The Best $20 I Ever Spent

It was late on a Friday afternoon in March 2010 when I noticed a calendar appointment come into my outlook, but the topic was lacking. My “Spidey” senses kicked in and I immediately clicked on the list of invitees. Noticing that the ultimate superior was included, along with other senior people, plus our entire sales group, I knew that the early Monday morning meeting would be filled with the same Human Resources personnel that were there in 2008, to hand deliver a package. But unlike the first time I was asked to deboard the bus, there would be no housewarming gifts to hold one over for a calendar year. No, the company was not going to make that same mistake as it was a wink and a nod thanking you for your services, which were now unwanted.

As Jamal unfolded his blueberry muffin, unaware of the impending layoff, he looks up and asks what the meeting is going to be about. Not wanting to sugar coat or lie to him, I informed him that we were quietly walking the plank because the entire sales group was being asked to attend and that had never happened before. His stunned look remains with me to this day as denial quickly came to the forefront, just like it had done for me in May 2008. But this time it was extremely different, there was no two-week layover where walking the office hallways with the scarlet letter posted to your chest, while the survivors looked away when you passed them because that guilt is real. Since it was my second time around, annoyance replaced shock, as I asked for no words to be spoken by the exact same person who delivered the message in 2008 and I quickly walked back to my cubicle.

Approximately five minutes later, I can feel someone standing outside my cube, which was then the updated version whereby the company cut them in half so you would be in full view from any point on the floor, which gave new meaning to the term “big brother is watching.” Looking up at the shadow cast over me, it is a security personnel member wondering why I am still logged on to the system. Empathy was my plan as I asked for an hours’ time while imploring him to walk in my shoes at that moment. Looking down at his watch, he lifted his pointer finger in the air while slowly walking away. Since I had been a member of the S&P men’s softball team, I knew there would be diversity amongst the various departments as I pleaded with them to keep an eye open for any opportunity. Almost immediately, the phone call that changed my life came from Steve as he told me not to worry and let my bride know that things were going to work out.

My first day of employment with the Public Finance group was a shorter commute for me as I drove to the prestigious Mohonk Mountain resort for a three-day planning session. After the morning assembly, we were given the afternoon to bond with our colleagues with hiking options that included a one- or five-mile walk. Of course, you know me by now as I selected the longer alternative and was somewhat surprised that there were not more participants. Unbeknownst to me, there was already someone with a grudge who assumed that I was the “dumb jock” who was being added because I knew the head coach. They did not know that I had already been part of the team for decades and I believe Steve knew my character. Anyway, I just happened to mention that I thought we were walking in circles because I had noticed the same red bow marking in a tree that depicts a trail to follow. Quickly taking off the lanyard from around the neck that housed the compass while saying the following with complete disdain- “well if you can do a better job as the navigator, have at it.” At that moment, I knew that rain clouds were coming for me and after suffering for nearly a year, Robin came to my rescue after witnessing the harassment in a committee. And then my life changed forever as I entered the Midwest group. 

Recognition of assistance was a pleasant turn of events and before long I acclimated to this new family despite being in the New York office. Eventually we became the Central group after a merger of members of the East with the Midwest and Chicago became my home away from home. Since I was the eldest, my fatherly instincts kicked in with the younger crowd as I looked to protect while also learning from them every day. By 2016, we were siblings from another mother.  And this assembly of folks loved to have fun together.

Upon learning that Taylor was coming into the New York office for one night only, I immediately searched for things to do in Manhattan and of course, concert listings were the first order of business. There were slim pickings but then I noticed an event sponsored by Eddie Trunk and despite never hearing about this band named the Dead Daisies, I knew it had to be a fun time because I was beyond obsessed with “That Metal Show,” where Mr. Trunk was the host. And the best part was that the tickets were only $20, so I purchased four. Little did we know that Thursday August 17, 2017, would be a night that we will remember for the rest of our lives.

Arriving in the office that morning, I was super excited, similar to the feeling of the holiday party in December as I did not want to do anything but go to this concert. Work was getting in the way of having fun, but I managed to divert my attention because we were always busy. Knowing that I would have to pry Linda away from her desk at the five o’clock whistle but to my pleasant surprise, she was ready. As we were getting into the elevator, others asked where we were going, and I made no bones about it- we are going to see The Dead Daisies.

Heading to the now defunct High Line Ballroom on 18^th street, we were right near the Chelsea market, for which I had never visited before, so Taylor was not the only tourist as both Linda and Lauren navigated us towards dinner. The recommendation was “Los Tacos No. 1” and when I took the first bite, I knew instantly that the night was going to be magical. Those were the best tacos I have ever eaten, still to this day. Next stop is a pub/restaurant as I believe margueritas were the first and only drinks that we had to purchase. As we are sitting at the bar, the keeper lines up champagne glasses for all of us, while I tell him that we did not order it. And almost immediately, another bottle is headed our way as well as any drink that we wanted. There was an older gentleman that was buying rounds for the entire horseshoe shaped tavern. He is sitting next to Linda and my paternal instincts kick in as I position myself closer, but she informs me that she can handle herself. The barkeep continues to line up drinks while imploring me to not ruin his potential for making more at that moment than he does on most evenings. “You do not have to drink them but please let me keep pouring because this guy is spending some big money.”

The gentleman emerges from the restroom and before he can head back to his seat, I stepped in front of him and said “No one here is going home with you” which I said in jest but wanted to send a message. “Hey, I am not that type of person, I just want to buy the entire room drinks with no strings attached.” Needless to say, there was an added buzz to the night besides the Dead Daisies. Walking up the steps to the Highline, I was stoked because I found out that Paul Stanley’s son, Evan, was fronting a band called the Dives and they were the opener. 

The Highline sat atop a Western Beef Supermarket, so you know this place was not too big and the sound was similar to that of an elephant sitting on your chest. Recognizing that I am getting long in the tooth, the Dives were the youngest bunch of players that I think I have ever seen as they would have come in first place at the local high school battle of the bands. The energy coming through the speakers was that of a son of a New York legend trying to prove that they were worthy, with no influence of any of dad’s band but more like that of the Beatles meshed with Green Day.

The sounding board is behind us as we are all chatting and then the lights descend, indicating that this relatively unknown band, loaded with individual stars, is about to hit the stage. “Whole Lotta Love” turns into “War Pigs,” and I had a feeling that this show was going to be great just because of the pre-game music. Then suddenly, they explode on to the stage with what is now one of their classic tunes, “Long Way to Go” as the consistent strumming of the rhythm guitar by the millionaire, David Lowy, who started this band as a hobby, sprinkled in with the tease of the lead guitar by none other than Mr. Doug Aldrich, formerly of Whitesnake fame. As the frontman begins to sing, I know I have seen his face before and later on when the then bass guitarist, Marco Mendoza, kept saying “give it up for Mr. John Corabi” I realized that he was the singer on the only self-titled Motley Crue album released after Vince was given his walking papers. And little did I know that I would be saying the name “Mr. Tichy” because each time I have seen them, Brian has been the drummer as I think Mr. Corabi says his name more than any other.

The smashing drums are crushing my chest, along with the pulsating bass as Marco is dancing around the stage as him and John seem like brothers, along with the rest of the unit as the pure hard rock & roll has blown me off my feet. When Doug lashes into his solo, the smile on my face told the story. Never did I know who this band was and after the first song, they were instantly my new favorite band as I wanted to quit my job to become their roadie or whatever I could do to join in on the fun. By the third song, “Make Some Noise” I thought I had died and entered the hard rock heaven as even Linda and Lauren were head-banging to this extremely infectious, thunderous music. At that moment, I was wondering how I missed something this phenomenal and wanted the show to be broadcast across the universe just like the State of the Union address each February. This would give new meaning to “Must See TV” as I guarantee that even grandma and grandpa would be air-guitaring in no time. Each time I would look over at Taylor, who is younger than me, and even his smile told the story, this was going to be the best $20 we ever spent in our entire lives.

When they covered CCR’s “Fortunate Son” it just kept getting better and while performing “Join Together” by The Who, Mr. Mendoza jumped off the stage while roaming right by us, I knew at that moment that this was one of the best concerts I have ever attended. Folks, they covered the Beatles “Helter Skelter” and I completely lost it as the entire audience was singing, air-guitaring and head-banging like we were one big family. “Helter Skelter… say what?… Helter Skelter… Can’t hear ya…” Then after the guitar solo, the flow turns into a familiar song- no! Are you kidding me? “Nobody’s Fault but My Own” by the Mighty Led Zeppelin, I have again died and gone to heaven. The last two songs are covered incredibly as the band laced into “American Band” and “Midnight Moses.” I love it when John will say “hit me five times!” and my obsession with him began.

Never wanting the night to end, I surprised my friends by slicing through the crowd to be at the forefront of the stage to try and slap hands with my new heroes. The buzz is completely different now because I need more guitar, so we head to another pub as I realized that I am in danger of missing the last Metro North train heading back to Brewster. The magical carpet ride continued as the bartender in New York City bought us a round back after only one purchase of drinks, twenty minutes earlier. C’mon even in your local watering holes, a buy-back is like a winter blizzard, far and few between. Since I am the old guy in the group, I have no idea how to navigate securing a hotel room online, so Lauren books it and from that moment, no more worries about getting home. Arriving at the office that Friday morning, with a solid three hours of sleep, I was still on a high from a night that held no expectations.

August seemingly is the time of the year that the Dead Daisies arrive in the Tri-state area as the following year they came back to the Highline and this time, the Chicago representative was Emily. I tried feverishly to get the entire New York faction of the Public Finance group to attend but the core of Linda and Lauren did not disappoint as they came back for round two. I promised Thomas that I would pay him the price of the ticket, a whole $2 more, if he did not enjoy the show. This time around, they had released the impressive “Burn it Down” which only enhanced their repertoire. Needless to say, I did not have to reimburse Thomas because he agreed that they were an incredible live band.

In August 2019, our streak of seeing the Daisies ended when it was announced that the legendary Mr. Glenn Hughes was replacing Mr. John Corabi as the lead singer (as well as Marco, since Glenn is a bassist). Stunned, I was back in the fetal position, maybe not as long as when I lost my job, but it was devastating news because I felt that this was John’s band, despite acknowledging that Mr. Lowy created this unit knowing that members would come and go. With no offense to Mr. Hughes, I refused to listen to anything but the Corabi Daisies.

