led Zeppelin, I have no ill will towards Mr. Plant for not going out on tour with Jimmy, John, & Jason because it is his right to do what he wants. We all know he “goes back” and performs some of the “Mighty Zep” catalog. He recently took the stage with Deborah Bonham (sister of the late John) this past Sunday in Blackpool, London, and they played “The Lemon Song” and “Ramble On.” So, you never know when he will bust out some of the old classics, just don’t force him into a box.

3— “A Letter to Myself”—by The Chi-Lites– As soon as you hear the opening notes, you are lifted off the ground and float right to the clouds. My bride loves this band and their classic tunes. Obviously, things are all relative but at times there are things that are “unfair” because when one listens to a song like this, there really is no competition. (my extrovert side, LOL) For the younger generation, please explore the catalog from this amazing quartet.

4— “Return to Sender”—by Elvis Presley– This has always been one of my all-time favorite Elvis songs and I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have heard it in my lifetime. For all the “haters” out there, it is nothing but jealousy because there can never be any denial that Elvis had it all. ‘Nuff said.

5— “If My Heart Could Write a Letter”— by Johhny Maestro & The Crests- This is dedicated to my dad. If you think that I am upset about Thin Lizzy, Bad Company, Foreigner, Boston, Soundgarden, and others not being elected into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, you have no idea when it comes to Johnny Maestro. My dad is still talking about this massive oversight, especially since Dion is in the Hall.

6— “In Your Letter”- by REO Speedwagon–Song number four on side one of arguably their most popular album- “Hi-Infidelity” and I have always said that it is a “classic album side” despite others thinking that this was a “filler.” Call it a “guilty pleasure” or “bubble gum rock” or whatever you like but I am not hearing any of it. I love this tune. Only album that I lent out (to Johnny) and never received it back. It never happened again. I remember my mother being upset with the cover of this incredible album.  (Remember, I was only fifteen when it was released).

7— “The Letter (Live)”- by Joe Cocker– I know I had utilized the original version done by the Box Tops on another posting, but I have not used Joe’s amazing rendition. I do not know if it was “Joe’s touch” to the way he changed up the tune, but it is nothing less than spectacular. Many consider “Mad Dogs & Englishmen” the greatest jam band of all time and I for one, would have no arguments against that claim. The background vocals are outstanding, this is flat-out incredible.

8— “Box Full of Letters”– by Wilco–Thanks to my friend Patrick, I now have a better understanding of Mr. Jeff Tweedy and how music changed his life, as well as life changing his music. His book- “World Within A Song”- are fabulous tales of the songs that resonated with him deeply and the list will surprise you. This tune sounds like a lot of influence from Tom Petty. Love it.

9— “Write Me a Letter”- by Aerosmith – This is dedicated to my friend Grace who absolutely loves the early days of Aerosmith. Taken from their debut, this song highlights everything about the band when it first started out as one can taste the hunger as the music is filled with blues and rock & roll. If this doesn’t get the juices flowing, then I give up. For those who think Aerosmith are just a “power ballad” band, think again, this is pure rock and roll with a hard twist. Crank it up! If you listen to the “live in studio” version from 1973, it will blow you away.  

10— “Open Letter (To a Landlord)”- by Living Colour –When Living Colour exploded on to the scene in 1988, it was unbelievable as Vernon Reid shot right to the top as one of the best guitarists’, while Corey Glover became one of the premier singers of his generation. “Vivid” is one of the finest debut albums of all-time, no question. I remember when another Karen and I attended one of their explosive concerts at the Beacon Theater. My mom was perplexed on how I was attending a show with a married woman and asked, “Doesn’t Richie own a gun?” It is funny how there are so many people who believe that the opposite sex cannot be friends as I have lived through this my entire life. Right off the bat, “99” comes to mind, as well as Cathy, and both Karen’s, as well as a host of other women who have been an important part of my life.

11— “When I Write the Book” by Rockpile– The year was 1980 and two music giants decided to work together for one time only. Dave Edmunds and Nick Lowe joined forces to release “Seconds to Pleasure,” which I used to listen to “over and over again” It has this “old school” feel to it, even back then as each song was only about three minutes long and it was pure rock & roll. If I had to guess, I assume that the members of Squeeze took something from the page of Rockpile. Folks, this is classic stuff.