Walking around in a daze just like when Chris Cornell left Soundgarden, I chalked it up to another life lesson while being extremely perturbed with the management of the band for getting rid of John. And then in May 2023, my life was resurrected as it was announced that Mr. Corabi was back in the mix. I see that John is the opener for Tom Kiefer at the Palladium in NYC on Saturday June 24^th and while Winger was playing, Mr. Corabi was outside in the bar area selling merchandise. What? Are you kidding me? I have a chance to meet one of my idols. Fumbling with my phone, I do not want to be Jackie Gleason on the $99,000 answer to say “I brive a dus.”

His merchandise gentleman, I think Tom, graciously agrees to take the photo and my Christmas gift came early as this is a photo that I will treasure. And for those who know me, I never look at pictures with myself in them. As Winger is playing, I continue to walk around the circular place, actually stalking John out because I cannot believe that he is out in the open. About thirty minutes later, we are both at the bar having a toast and talking music. I was stunned to find out that John was the one who opted out in 2019, in part to a busy schedule.

Fast forward to last Tuesday, I knew that the first show with John at the helm was happening, but the venue was four hours away, at a place called Mickey’s Black Box in a town that I had never heard of, Lititz, PA. Knowing that I did not want to drive back after the show ended, I asked my bride if it was acceptable if I stayed overnight. She agreed and I booked a place called the Hotel Rock Lititz, which was across the road from Mickey’s. Cranking the Daises for a major portion of the drive, I was beyond psyched. After checking in at “four-thirty” I headed down for dinner an hour later. As I am sitting in the bar/restaurant I see both Doug Aldrich and David Lowy about to walk through the place. I immediately jumped out of my seat as everyone around me was wondering who these two gentlemen were as I uncharacteristically approached them like long lost friends but knew a bear hug was off limits. For the next hour, I was like a guard dog keeping an eye for any movement by either and then I see them walking back through the bar area. I jumped in front of David and calmly asked if I could take a “selfie” with him and Doug. He obliges but asks that we do it in the lobby of the hotel. Now I am scrambling because I have no idea how to take a selfie and Doug immediately grabs my phone while saying the following- “here, let me take the photo.”

Even before they hit the stage, the four-hour drive meant nothing to me at that point as I literally could not believe my luck. Walking into Mickey’s, I could feel the energy despite my notion that NYC is the only place that exhibits that behavior, every single show that I have ever attended. I cannot say that about New Jersey or even my home state of Connecticut. After an impressive set by a band called the Stone Horses, we all can see the silhouettes of the band members in the dark as I already know it is going to be a night of euphoria. There he is, the leader Mr. John Corabi, in the forefront as the world is right again as the opening riffs to “Resurrected” begin with David and Doug trading off each other as the crushing sound is breathtaking. Straight down the middle, larger than life is Brian Tichy, smashing his drum set and cymbals as if his life depended on it, as the new piece of the rhythm engine, Mr. Michael Devin, (of Whitesnake fame) is on bass and before John even sings the opening lyrics, I already know that this is going to be a night to remember.

The head-banging kicks into full gear with the heavy “Rise Up” as the smile on my face continues to grow as I am literally jumping up and down while air-guitaring and air-drumming with a fury. This was a “one-two” punch like no other as John appears to be extremely comfortable, despite being back with his “Ex,” which we all know can be somewhat uncomfortable. “Dead and Gone” is performed to perfection and when the “We Will Rock You” drums start one of their stalwarts, “Make Some Noise,” I literally wanted to cry tears of joy because this is the best live band you will ever see or hear. And for the life of me, I cannot figure out why they are not being asked to perform at the 2024 Superbowl. By the time they played “Something I Said” I knew without delay that the Daisies should never look for another singer. I have to say I was a little surprised the way John introduced Michael to the crowd with a vivid “X-rated” description that left nothing to the imagination and then he kept it going by describing how Doug was involved upon his presentation to the audience, of both of his friends. The show ended with one of their stalwarts- “Mexico”- which is always a crowd pleaser. Never wanting the night to end, I had remembered the prior times I have seen them, and they never left the stage to come back for encores. But I was certain they were returning and as the dark silhouettes took their places on stage, the audience was extremely appreciative as they laced into “Long Way to Go” and their incredible take on “Midnight Moses.”

Recognizing that the band has taken up residence in the same hotel, I knew that I was to remain in the hotel lobby with the expectation that they would just waltz in freely and it did not matter how long it took, I had nothing but time on my hands. As I walk over to the lounge to obtain a refreshment, I am suddenly engaged in a conversation with four people, who are all fans of the band. Assuming they were locals, I was blown away when they stated that they drove from Connecticut and Rhode Island. I thought I was the only “freak of a fan” to drive that long to see the greatest live band out there today.

And then it happens, all the members, sans Michael, head for the restaurant as Debbie makes a beeline towards Mr. Corabi. Shying away because I do not want to seem like a burden, she calls me over and says- “Show John the picture that you took with him.” While searching for the photo, I looked up to him and said- “John, my obsession with your career has taken on new levels as I have listened to every podcast or interview that you have done, and I need to ask you one question.” He obliges and waits for my request. “Can you show me the tattoo that you share with Dimebag and Tommy Lee?” Lifting up his sleeve to a litany of “tats,” he points to one of the smallest but probably the most special of all as my night just kept getting better.

Roger and Carol convince me to have another while I am talking to John. Debbie laments that she does not have a photo with Mr. Tichy and guess who is walking back to his room. I now have a snapshot with each member except Michael. Brian remained with us for at least twenty minutes as we peppered him with endless questions. Of course, I asked who his influence was as a kid growing up and he responded with Peter Criss. Trying to contain myself as he mentions that KISS and Van Halen are two of his favorite bands. Before he leaves, I ask him for the best from each. He deflects and asks me for my favorite Halen album, while I quickly respond with “VH II,” and after careful consideration, his retort was “Fair Warning.” (I cannot argue with that). Flipping the switch, I look to him for the best KISS body of work. “Rock and Roll Over” as he proceeds to list each and every song from side one and side two. Almost losing oxygen by this moment (see my post from July 19, 2020) I shook his hand and thanked him for his time. Also thanking my new best friends, I went to my room thinking that dreams really do come true.

This week’s playlist is dedicated to the Dead Daisies as I will continue to say that seeing them live in concert is still the “best $20 I have ever spent.” Here is a list of songs that I feel you will like! (Enjoy!)

1— “Make Some Noise”— I will never forget the first time we all heard this at the Highline Ballroom on that fateful night in August 2017, I could not believe how good it sounded as the entire crowd was bouncing to the groove while screaming “Make Some Noise.” Many of the songs on the list will come from the live album because I wanted to give you a taste of what it could be like if you were there with us (next time!), so my recommendation is to go to your room, close the door and the windows (so as to not lose any flavor) while cranking this one up as loud as you can. “… turn it up louder… wake up the dead… scream like thunder… bang your head…” Words to live by. \m/ \m/

2— “Dead and Gone” — Staying with the head-banging groove, this tune is from the solid “Burn it Down” and in my opinion, this tune highlights everything great about the Dead Daisies. Of course, Doug’s guitar solo is as sweet as ever, while Brian, Michael (Marco was on the original recording), and David keep the train moving along with the infectious flow. And at the forefront, is the man known as John Corabi, author of “Hand grenades and Horseshoes.” It seems that his entire career has been a “just missed.” The album he did with the Crue is rock solid and dare I say sits near the top of that catalog when all is said and done. “Union” is another stellar unit and how they were not bigger is beyond me. John and Bruce Kulick joined forces to make some rockin music. He mentioned to me that they are like “oil and water” together but respect the hell out of each other. John, you have found a home with the Dead Daisies. With no disrespect to Glenn Hughes and Jon Stevens, John has something magical when he is up on stage as the lead singer as he appears to be extremely comfortable. And the man can sing!

3— “Leave the Truth Behind”— If you look up the term “rock & roll” in the dictionary, you just might see a picture of the Dead Daisies and this tune could be referenced. The furious pace is highlighted by John’s vocal prowess as the heavy guitar sound just crushes it out of the ballpark, while the piano adds to the rockin’ flavor. I would love to hear this track played at one of their concerts, maybe next August- who is in?

4— “Leave Me Alone”—I live for heavy guitar, and it does not get much better than Doug Aldrich on lead as I am always “air-guitaring” when I hear his music. And what about Brian Tichy on drums? Oh my, the man can absolutely bring it at every show and every recording that he is on as anyone can tell that he gives it “one hundred percent” effort all the time.

5— “Song and a Prayer”—You cannot go wrong with either version or this time around I went with the original recording instead of the live rendition. You can go see them in concert to hear them play this because in no time you will be singing along with John and the audience- “… I got a song and prayer for the dying… wherever you go, whatever you do… you gotta be strong, you gotta keep trying… I got a song and a prayer for you…”  

6— “We All Fall Down”– Love the guitar work between David and Doug as both keep the flow grooving along while Brian’s crushing drums will make you move your head north to south. My favorite lyrics are the following- “… And the king who doesn’t give but only takes… let him try to get on through those pearly gates… when he finds he is denied…. He’ll regret what’s left behind… cause there won’t be nobody left to blame…” For some reason I can picture denial even at the highest level.

7— “Evil” – Yes this is a cover of Howlin’ Wolf and the one thing about this unit is their love of rock & roll music. They pay homage to their heroes and the songs they love. Incredibly, the band stays true to the original renditions but clearly add their own toppings to their “fun-dae.” I would have loved to be inside the studio when this was recorded, especially when the guitar solo kicks in at the 1:10 mark. Crank this one way up!!

8— “Judgement Day”– This could be my ultimate Dead Daisies song; I can listen to it all day long. It has the “muscle” of those late 1960’s cars (i.e.- Pontiac GTO, 1968 AMC AMX, 1969 Ford Mustang) and of course the sweet guitar solo from Mr. Aldrich. The cool beginning and end flows softly but belongs in the structure. Love the way John sings this tune, especially the following- “… go on lay your judgement on me… do you practice what you preach… when you stand before your maker… hope you have a soul for him to keep… time will tell… I wish you well…” Folks, please give this band your attention, you will not be disappointed. “All my life… I’ve wasted so much time…”

9— “Something I Said”- This is a sing along song that will leave a smile on your face. John does a nice job on vocals and the flow will cause finger-snapping, while dancing around the room like no one else is watching. “… Sometimes we only see what we want to see… and then we step into the fire… Oh Yeah… and the truth hurts now…” Hopefully it is not too late to fix things that have gone wrong and sometimes it is something I said.

10— “With You and I”-I believe this sits atop the list of their best songs, not only for the musicianship but the lyrics. Love the “Frampton” “Do you feel like I do” guitar sound coming from Doug. “… what happened to the innocence… what’s changed in all our lives… so quick to pull the trigger, communication is denied… sitting on a powder keg, with candles in our hands…” The outrageousness has reached epic levels and it really sits with you and I to change things? Are you ready?

11— “Rise Up”-Crank this one up right from the beginning as this could be the best head-banging songs ever recorded. Love the consistency throughout as I cannot stop my chin from touching my chest. I will harken back to the early days when Brian Johnson joined AC/DC and those shows would contain numerous rows where synchronized headbanging would break out all over Madison Square Garden. I can picture attending a Daisies concert where everyone in the audience is dancing like the Peanuts gang around Schroeder while he plays his piano, as the head-banging and the foot swiping, just like when a horse starts its motor would fill the club, while the band blasts away with this stunner of a song.

12— “Helter Skelter”- Okay I had to put this on the list because I believe once you hear it, you will be right there with us back at the Highline Ballroom. Of course, everyone knows the opening lines- “… when I get to the bottom… I go back to the top of the slide… where I stop, I turn, I go for a ride… till I get to the bottom and I see you again… yeah, yeah, yeah…” Folks, this could be one of the greatest hard rock song ever and it was created by the Beatles, are you kidding me? The Dead Daisies do it justice and if this doesn’t get you out of your seat to sing along with John, then nothing ever will. The guitar solos are righteous. Then right around the 2:25 mark, the infamous “Nobody’s Fault but Mine” is sprinkled in to take it to a monumental level. Folks, it really does not get better than this as I was out of my mind with euphoria. So good. Ask Linda or Lauren.

13— “Resurrected”- This was the first song that John sang on his second stint with the band, and it was like he never left. I love the way he sings the following- “… I’m a man on a mission, you better listen… Ain’t nobody gonna stop the show… Riding high on my horse, ass in the saddle… all revved up ready to go…” Oh my, increase the volume on this bad boy and running around in circles at a furious pace is recommended. Whenever I rake the leaves, I take a break while running around the entire lawn making believe I am Aldrich and Lowy up on stage. Almost out of breath but I catch a quick break at the 3:15 mark. The groove slows a bit, but the heaviness never leaves. OMG, too much to take.    

14— “Mexico” – “Paris, let me see your hands!!!” Love the introduction and then the electric guitar on its own, along with the “cowbell” effect made by Mr. Tichy, you see even I am saying that all the time, it just flows. I think there is a case that many of the Dead Daisies brethren would say that this song is the most fun at any of their concerts as the singing and dancing is nothing but infectious. There is a nice guitar solo and of course the chorus- “… we gonna ride to Mexico… California goodbye I’m moving on… dead or alive you never know… In Mexico… down in Mexico… we gonna ride, do what we want…”

15— “American Band”-I would never state that this is better than the original, but it is right up there as an equal. When I asked John some of his favorite bands while growing up, he mentioned Grand Funk Railroad and one of the best live albums ever recorded, “Pop ‘N Hiss.” Ironic now that Mr. Kulick has been in Grand Funk for decades. I will never forget the faces of Linda, Lauren, and Taylor on that magical night as we were all singing along to this classic. Look for the official video and tell me this is not great.   

16— “Long Way to Go” – This was the song that introduced us to the band that night and I knew immediately that they were my new favorite unit. Can you imagine a small room with this blazing in your ears and you had never heard of them before? I could not believe my luck and if not for Eddie Trunk’s name next to the sponsorship, who knows when I would have discovered them. Last Tuesday, this was one of the encores, it does not matter where it is on the setlist, but it always has to be included.  

17— “Midnight Moses”- The best part about music is discovery. Not only did I encounter one of my favorite bands ever, but I did not know that this tune was a cover, and the original was recorded in 1972 by The Sensational Alex Harvey Band. (By the way, check out his catalog, unreal) Now of course, I would never insult the brethren of Alex Harvey by saying that it is better because the original version is just as smoking. I would say that the Dead Daisies do it justice. Folks, this band deserves your attention because they give it their all on stage and in my opinion, they are impossible not to like. Thank you, John, Doug, David, Michael, and Brian for enriching my life and the night of August 17, 2017, was the best $20 I ever spent!

(Btw, today represents 100 straight weeks of posting Errol’s Weekly—thank you for reading)

Summer’s End

Walking down the creaky steps in the extremely dark staircase where the only visible item was the silhouette of the wooden handrail, which in the dead of morning appears larger than life, I walked as quietly as I could, so as to not wake up my parents because this was one of the rare moments where I was up before the coffee percolated. Twisting the finger guard to the right to open the circular lock, I can see the shadow of the newspapers blocking out the light from underneath the door by the lamppost outside of our apartment on fifty-third street. Upon opening the door, one could tell that the buildings and streets were thankful for the obscurity cause even though the day was only five hours old, it already had a feel similar to that of when you let chocolate pudding settle right after turning off the control knobs on the stove.

Is school really only two weeks away? As I load the shopping cart, after checking to see if Matlack pitched a no-hitter on the back page, I am yearning for summer to last longer, while wondering why do the things that we love to do race by with a fury but the time for being responsible seems to be spent inside a glass timer with dripping sand. Slowly, I lower the front end of the cart onto Eighth Avenue and the front wheels appear to sink in slightly, while the bottom of my trusty Chuck Taylor’s feel like they will leave a trail of footprints, even with my young body mass. To outsmart the Miller’s dog, who waits for me each morning to perform his duty to protect the family with raucous barking that causes a slight lift of the right eye of the neighbor next door, the plan devised is to lock my feet into the first opening on the steps while hanging face first to gently drop the rolled-up paper that is secured by a rubber band, from my hands to the front door of the basement entrance. Success, no noise as I head back to ninth avenue to jump on the rolling cart as I have more fun riding it now than when my parents ruined the adventure inside the supermarket. Nothing says freedom like standing on top of the back wheels of a blazing shopping cart.

By the time I get to “sixty-fourth” and “thirteenth” avenue, the sun is attempting to rise but at this point in August appears to be getting more “shut eye” than it did just two months ago. Avoiding sixty-fifth street because of the race-car atmosphere with two lanes of opposing traffic going at insane speeds because the morning shift has not yet begun at the sixty-sixth precinct, I zig-zag my way up past the GJOA club, future spot for my nuptial. Walking up the right side because no parking is allowed near the endless fencing that keeps adventurous teens from entering the “N” subway line for a ride but not for those who need a restroom. Passing Olsen’s bakery, I quickly open the door to let the lovely ladies know that I will be back to purchase their delicious crumb cake as well as getting a drift of a cold breeze being released into the tropical Brooklyn air.

After locking the shopping cart to one of the meters in front of our home, the staircase looks less ominous as the sun really does enlighten an outlook. Upon entering the thick air in the apartment, it makes no sense to shower because the four fans positioned in each room will only spread the humidity, so the first shirt of the day is tossed into the hamper. Regurgitating the endless complaint of why the rest of the world has air-conditioning only falls on deaf ears, so why waste more hot air that will only add to the congestion, as even words have a challenging time squeezing into the atmosphere. Pouring the sugar laden “Count Chocula” into a small bucket size bowl, I apply the milk but leave it inside the refrigerator for at least thirty minutes because soggy is the way I roll, as I read the Daily News that my dad swiped before I went on the route. (Yes, I had to order one more, while eating the $2.50 each week when it came time for collection).   

Knowing that I cannot ring doorbells at the seventh hour of the day, I wait until the eighth before heading to my former (and favorite) block in Sunset Park, forty-sixth street. Instead of inviting just the public-school sector, again I threw caution into the wind by extending the offer to go to Brighton Beach to the Saint Agatha crew. Recognizing that everyone else needed at least an hour to get ready, I grab a sharp rock to begin my street art by copying “Mantis” into the soft blacktop with the band’s van right in front of me. Of course, Tommy and Vinnie are the last ones to exit from the second level of the aligned brick houses at half past the ninth hour. Finally convincing the entire gang to turn right instead of venturing to the “B” train, three long avenues down, with the promise of a sizable homemade Scandinavian crumb cake portions for each to digest on the “N” train. And just like the designated driver, I volunteer to watch everyone’s possessions while the rest of the group falls back asleep on the long ride to Coney Island.

Typically, we would walk to Brighton, but the appeal of the ice-cold “D” subway car makes it an easy decision, despite sitting for an eternity for it to leave from the “first or last” station on the line. It is only two stops but with the wait more sleep is captured, which regenerated each childhood friend to be ready for the day of body surfing and football on the beach. Descending down the two-story level staircase and before hitting the sand, we make an immediate left turn into our favorite delicatessen. Each one of us takes the dollar bills and coins out of our sneakers because our shorts do not have pockets to pay for these nice size sandwiches stacked with our favorites- baked ham, salami, or the favorite amongst all of us, raw roast beef.  

Approaching the boardwalk, with the option to walk up either side of the street entrance or underneath but past experiences dictated always going up and over to meet the sand. “Errol why are you wearing socks to the beach?” was the question always directed to me while everyone else had appropriate footwear but my aversion to flip-flops began at an early age, when I could never have a piece of rubber between the toes. (Remember “Between the Toes?” that was the place my bride and I most frequented during the beginning of our courtship). Placing each sandwich inside our baseball caps, while laying out separate bath towels, the shirts come off as we all are feverishly seeking relief from the blazing sun as it becomes a foot race to dive into the foreshore with at least chest high waves. One of us would run back to our spot to grab the football as a game would break out almost immediately and we would navigate in between the little ones headed to the ocean with their proud parents just like when we stepped out of the way for a car coming down forty-sixth street. The slapping noises of our hands trying to slow down the receiver on their arms or sneaking in a leg trip because you knew you were beat while inadvertent sand would fly in the air from our feet just like when mud splashes while pushing a vehicle out from a bunker.

After an hours’ time, we return to our towels but most leave them lying on the sand because it is of no use to dry off. Standing side by side taking huge bites into our sandwiches trying to not let the sand creep in from our fingers as we all look up at the converted crop duster plane that is carrying the new sign of the day- “WAPP FM 103.5 Rolling Commercial Free All Summer Long.” Even though the waters were not deep blue like the tropical islands, this was the life, the youthful feel of freedom despite returning to our parents’ home. Languishing in the sun too long without a drop of lotion ever applied, we would wait for that poor guy lugging around the all-white tote bag, barely hanging on to each thread, carrying ice cold sodas before heading past Nathan’s to the train station. But of course, we all made sure we saved two dollars for either cotton candy or the rock-hard candy-coated apple before heading back on the “B” train this time because Olsen’s typically closed before five, so I agreed to take the longer way home because I was with my friends.