12— “Mailman”- by Soundgarden– Who delivers that card or letter? The Mailman. If I had to choose, I think this would be my most favorite song by Soundgarden and this is off the best album of the 1990’s – “Superunknown.” “… Hello, don’t you know me… I am the dirt beneath your feet…” Recently, there have been a group of people that take about thirty minutes each week to discuss “everything music.” In one of our first meetings, Joy mentioned that this was her favorite Soundgarden song as I almost fainted. I could not believe it. Whenever there is a connection like that, it sends me over the moon. “But I’m riding you all the way, I’m riding you all the way, YES I AM RIDING YOU ALL THE WAY!” No other way to listen to this song but LOUD!

13— “Friendship”- by Chris Stapleton-Friendship is what it is all about and I believe it helps your self being in many ways. So why not surprise your friends by mailing a note/card or letter to let them know how special they are, especially those who have been with you for a lifetime. Mr. Stapleton is a talented artist.   

14— “Every day I Write the Book”- by Elvis Costello and The Attractions– Although I am not a huge fan of Mr. Costello, I recognize his impact on music. This is an upbeat love song that has beautiful background harmonizing vocals. This song was recorded in 1983, the year we graduated from Tech and later on this became a classic “MTV video.” This is a nice tune.  

15— “Dear Lord”- by Thin Lizzy-Okay you are not seeing double, I am going with two Thin Lizzy songs in a row. Whenever one writes in a card or a note, it typically begins with “Dear” and who better than the Lord to call upon when you are at your lowest point. Folks, Lizzy is so much more than “The Boys Are Back in Town” and the deeper one delves into their catalog, you too will agree that this legendary band belongs in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Mr. Lynott was a musical genius, and I am grateful for his gift to all of us.

16— “With Love”- by Thin Lizzy– More times than not, your card or letter will end with the following words- “with love.” I would like to thank my friend John, who was the guiding light when it came to this band as he says that “Black Rose” is their best work. The more I listen, it is hard to argue. Back then, the albums use to come at least once a year, if not two, and to consistently craft great songs is incredibly hard but this unit never released a bad body of work. “Tin Lizzie” deserves another nomination and then acceptance, I cannot say it enough.

17— “Dear God (Sincerely M.O.F.)”- by Monsters of Folk-This “supergroup” released one album in 2009 and this was one of the two singles that was issued on the radio. I like the entire body of work. The group includes Jim James (MMJ) and Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes). If you are looking for a “totally chill” album, this is it. The combined forces created some nice tunes.  

18— “Hotel Paper” by Michelle Branch– Sometimes when we are at a hotel, we use paper to write a note to someone special. I always love to sit in a nice lobby with majestic chairs while writing, either this blog or a card to my bride. Believe it or not, my oldest introduced this album to me at the ripe old age of ten and each time I go back to listen, this body of work holds up.

19— “Note to God” by Charice– The lyrics written by Diane Warren are still apropos for the world today despite being crafted nearly fifteen years ago. And Charice sings this beautifully. I love the “over-the-top” production, along with the majestic background choir that puts this atop my all-time songs. I always ask God for us to find a way to end all the bitterness and to put tenderness in our hearts.

20— “Love Letters in the Sand” by Patsy Cline– Since I have Karen Carpenter on this list, it only makes sense to place Patsy on the same mix as it again reminds me of mom. Her voice is mesmerizing, and I can understand why my mother loved her. This is flawless.

21— “Letter to Heaven” by Dolly Parton– Another one of mom’s favorites and the lyrics to this song pierce the heart, while also being a bit frightening. I know there have been letters that I have written to heaven asking God about mom and how she has been. It is hard to believe that this year will represent two decades since her passing but as I have mentioned in the past, there have been moments when I feel her presence. There has been no predictability to those instances where she comes into my mind as it is random and even includes certain fragrances such as the yarn that my bride keeps in the bag that mom used. Whenever that is opened, mom is in the room. My other letters to heaven pertain to Rebecca as I ask for her permission for us to move on while also letting her know how sorry and how much she is still loved.

22— “Until Then” by Sully Erna & Irina Chirkova– “Until next time” or “Until Then,” is what I have been wishing for as I looked every where for a long-lost friend just to say hello again and ask how life has been for the past forty-one years. Attending high school reunions has proved fruitless, so I will continue to write a note to a dear friend, hoping that some way she sees this blog. Take time to write a note to those who enrich your life and remember to send a card to a friend.