Opening the back doors to the oily van, Mr. G would stand there on Eighth Avenue while somehow a whole baseball team fit into this mid-sized vehicle in between all the equipment, including the white bucket holding the oldest baseballs ever as they looked grey from overuse. I usually would let Henry, Brian, Sean, and Steve enter before me because I was a dwarf next to these guys, while Frankie had the best seat of all, next to his dad, which he still occupies. Rattling around in the back, praying that neither door blew open if we hit a huge unavoidable pothole, the conversations were all about baseball. Those moments in that van were frequent, without a hint that they would become a distant memory, as our entire world revolved around friendship and playing a game we adored.

Warming up on the right side of the diamond at 79^th street on Shore Road, the playoff game between our arch nemesis, the 72^nd Precinct, was about sixty minutes away (when I was an umpire, parents were dropping off their kids a few minutes after game time) and there were pleasantries shared because we all knew Coco (who actually made the “show” with the Cleveland Indians) as well as other friends. Mr. G was all business once we crossed those lines flashing signs and if you needed a wake-up call, it was loudly delivered. Our lineup was stacked from top to bottom, while Sean and Frankie already gave us the upper hand because of their craftmanship on the mound. Brian and Henry shared catching duties, where they had to be prepared for the blazing fastballs and huge curves from the dynamic duo. And then there was Stephen. Almost overnight he sprouted up to be the tallest and one of the most gifted athletes that ever played for the legendary Flynn Celtics organization.

With the score tied in the bottom of the last inning, their big lefty delivers a high fastball that Steve crushes up on to the hill a country mile long as we all mob him at home plate. Grabbing all our stuff, we make the long walk back to the van, but the excitement of winning would last the long winter as returning to school loomed large once again. As Mr. G dropped each one of us off at our respective homes, the closing of those doors left a lifetime of memories for us to look back upon with such joy and happiness.

With the end of summer quickly approaching I wanted to take you through a journey in my mind of things that actually occurred sprinkled in with dreams that I still have. Even as an adult approaching the beginning of a seventh decade, the apprehension that I felt as a child about another school year approaching remains with me despite not being in a classroom since 1994. This is because I never wanted summer to end because it always seemed that the most fun occurred on the streets of Sunset Park, or the diamonds on Shore Road, or in the back of a greasy van, or on the bays in Cape Cod. There is something about that first chill in the air that signals the end of all the fun and as we all grow older, those summer moments become shorter. Couple that with the loss of a mentor, “Mr. G.” and now sadly a treasured teammate of ours, Stephen Downs, who passed away unexpectantly last Thursday, has changed our landscape forever. What I would give to go back in time to ring his bell and say, “Can you come out to play?” As the tears fall once again, I pray for his wife, family, and friends as I recall his smile. He was exemplary with a beautiful soul. Frank, my heart bleeds for you. Let us all remember him in whatever way he touched our hearts. I will recall that smile and his unbelievable “swish” from well beyond the three-point line as a youthful teenager in a place called Brooklyn. Godspeed.

Today’s setlist will deal with the summer ending and songs that either have “summer” or “end” in the title and of course, tunes that I feel that fit the mood. (Enjoy!)

1— “All Summer” by Little Big Town— I’m thinking that Little Big Town may be approaching Joe D’s streak because I think I have had them on every list since last year and since we are coming to the end of summer, what better way to start off the fun with “All Summer.” The only category that I would put this band is “the world’s greatest harmonizing vocalists” because everything they touch turns to gold, which in my world is the sun and then to summer. There is an infectiousness about this track that will sneak up on you where you will not be able to get it out of your head.  

2— “Summer’s End” by Foo Fighters— This tune landed in my top ten Foo Fighter songs of all-time from the stellar “Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace” album. I remember walking on the beach at Cape Cod with this blasting in my ears as that summer sun was shining down and we all know that feeling, even the sun likes summer better. “… Meet me in the summertime, we can move the air… sweet Virginia countryside, I will meet you there… bloody lips and cherry wine, moonshine in your hair…” I bet that the Foo Fighters would have been popular in the 1970’s because I feel like this song could have been played on WABC AM radio during those great summer days of that decade.

3— “California Summer Song”—by Tesla– Tesla is back on the list again, can I get an Amen?! And yes, it is from “Shock,” the album that gets no praise from a large portion of the brethren, but you are forgiven because the more you listen to each track, the realization that there are the traditional guitar solos, along with the incredible vocals by Jeff Keith that make it TESLA! This is a hand clapping, singing in a circle right on that sandy beach song as everyone is looking to the blue skies, wanting the summer to never end. 

4— “The Last Day of Summer”—by The Cure-There is a long instrumental introduction that grabs your attention as the beauty of the combined instruments will make you feel like you are lying on the beach drifting off after putting that book down. The singing slides in extremely unassuming and takes the tune to another level. The tone of the track is somewhat mellow and makes it really feel like the last day of summer. What I would give to go back to those summers while playing with the Flynn Celtics, we were a family that had fun together, playing a game we loved. “… it used to be so easy… I never even tried…” Now when I play, I feel like I never played the game of baseball but back in those glory days on Shore Road, it was all I lived for.   

5— “Summer of Love”— by The B-52’s- I love this band and it is sad to know that they had their last tour but at least there is a legacy for all of us to look back upon. I loved their “weirdness” in both song and appearance. This song is “normal” for the B-52’s because there is not a lot of zaniness but more of a structure and a subdued approach. It is different from the rest of their catalog, but I still like it.

6— “Summertime”- by Bon Jovi– Admittedly I do not listen to the “new” Jovi like I did the original Bon fire that tore through the rock scene in the 1980’s and there are a small number of tunes that I can listen to, with this being one of those songs. And of course, the chorus is what strikes me the most- “… feels something like summertime… top down ain’t nothing but time… radio’s on and you’re by my side… feels something like summertime…”

7— “Dusk and Summer”- by Dashboard Confessional –Love this song. There is a calmness that exudes trying to hold on to those summer days and nights forever. “… some things tie your life together, slender threads… and things to treasure days like that should last and last and last…”

8— “Don’t Let It End”- by Styx –Whenever I hear Dennis’s voice it brings me back to the times where the members of Styx loved each other and the great music they recorded together. And even though this album (Kilroy Was Here) has “Mr. Roboto” this tune makes up for that. Knowing that this is a love song but some of the lyrics kind of predict the future of the band because maybe James and Tommy knew the end was coming. And it seems that even Dennis saw it coming but maybe the words depict a plea- “… what will I do if you say we’re through… I need you to stay, honey don’t let it end this way…” Unfortunately, it did end on a sour note. The reason I picked this tune is because it is the end of August as I plead “don’t let it end!” (summer).   

9— “All Ends Well”- by Alter Bridge– I love this band and am hoping that the newly announced reunion of “Creed” does not put an end to this unit because I think the original members of Creed have a good chance to make a ton of money with this event. And I would not blame them if they cashed in. That said, the afterlife of Creed, Alter-Bridge, is an outstanding unit that continues to make fantastic music. The chorus to this tune is extremely uplifting- “… If you believe in nothing else… just keep believing in yourself… there will be times of trouble… it’s gonna hurt like hell… this much I know all ends well… it all ends well…” Despite the fact that the summer is ending, all ends well because it will come back again for us to enjoy.  

10— “The End of the Innocence”- by Don Henley-I do not know about you but each time the summer ended when I was a child, it really seemed like the end of the innocence. Unfortunately, these days it seems like long lost friends seem to gather at a wake for another friend, which is truly the end of the innocence. Talking with long lost friends this past Monday conversations came up about some who took the wrong path but before all their trouble began, they were nice people at their core, but all the innocence ended as they grew older. When I think of them, I remember buying ice cream from Mr. Softee each day as the truck would purposely come around dinner time, much to the chagrin of the mothers in the neighborhood.

11— “Summer Breeze”- by Seals & Crofts-The summer breeze puts me right back on forty-sixth street outside the Blum’s house after Johnny illegally opened the fire hydrant without the sprinkler cap. No, the hollow aluminum can was the only way to spray anyone who dared to stand in front of the fury blasting out of that “Johnny Pump.” As your sneakers squished, you tried to catch your breath, while the water leaked from every orifice. After the police turned the corner, we scattered like roaches when the kitchen light is turned on to our respective homes, with some of us leaving behind sneakers that could have been used as evidence. Later that night, we chose sides for “coco-levio.”   

12— “Summer in the City”- by The Lovin’ Spoonful-I think this is the ultimate song that describes life in any big city across the U.S. during a hot summer. The sound of jack hammers just kills me, I love it. “But at night it’s a different world.” So true, because once it cooled off to a balmy eighty-nine degrees around nine o’clock at night, folks congregated on their stoops as each night, we would hang at the O’Leary’s, then the Graham’s, then the Blum’s or Alessio’s. Before you know it, the sun was rising as we could not wait to do something and nothing all day and all night long.

13— “Summertime”- by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince– Could be the smoothest summertime song ever, right? Each time I hear this I think about the “block parties” we would have on a Saturday morning during the summer (only time it ever happened). As a kid, it was the coolest thing ever because we could go in the street without getting yelled at or look for speeding cars, while the colored triangle flags would stretch over our heads, secured by the windows from each side of the block as everyone participated in the fun. One could eat all day because each family would hand over anything they were cooking on the grill; I could smell the good old times. We rode our bikes, big wheels, or whatever was your mode of transportation. Then later on that night, one of those “hungry bar bands” would plug in and play some rock and roll as we never wanted it to end.   

14— “Joy to the World” by Three Dog Night-If I am still on “46^th street” then I have to throw this tune into the mix because this will forever remind me of Ronnie Principe as he would lift me to the air and sing – “Jeremiah was a bull frog”- while swinging me from side to side. And my mother loved Three Dog Night as she enjoyed the way Chuck Negron sang this classic. Folks, Three Dog Night deserves your attention because they have crafted some of the greatest songs ever.

15— “In the End”- by Linkin Park-Going to the deep end of the pool, recognizing this has nothing to do with the end of summer but it has the word in the title, I love this tune (especially the piano notes played slowly throughout), so I decided it goes here. Sometimes in life, we bottle things up inside and it gets hard. It is never a sign of weakness to ask for help, it is the exact opposite because putting everything out there to a friend or complete stranger is the highest form of strength in my opinion.   

16— “Weak-End”- by Lainey Wilson – I believe that Mom likes Lainey’s music because it seems real and this song hits home in many ways for a lot of us out there. If it becomes too much of a ritual, then maybe it is time to find something else to do on the weekends. Wow, this tune is powerful.

17— “Sundown”- by Gordon Lightfoot– It is really sad to lose our childhood icons and when Gordon passed on May 1^st of this year, a part of my summer went with him because for whatever reason, I have always associated his music being played during this time on WABC AM radio during the 1970’s. Whenever I hear this song, I am waking up in my grandparents house, trying not to wake up Rich, as I head up to the school by eight to enjoy four hours of fun playing games, archery, or whatever the activity of the day was and I hope kids have that opportunity in today’s world.

18— “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”- by George Michael & Elton John-I know this might be considered treason but I love this version better than the original. I think it is because George knew he had to give his all while up on stage with one of his idols and he knocked it out of the park. As I knelt in prayer for Steve, I thought back to those times playing together with the Flynn Celtics and I never want the sun to go down. The finality is too real and the one thing we have is our wonderful memories of those special moments of spending time together.

19— “Now Comes the Night”- by Rob Thomas-This is also one of the saddest songs that I have ever heard, and this is dedicated to Stephen Downs. “… and when the hour is upon us… and our beauty surely gone… no you will not be forgotten… and you will not be alone… no you will not be alone…” When I saw his uncle looking at his nephew, I could feel the pain as he was probably thinking how it could be Steve there because thoughts of him as a baby, then toddler, and a young man most likely is what was being reflected upon. Cherished family moments as well as the most beautiful time spent with friends is something that we can all look back upon through our tears to help us through the night. “… so just slide over here… leave your fear in the fray… let us hold to each other… until the end of our days…” I never thought the summer would end like this as I will utilize a famous quote, from an unknown author, – “… Although it is difficult today to see beyond the sorrow. May looking back in memory comfort you tomorrow…” I know that is what I do all the time. Images of the Flynn Celtic days come roaring back and through the tears, there is a smile to help with the pain.

Losing Touch

As I sat in his office in March 1999, waiting to be interviewed for a position at MBIA Insurance Corporation, I started to twitch because my obsessive compulsive disorder (“OCD”) was at a fever pitch because I did not know what time it was (remember I finally purchased a “flip phone” during the mid-2000’s) and the urge to return to the S&P office before the masses began to roll in was enormous because anonymity was “plan A,” while denial was “plan B.” But the flaw in the latter was that my face usually gives me away, my bride knows when I may be “fibbing” because our eyes are not locked, so secrecy was the chosen path.

Everyone else up to that point had been on time and if there is something that my dad taught me, it was to be at least an hour early. Methodical precision is the best friend for those who walk around with OCD and if there is a glitch, well let’s just say the wires are crossed and one never knows what could come next. As I sat there for what seemed like an eternity, he finally enters with a coffee and bagel in tow. Placing both on the desk that separates us, the jacket is put on a hanger and instead of closing the door to begin the process, the following words are uttered – “I’ll be right back.”

At that precise moment, the urge to just get up and leave almost occurred as I walked in circles around the enclosed office wondering how this could be happening. As I saw a shadow coming towards the door, I quickly sat down to avoid any thoughts of abandonment on his part. Right off the bat, I could tell that this man was extremely intelligent with a dose of self-admiration, which later on when we became friends, was a trait that I admired because it is better than self-doubt. After leaving the “Lipstick building” on third avenue in midtown, thoughts of survival came into being because there was no way, in my mind, that Sandy was going to give me the “thumbs up,” when the candidate decision was up for a non-verbal vote. I had to think of something “dramatic” but not too much so as to muddy the waters of “believability.” For those who know me, one can imagine the sweat underneath my suit jacket as I strolled in close to “eleven a.m.” By this time, I assumed my colleagues had sent out a search warrant because being the first to arrive at the office on a daily basis affords no leeway for even a fifteen-minute delayed entrance, never mind a four-hour interruption.

“Where were you? What happened?” Remaining cool while taking my seat and turning my computer on, I purposely vocalize while looking downwards that my bride needed medical attention but quickly added that she was fine, assuming this would thwart off follow up inquiries. Looks of disbelief followed, along with a more direct assertion- “you would not use your wife as an excuse for an interview, now, would you?” Feinting shock, while immediately returning a volley of denial, but still not making eye contact, (my version of having your “fingers crossed” while not being totally honest) as I purposely printed out a document so I could excuse myself through the “football huddle” in the hopes that disappearing would encourage each individual to “return to the salt mines.”

About a week later I was informed that I was the hired candidate and began my stint at MBIA in April 1999. Always assuming that I would be the “lifer” at S&P, this was the biggest undertaking of my career, because another personal trait engrained is avoidance of transformation. Ever since I was a kid, if there was a situation where the bond was cemented with love, leaving was never a choice but I realized after choosing MBIA as a destination, it opened my world to more devotion. Of course, I have to thank Sal for the opportunity and later on I was informed that Sandy provided an endorsement amongst the interviewers.

Adjusting to life in a small pond was complicated because each fish can be seen inside a ten-gallon tank and even if one had the ability to be a leafy sea dragon who can camouflage itself, eventually the net would come down to swoop you up. Navigating your way through the sharks was a necessary skill for survival because each new entrant into that fishbowl is greeted with suspicion and to change the metaphor for a second, it is like when you enter a friend’s home, their dog is sniffing to determine fear. And if there is trepidation, the barking and potential biting begins. Sandy never displayed any fear, no matter what room he entered. I would watch in awe as any question directed, he batted it back, and if a spike was ever needed, the interrogator would not even realize the burn until the next requestor filled the air with their one prepared question, hoping that no one else asked first because unlike Sandy, they were not as quick on their feet, as their title would have you to believe. 

Each one of my colleagues during my early days at MBIA were extremely helpful but more importantly they are “family” as we still make time to see each other, even from afar, more than two decades later. Knowing that I could never replicate but I did seek out the guidance to emulate certain qualities and each time he cleared his calendar to assist. Invitations to join in on conversations with Kutak Rock were steered by him, while I tried to absorb. Many times, there was less verbal instruction but more observational and believe it or not, I think I learned more by listening as Sandy had this innate ability to negotiate, where everyone walked away from the table satisfied.

The more time spent with each other proved to be fruitful as I began to see how “well-rounded” he was, and his appreciation of sports came as a huge surprise. There were endless “spirited” conversations due to his love of the New York Giants team, while I have always “bled green” as a Jets fan. He would add salt to the wound because I believe his second favorite football squad was the Miami Dolphins, my arch nemesis. Before long, I felt like I had known his wife, children, and the rest of the family because that was the main affection spoken about more than any other topic, as our friendship developed.

As Paul, Ed, Sal, Sandy, and I entered the Town Hall in New York City on that chilly night on Thurs. January 11, 2001, to witness the legends from Rockford, IL – Cheap Trick- I suddenly became disheartened because the band was not allowed to “plug in.” Not only was I stunned that Sandy attended but he was the one who came over to me and said that the night was going to be terrific, even on an acoustic basis. From the third row, by the time they played one of my favorites, “Lookout,” I had forgotten why I was upset. And when they performed their cover of “California Man,” I knew I was going to walk away happy. I will never forget that Sandy was rocking out with us.

Little by little, the landscape of the MBIA team changed dramatically as my heart was breaking that things could not remain the same, but I had to be an adult, even though throughout my life, the yearning to be in a world of a child where pain was shielded or minimal, has been far more appealing. And then in 2004, when mom passed, I walked around in a daze for a long time. Couple this with an edict from upper management that a “white paper” would be the only way to re-enter the market, I knew the end was near. (A “white paper,” who do they think I am… Sandy?).  By 2005, I believe I was the only one left as I gravitated towards the “gym-rats,” who are also still treasured family members, as the best part of the day occurred from 6:00 a.m. through 9:00 a.m. by participating in Dave’s boot camp and Chris’s spin classes, every other day.

Sadly, the end of the MBIA journey came in June of that year as I headed back to S&P for round two and I lost touch with him but every once in a while, there were exchanged emails or scattered phone calls to catch up in our busy schedules.

After purchasing the New York Times on that 2007 morning from the Brewster General Store on the Cape, I tossed it on the passenger seat to make the drive to Orleans for a Dunkin’ coffee as part of my ritual for our annual summer trek. Returning to our rental at Ocean Edge, I quietly open the door as my bride and the kids are sleeping upstairs. Sitting at the table, my OCD kicks in because I have to have the newspaper in alphabetical order and will not read it until section D is moved behind C. As I lift that part of the Times up, I see a large headline on the Business segment that says something like, “S&P downgrades hundreds of Residential Mortgage-Backed transactions.” When I returned from vacation the following week, the normal chaos had elevated to a level that I hope I never witness again. Our group went from rating three hundred transactions on a monthly basis to zero, just like that. And despite assurances that our jobs were safe, all of us knew the end would eventually come for the majority. When I was informed that I was part of that “massive layoff” in May 2008, it hit me like a brickhouse falling all over my body and when the dust cleared, I remained in a fetal position for about thirty-six hours.

Three months later, as I was making my way to the car after a Sunday afternoon softball game, my cell phone rings and guess who it was. Yes, that’s right, Sandy. “Errol, I heard that you lost your job, are you currently working?” For anyone who has ever been in the position of attempting to re-board the bus again to be a productive citizen, you know these types of actions are far and few between. When I respond that I did not, he said to come to his Mid-town office the next day. I know that was the first instant I had smiled in a long time. For the next three months, he made sure that I had a paycheck coming in the door and a roof over my head. As I sit here writing about it, the tears are flowing because it moved me more than words could ever express.

As life gets in the way, we lose touch with those who have made a profound impact on our lives and before you know it, college graduations, offspring marriages, and becoming grandparents are here before the realization that those connections need a spark. Feeling melancholy during last year’s holiday season, I decided to throw doubt into the wind and reach out to a person that I considered a dear friend. I took a chance by calling the number in my cell and as it started to ring, immediate sounds of text messages peppered the phone as I took it from my ear to see who was sending them. Thinking it was a coincidence, my heart dropped to the floor as I read the following- “I’m sorry, I have ALS and can’t speak.”

Trying to compose myself, I knew I had to respond immediately instead of my initial reaction to throw my phone as far as I could while running away and screaming out in pain- “why?!”  His response was that it was so cool that I reached out to him, that made me cry more. Fluttered, I asked if I could come to see him, but he replied that he was really busy and I took it as before, Sandy was always doing something, especially with his family. Not wanting to push or overstep my boundaries, I asked for him to text when he was ready.  Two months go by, and I send him my blog about the Superbowl. Later that day he gave a thumbs up, so I sent the “love and marriage” post the following week, seeking interaction.

Fast forward to last Monday Aug. 7^th, I hear my phone ping and I see that it is Ed. Opening up the message I see “Obituaries in Rochester, NY” along with a picture of my friend. Before I fell on the couch crying, I thanked Ed for sending it to me. As the numerous texts and emails flowed between the MBIA family, I did not know what to say. As I read the NY Times article, I did not realize he fought this since 2019, while raising hundreds of thousands of dollars to help find a cure. This made sense to me because if there was one thing that Sandy did was fight as hard as he could but always with a smile, while he would tell you not to worry about him. It took me about forty-eight hours to post a condolence on his legacy page. I tried to find the right words to profess my broken heart for his wife and children. Sandy, please forgive me for not staying connected like I should have. Folks, I know that our lives are busy but please take the time to reach out to those who you have not heard from in years. This week’s setlist is dedicated to the life of Sandy Goldstein, a husband, a father, a brother, and a friend. Always a gentleman, your kindness was infectious, and you lit up any room that you entered. Your professionalism and integrity were beyond reproach. I am forever grateful to have crossed paths with you in this lifetime and until we meet again. Godspeed. (Enjoy!)

1— “Where Do I Go” by Collective Soul— “Where do I go… where do I go… where do I go… without you…” This was the first song I thought of because I can imagine that there are so many members of his family and friends that are asking the same question. Sandy was a cheerleader for his son and daughter as he commented on every post that his son did for the Giants on the Bleacher Report. And he was known as “Coach Sandy” assisting in making his daughter a premier soccer goalie. “Where do I go… where do I go… without your heart…”

2— “I’ll Be Missing You” by Puff Daddy & Faith Evans— Written for his “brother,” Biggie Smalls, a.k.a. The Notorious B.I.G., the lyrics depict the pain of losing his best friend. The lyrics that I feel are apropos are the following- “… it’s kind of hard with you not around…know you in heaven smiling down… watching us while we pray for you… every day we pray for you… till the day we meet again… in my heart is where Ill keep you, friend… memories give me the strength I need to proceed….” Sandy, I wish I could turn back the hands of time but please know that I appreciated all the occasions we spent together, especially in 2008.

3— “Afterimage”—by Rush– This appears on “Grace Under Pressure” and is dedicated to the band’s friend, Robbie Whelan, who lost his life in a car accident in 1983. He had worked as an assistant on “Moving Pictures” and “Signals.” The lyrics deal with the grief of losing a friend and how you carry on without them. Unfortunately, in life, we all encounter this tragedy, and in the beginning, it is hard to carry on but those who have left us behind want us to move forward and think of the happy times spent with them. It is hard to fathom a world without your loved one and the one thing that I have discovered is to keep on talking about how much they meant to you.

4— “So Far Away”—by Avenged Sevenfold– This song rips my heart apart because I never had the chance to say goodbye to a friend, like the bandmates of Jimmy Sullivan, who passed away in 2009. The video to this tune is almost unbearable as you will be bawling in no time. “… How do I live without the ones I love?… Time still turns the pages of the book it’s burned… place and time always on my mind… I have so much to say but you’re so far away…”  

5— “Lance’s Song”— by Zac Brown Band- The song is dedicated to Lance Tilton, a drummer, who played gigs with the Zac Brown Band and passed away suddenly in a car crash in 2010. “… they don’t know… what they got… until it is gone… like it or not… you live on love… you try to do what is right…” If there is one thing that I remember the most about Sandy is that he always tried to do the right thing and believe me, his intellect could have been used the wrong way, but he had too much integrity. “… And when the thunder comes… you can hear his kick drum in the sky… feel the rain… fall from our eyes…”

6— “Empty Garden”- by Elton John– “… what happened here… as the New York sunset disappeared… I found an empty garden… among the flagstones there… who lived here… he must have been a gardener that cared a lot… who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop… and now it all looks strange… it’s funny how one insect… can damage… so much grain…” I will never forget the first time I put this song on in 1982, the tears flowed like a faucet. Can’t you come out to play?

7— “For a Dancer”- by Jackson Browne –Jackson wrote this song after his friend passed away from a house fire and two years later, his wife passed as the tune took on a whole new meaning for him. “… and I can’t help feeling stupid standing ‘round… crying as they ease you down… cause I know that you’d rather we were dancin’… dancing our sorrow away…”

8— “Bird Song”- by Grateful Dead –Written as a tribute to Janis Joplin, who the Dead had performed with several times, the song says that anyone who could sing so beautifully, has to be happy on the other side. I do not know what is happening, maybe it is my oldest, or John, or Hilary but I can listen to the Dead better these days than when I was a youngster. And I am assuming this is Jerry on acoustic guitar because the solo is as sweet as Janis’s voice. Not saying I will jump on the train like Mr. Mayer but this mellow tune actually does help with the pain of losing a friend.  

9— “Light Years”- by Pearl Jam– This tune is about losing a friend without the chance of saying goodbye. Folks, I regret not trying to force a visit because I thought I would be intruding or overstepping my bounds, and now I am full of regret. “… And whenever you’ve gone… And wherever we might go… It don’t seem fair… Today just disappeared… your light’s reflected now… reflected from afar… we were but stones… your light made us stars…”

10— “Wave Goodbye”- by Chris Cornell-Chris wrote this tune for his friend, Jeff Buckley, and no matter how hard he tried, the words could not flow, so he decided to wave goodbye. But in actuality, the lyrics describe the pain that addresses missing that someone special. After Mr. Cornell passed, it took on a whole new meaning for me and despite the haunting feel, I just cannot turn it off.

11— “Stars”- by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals-What a stunning tribute (and song) to a friend of Grace, and folks, I apologize for the melancholy feel to this setlist, but I need to let it out. This tune will bring tears to your eyes in part because of her beautiful vocals as well as the chorus- “… I can’t look at the stars… they make me wonder where you are… stars, up on heaven’s boulevard… and if I know you at all, I know you’ve gone too far, so I, I can’t look at the stars…”  

12— “No One But You (Only the Good Die Young)”- by Queen-This could be the best song that Brian May and Roger Taylor have ever sung. This is their tribute to Freddie Mercury, who passed away at the extremely youthful age of forty-five. The video is absolutely breathtaking and when Brian sings the following words at the 2:45 mark, I just lose it- “… and now the party must be over… I guess we’ll never understand… the sense of your leaving… was in the way it was planned… and so we grace another table… and raise our glasses one more time… there’s a face at the window… and I ain’t never, never saying goodbye…” Can you imagine if Freddie were still with us today?

13— “Life Without You”- by Stevie Ray Vaughn & Double Trouble– Written for the loss of his close friend, Charley Wirz, the lyrics depict the grief of losing him but also to go ahead because there were angels waiting for him. Not only does Stevie sing, but his guitar playing will also bring tears to the eyes because if there was anyone who could make a guitar sing, it had to be Stevie. Beyond staggering.

14— “Who Knew” by Pink– Pink is touring it up and taking over the world with her live shows where I have not seen one single criticism of her appearances. Not surprisingly, she is tearing it up and this tune is about a close friend, who was suddenly taken from her world, and you can feel the hurt despite this being an “up-tempo” tune.

15— “Train in Vain (Stand By Me)”- by The Clash-This was one of Sandy’s favorite bands of all-time and who did not own “London Calling” back in 1979. Thanks to my uncle who introduced me to the Clash when I was just a “pup” at fourteen years old when this legendary album was released. “… Now I got a job but it don’t pay… I need new clothes… I need somewhere to stay…” You know I am getting old when I say- “they” don’t make music like this anymore. And they don’t make them like Sandy, either.   

16— “All Those Years”- by Cheap Trick– I know I have utilized this tune on another playlist, but I feel this is apropos. Yes, I know it is most likely a love song but the lyrics that hit close to home are the following “… I close my eyes… I can see your face every time… how can I say to you… I’ll do anything you want me to?” I wish I could have found a cure; I wish I could have taken away any pain… from him as well as his family. Now whenever I hear a Cheap Trick song, I will remember that night in 2001 and think of Sandy.

17— “Etta’s Tune”- by Roseann Cash– Wow, I cannot even begin to describe this song because of its beauty. After her father’s death, one of the bandmates, Etta Grant (and her husband), became like foster parents and when she passed, Roseann dedicated this tune to her. Beyond breathtaking.

18— “Home”- by Foo Fighters-I know I did my top ten Foo Fighter songs but if I redid it now, this could possibly be my number one and yes, I may have used this song in the past, but I cannot help it, this tune is beyond exquisite. “… People I’ve loved, I have no regrets… some I remember, some I forget… some of them living, some of them dead… And all I want… is to be home…” Sandy, I pray that you are now at peace.    

19— “To Where You Are”- by Josh Groban-This could possibly be the most heart-breaking song in the history of music. I apologize to Marla and her family if this is too sad. I can picture her singing this to her Sandy. “… I cherish all you gave me every day… cause you are my forever love… watching me from up above… and I believe that angels breathe… and that love will live on and never leave…” Sandy, you are an amazing person, and you are sorely missed. Until we meet again.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7z8ZZcGBvNwiEOfQSLEhV8?si=552710fc049f44a3

Close Call

“Where is your fat friend?… Well, you can let him know that we are looking for him.”

Bravado. He was not the only one to possess this highly perilous attribute, after all he is not the only person cultivated in the melting pot where this dangerous “testosterone-laden” pastime has been part of Brooklyn New York’s heredity for generations, which unfortunately usually breeds an alternate meaning to “blood brothers.” Couple this with marking your territory just like a wolf in the wild, as well as youthful immaturity, will eventually lead to close calls.

Gathering at “Izzie’s” each day and night is a tradition that I recognize was not serving us well as “productive citizens,” but during your teenage years, hanging out with your friends was everything. Besides maybe purchasing gum or a beverage, Izzy & Sonia recognized that they needed a draw to keep us kids coming back to their store, while the adult customers purchased groceries on credit and would “pay-up” at the end of each month. (Izzy was a nice man). During the 1980’s I was part of the historical wave of participating in the “Arcade game” frenzy as we placed endless quarters to play such classics as “Asteroids,” “Ms. Pac Man,” “Donkey Kong,” “Galaga,” and the beyond addictive, “Centipede.” This was the place where our day would start and if you were the first one there, well those twenty-five cent coins that were stacked neatly on the dresser drawer, were utilized for the newest entrant, “Pole Position,” while waiting for the rest of the gang to determine what was on the docket.

The 48th street corner entertainment was provided by the boisterous Johnny-Boy as he held court upon arrival; legend had it that he could eat thirty “White Castle cheeseburgers” in one sitting, along with a “sixty-four ounce” bottle of Pepsi. “EUGENE” became his signature as Joe created this moniker and each time upon seeing him would say “… my name is uhhh, uhhh, YOU GENE… I’m a cool dude in a loose mood…” taken from the unknown classic disco tune “Eugene” by “Crazy Joe and the Variable Speed Band,” which was co-written by none other than Ace Frehley. Whenever Eugene was around, something crazy was bound to happen.

On one bright sunny afternoon, Johnny pestered Eleanor to the brink of madness whereby having enough, she informed the entire corner that once a patrol car came around, Eugene was to be in a world of trouble. Sure enough, a vehicle from the “sixty-sixth” precinct turns right to head down forty-eighth as she jumps in front of the police officers. None of us could hear what was being said but our eyes could see all the gesturing in his direction at a frantic pace. Law enforcement officials emerge from each door while affixing their “crowns,” while the rest of us stood there silent, bracing for what we assumed to be punishment for the long-time neighborhood “troublemaker.”

Even Eugene appeared nervous but then we all noticed that they were female, and that smirk came rushing back as he quickly turned to us and said, “I got this.” If there is one thing that Johnny can do, it is the ability to speak to anyone on the planet. After a night of having two “woodpecker shines,” a trip to the diner early Saturday morning before the sun came up, was always part of the “night out.” Before I could blink, Johnny would be sitting with a bunch of girls while wondering why I was standing next to the manager as he was still looking for an empty table for us.

Immediately, he apologizes to Eleanor while going into his act. We all watch in amazement because before long the two officers are smiling and casually feinting concern while exclaiming, which we all heard, that if there was a “next time,” they would have no choice but to take him in. As they drove away, he grinned at Eleanor as she stormed back home.   

On this other occasion, there is an unfamiliar car with tinted windows that are lowered just enough to only see a baseball cap with sunglasses as these items, along with the dark vehicle, cast a shadow on an otherwise sunny day. Slowly driving through the green light on Eighth Avenue, one can tell that the driver is staring us down and just like a tea pot, Johnny spouts off. Using the booming voice and bravado that I discussed, he walks towards the stranger while one of us tells him to back off. Realizing that there were at least eight of us, it looked as if the driver took a photo of him (think of when Jeannie would “blink”) and deliberately fades to the next block. Acting like Mike Tyson, who back then was the most feared boxer alive, Eugene declares that his status is still undefeated. I looked at him and said – “Eug, that guy was not scared, more like he was memorizing what you looked like.”

The “Izzy” crowd disburses as I stayed with the two “Joe’s” and Flip to engage in a game of street hockey but since that was not my forte, I watched in amazement as the two “young in’s” were peppering the muscular Joe with hard shots as the screams of either “kick save and a beaut” or “Score!!!” filled the air. After playing, Flip heads up to his house, closer to Seventh Avenue, while we lean against a car in the street talking to each other. Out of the corner of my eye, I see this van approaching us but instead of driving down the “middle of the street,” it is creeping alongside the parked cars, almost like it was going to parallel park, but I could see there were no spots. We all stop talking as the front end of the van is near our legs. And without warning the sliding door opens quickly as “masked bandits” surround all three of us with baseball bats, chains, and knives. The leader asks the aforementioned question as we inform him that his whereabouts are unknown.

I thought it was going to be my last moment on earth, but the “gang” left us knowing that the message was delivered. Talk about a close call? Once the van was out of sight after turning right on Ninth Avenue, I blazed towards forty-seventh to inform Johnny, who was at Vera’s house, that those guys were seeking him out. Like many other instances, the late Davey saved his cousin for the “umpteenth time.” Johnny teetered on the path of “real trouble” but at the end of the day has a huge heart and most of all, has “grown up.”

Years later, Cheesy was amongst the first of the Izzy corner, that I recall, to take the plunge as he asked Valerie for her hand in marriage. Knowing that the bachelor party was going to be “insane,” I felt comfort in the fact that Joe was attending because we both were the “Richie Cunningham’s” of the group, but unlike myself, his physique was that of a body builder. Being the designated drivers, after a delicious meal and a “few pops,” I knew we were headed to another watering hole in Bay Ridge. The libations flowed as well as the endless stories, which filled the pub with a raucous laughter, but everyone could tell there was not going to be any trouble. Saturday was two hours old, and I thought the diner was the next stop but of course, what is a bachelor party without a visit to a “gentlemen’s club?”

Now for those raised outside of New York, please know that the only “respectable establishments” are located in Manhattan and by this time, they were closed. And I bet anyone can guess that attending one of these places near a “loading doc” where empty buildings were the normal back then, along with the only remaining trolly tracks in the ground, that made the car ride a bit bumpy; was not the place to be. Afterall the old adage of “nothing good happens after two A.M.” was about to come to fruition.

Walking in, we are greeted by another door to open as I wonder why there is a “vestibule” within the entrance (think of your local Dunkin’ Donuts with that makeshift entrance before the real door). Stepping into this extremely dark place with the only visible lights being down near knee level as the colored bulbs highlighted two small stages that were immediately to the left and right. Round tables, littered with the remnants of spilled beer were mostly empty except for the “usuals” who typically are asked to leave once the four o’clock bell is rung. The wooden bar runs like a long rectangular train that extends across both sides with two servers. Right away, I knew we were “not in Kansas anymore.” Fear escalated my paranoia to its most extreme level as persuasion to avoid another round was met with laughter.

The “groom to be” by this time could hardly stand as each step looked like it was going to be a “face fall.” Joe and I are sitting in the middle on stools scouring the room like seasoned detectives. Pointing towards Cheesy I implore one of the guys to follow him as he stumbled towards the stage on the left. Instead of gently placing, I can see his thumb twist with a vengeance as the face of the woman is suddenly full of shock and then full-blown anger that I had never witnessed before. While the music is blaring, she is picking up her stuff off the stage and jumps down while pointing her finger at Cheesy. Obviously, I could not hear what was being said but I knew we were about to be in a world of trouble.

I quickly jump off my seat and yell into Joe’s ear that we need to leave immediately, because of what just transpired. Since the group was spread out on both sides of the club, corralling all at the same time proved to be impossible. And then it happens. Three “biker dudes” who were all at least “six feet two” stood up, with one of them swiping his right hand under the throat as the DJ kills the music. Immediately the ambiance is no longer that of depravity but more like a funeral… ours. These giants start walking towards us as the only noise is that of the chairs they tossed aside like pillows as they crashed to the floor. They were inches away from Cheesy when all of a sudden, someone yells out something in Spanish. Turns out there was a guy from the neighborhood that knew both sides. Standing in the middle of these three monsters, the brokering of a deal is being negotiated, while nobody else moves. Taking a longer time than when officials on the field need the New York office to decide the outcome of a play, I am literally shaking because it was the scariest moment of my life, besides being held up at gun point as a paperboy.

The bilingual arbitrator slowly walks away and approaches our group. “They will let you leave unharmed as long as each one of you line up in single file with your hands up while exiting the place.” At that moment I felt like Oz had granted our wishes despite one of us having no brain, while being grateful that they had a heart. As soon as we felt the blacktop of the parking lot, of course, the bravado comes roaring back as some now think it is time to be tough and to “head back in to mess those guys up.” Grabbing Cheesy by the head, we throw him into the back seat and slam the door shut, never to return to a place called “Mom’s.” I for one did not feel at home. This was one of the closest calls ever.   

This week’s playlist will consist of the theme of close calls, whether an actual song was recorded to depict the scene or tunes from a band where a member has experienced some life altering moment. (Enjoy!)

1— “Fade to Black” by Metallica— Yesterday marked the thirty-first anniversary where one of the scariest nightmares’ unfortunately came true for James Hetfield, lead singer of Metallica, where he became disoriented at a stop in Montreal, Canada, during the playing of this song and forgot where to stand. James stepped into a twelve-foot-high torch of fire from a pyrotechnical instrument underneath his feet. From where his buddy Lars was sitting behind the drum kit, it looked as if he was “completely engulfed” by flames burning with 3200-degree heat (used to propel rockets). Jason saw his skin coming off and the one saving grace was that James was wearing a “double neck” guitar, which took on a major portion of the flames. But in the end, Mr. Hetfield suffered second-degree burns on the back of his left hand as well as some parts of his arms. This close call almost ended his life. Last Friday night, arriving in the U.S. at MetLife Stadium for their “72 Seasons” massive tour, James basked in the adoration of the brethren as he sung this classic and after it ended, he said “I still love that song.” So do we, James!

2— “Kickstart My Heart” by Motley Crue— By now you have all heard the story? Nikki Sixx’s heart stopped after a night of depravity back in 1987, just a few days before Christmas but a double dose of adrenaline plunged into his chest by paramedics, brought him back to life. It is a fantastic tune and we all have heard it a thousand times, so for the next song, I decided to give a double dose of Nikki.

3— “Heart Failure”—by Sixx A.M.– Picking up years later when Frank Feranna Jr. decided to narrate his life through book and song, with his own band, the “Heroin Diaries” is an astounding depiction of his life experiences, and it is amazing that he was able to have a second chance after reviving his heart. Folks, this band (now defunct) deserves your perusal through their impressive catalog, and you can start with the “Diaries” as the musicianship is tight. And for me, the highlight are the vocals of James Michael, this man can sing. “… I’m face down on the tracks… the train is coming fast… and you’re right there waiting… It’s not the first time… And this won’t be the last… that my heart is failing…” Crank this way up!

4— “Ordinary Man”—by Ozzy Osbourne (feat. Elton John)– If I asked you to name one person who has “close calls,” I am thinking that Ozzy’s name would be your initial reaction, right? First let me point out that this is one of the most beautiful songs ever created, not just Ozzy’s, I can listen to this track all day long. Put on a good pair of headphones and squeeze in as hard as you can so none of the juices slip out. Listen intently to everything that is going on, especially the background vocals. One of his most memorable stories is when Sabbath was touring with a band by the name of Van Halen, who were the openers. Ozzy and Diamond Dave (imagine that duo together?) were “partying hard” and at some point, Mr. Roth leaves Ozzy to himself. For the next “twenty-four” hours Ozzy went missing and everyone assumed the worst. Turns out the Prince of Darkness was in the wrong hotel room, sleeping it off.

5— “Nightrain”— by Guns & Roses- Just the name of the band paints a picture of a close call, no? Slash was actually with Nikki Sixx as the night started off but fell off at some point, well because he might have been a little tied over himself. Folks, I was the cheerleader for Guns when they first exploded onto the scene (like no other band in the history of music, in my opinion) and I believe this is where my mom thought I was going down the wrong path with this “heavy stuff.” I always forget when I am with “normal people” that I cannot put this type of music on because the reactions are priceless, case in point- when I first started working at S&P, we had a Sunday morning softball game amongst the whole team, including Earnings & Corp Records. After the game, I threw this cassette on while opening all the windows in my car and when this tune came on, only the third song on this masterpiece, everyone looked at me like I had “cooties.” I sheepishly turned it off and after five minutes conversations flowed again. Whew. Guns will be at MetLife next Tuesday and I am assuming this will make the setlist.  

6— “I Wanna Know Why”- by Aerosmith– Talk about debauchery? After releasing this “drug induced” album (that sits atop my favorite, which tells you something?) in 1977, the first end of Aerosmith was on the horizon as each member had their own close calls. The running joke with me is that I have stated many times on this page that “nine people own Draw the Line” and one of those nine, is me. I bought this body of work as a pre-teen based on the cover of the album. This song has it all, in my opinion, an addictive (wrong word, right?) groove that feels like a fast blues song and a saxophone, c’mon give it a chance. Somewhat related, as I watched Metallica for two nights this past weekend, I was next to these two dudes and the conversation is of course related to concerts, etc. So, after my numerous “stories” they were stunned that I graciously rejected their “funny cigarette” and informing them that I never even tried. “Get out of here, with all that you just told us and the music you listen to?!”  LOL. By the way, Run DMC revived Aerosmith’s career.

7— “Times Like These”- by Five Finger Death Punch –Okay after seeing them open for Metallica this past Sunday, I have now “entered their room” and will begin my journey. This is why discovering music is one of the best things in life, no matter what genre or from what era, if it “speaks to you,” then it is a beautiful thing. Now, I had to do some searching because much of their catalog is filled with “explicit” lyrics, but this is manageable. Oh, by the way, despite not knowing the music, it is hard to not know about Ivan Moody, their “calming presence” lead vocalist, and even I know that he has had more than a few close calls.

8— “Cabin Down Below”- by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers –After Kurt Cobain’s untimely passing, Dave Grohl was at a crossroad in his career and to help him get over Cobain’s death, Mr. Petty asked Dave if he would like to sit in on the drums during one of their tours. The band welcomed Dave with open arms and after a handful of shows, Tom asked him to join the Heartbreakers. Dave thought about it but felt like there was music within him that needed an audience, welcome the Foo Fighters. Talk about a close call, imagine a world without the Foo’s? (With no offense to Tom & the Heartbreakers).

9— “Supernaut”- by Black Sabbath– Literally the last day at his job at a steel plant, equipment landed on top of Tony Iommi’s fingers and severed the tips of them clean off. Determined to not let this injury stop him from becoming one of the most prolific heavy metal guitarists of all-time, Tony tuned his guitar to levels that no one seemed to have done prior, building his tone while expanding to levels that is extremely identifiable. Now that was a close call.

10— “Great King Rat”- by Queen-I remember Saturday July 13, 1985, like it was yesterday as it was a beautiful sunny day to either go to Coney Island or play ball all day long. But I remained indoors the entire day and night to watch the historic “Live Aid” concert for the starving children in Africa. And believe it or not, Queen almost turned down the offer from Bob Geldoff, but at the last minute decided to accept and as everyone knows they absolutely nailed it as some consider it the highlight performance of the entire show. I am still waiting to hear who was better.  

11— “Come Back… Be Here (Taylor’s version)”- by Taylor Swift-I just recently found out that Taylor is re-recording all of her albums under her own label because of a disagreement with the prior record company and not surprisingly it appears that she will win out in the end. So, follow me, that situation could have been a close call for many other artists, but not for Taylor.  We are all the beneficiaries of her massive talents.  

12— “Undone”- by Collective Soul-This could be considered one of the biggest closest calls ever after their initial manager froze their assets and forced Ed Roland to move back in with his parents during the mid-1990’s. After scoring five hit singles and selling over 6 million, their manager pulled the plug from them, leaving the band with nothing, while forcing a recording of “Disciplined Breakdown” in a log cabin. Guess who won the war? In 2004, the band left Atlantic Records and formed El Music Group. This is from the eleventh studio album- “Vibrating”- and just like fine wine, this band gets better with age. There is not a bad song on the album. I, for one, am glad they survived their close call.

13— “Fine Line”- by Little Big Town– Close call and fine line? I feel it can mean the same thing in certain situations, so I am going to go with it. I know I had the “Tesla” streak ended two posts ago but am wondering if Little Big Town is now the artist that I have continually added to these posts. Without a doubt, this foursome ranks up in my personal ten as the best singers of all-time.  Taken from “A Place to Land” this up-tempo piece kicks off this stellar album. Karen Fairchild is in the upper echelon of singers. Karen and Jimi (Westbrook) kept their nuptials a secret for two months when they married in May 2006. They are still going strong with their marriage and with the band.

14— “Live to Tell” by Madonna-Madonna was part of a group called the “Breakfast Club,” but decided to leave the band, along with drummer Stephen Bray, to form Emmy and the Emmys. Both groups failed to “make it big,” and Madonna was at a crossroad because these disappointments could have deterred but she promoted herself. And the rest is history. Apparently, there will be an announcement for the rescheduling of “The Celebration Tour” for which I had a ticket for the MSG show on August 23. I am looking forward to the notice.

15— “In the Garden”- by Elvis Presley-Imagine that Elvis was kicked out of the Grand Ole Opry in 1954 while being told to stick to his day job as a truck driver. This could have been a close call for Elvis, but he continued forward and has to be considered one of the greatest singers this world has ever known. I decided to go with a gospel tune because I believe it highlights the beauty, tranquility, and the power behind his vocals. As a kid growing up in an “all Elvis” house, I loved it best when Dad would play his gospel albums. Makes me drift off into another world.

16— “Fine Line”- by Harry Styles-Yes there can be a close call with the love in your life and I think Harry is talking about a fine line with a relationship. The more I listen to his music, the deeper I fall into appreciation, and I think this was the perfect song to end his sophomore effort because it incorporates a majestic ending with strings, horns as well as astounding backing vocals. Sometimes in life we encounter situations where we are thankful that it is just a close call, although when I look back at the stories mentioned above, there is no laughing about it even now because of the extreme severity of what transpired. I was grateful and lucky to survive, no exaggeration.

(P.S. I added the song that started the legend known as “Eugene”… the video is even better, go explore)

Mom

Mom would have turned seventy-eight today and I usually never publicly state a woman’s age, just ask the “Central group” at S&P Global whereby at each of our morning huddles I would have these silly tidbits, or “end notes,” designed to erase the prior mundane information that included birthdays for famous entertainers, scholars, or other notables. And if I announced a female date of birth, Maureen (otherwise known to everyone as “Mo”) would feverishly look on the web to blurt out how many years that person had been on the planet. Anyway, mom passed at my current age which is twenty years lower than what she would have celebrated with us today, but we are still in contact, so the wish for a happy birthday will always come on this day.

Jane and Carol. They were the dynamic duo before Adam West and Burt Ward. Whenever they were together there was an adventure because these sisters like to push the boundaries and the assumption was that my mother was the saint, while all the blame typically fell on my aunt. During that nearly one-year period in the early 1970’s where we moved overnight to upstate New York; Jane, who was a “Brooklyn girl,” would get lonely in Otisville (population “fifteen” – I exaggerate but you get the picture) and call for Carol to come up for a weekend or two. Back then, the Port Authority buses would operate on a “morning/night” schedule, meaning there was one bus that headed back to Manhattan early in “the A.M.” and there would not be another until later on in the early evening. Many times, my mother would set all the clocks in the house back one hour so she would miss the appointment in the morning. Other moments, Carol would typically leave on Monday morning when it was just five hours old because there was no such thing as “work from home” in those days. During this one weekend visit in the winter just as she was ready to board the bus to start the new workweek, out of nowhere my mother jumped on her back while tackling her onto the high pile of snow and sat on Carol while imploring her to wave goodbye to the nice driver. “Call your boss and tell him you are sick today, there is too much snow and nothing to do, so you are staying one more day!”

Mom and dad slept overnight in our house so as to avoid the morning rush because if you live in Staten Island, the traffic now begins before “five a.m.” and lasts until at least “ten.” (Yes, in the Tri-State area the “rush hour” equals five hours). Making herself at home, Jane looks at the Keurig machine with curiosity, while feverishly searching for the percolator so she can have her cup of Joe the old-fashioned way and of course, before my father. Bringing her portable radio because prior visits revealed nothing in our home with a dial and there was no other way to start the day than with “1010 WINS.” While approaching the stove to make my dad breakfast, there is bewilderment as there is a flat surface only with no ducts for an open flame to swallow up her pot filled with a little water to boil those eggs. She turns the knobs and realizes the beaming red circle will eventually do the job but is not impressed that homes in the Nutmeg state are mainly run by electricity.

After eating, Jane gets ready for the graduation by wearing her best stylish pantsuit from a closet full of versatile suit separates, which were purchased after tossing aside the walker for a “bionic” leg because fortitude enables individuality. Gone was the pain as the surgery had given new life to a grandmother who wanted to see every special event that her grandchildren achieved. Emerging from downstairs, I was struck by her beauty as she began preparing a bacon/egg/cheese for my youngest and French toast for her eldest grandkid with no meat as she knew his aversion to pork. When my bride enters the kitchen, she lets Jane know that she looks fabulous and thanks her for crafting meals for her boys.

As we pile into the minivan, grandpa was gracious enough to head to the last row of seats to let his grandson, saddled with a cap & gown, sit in the middle row, next to his “Ma.” When we arrive for the ceremony, my mother is perplexed about why we are entering a church for graduation. Before she can say anything, I put my pointer finger across my lips as the nail touches my nose. I wanted to avoid a potential embarrassing situation because mom has this way of blurting things aloud without realizing those around her. During the baptism for the graduate, my dad and her, left the pew after the final prayer and walked right in front of the Priest. My bride and I were left flabbergasted as we waited out about three full rows before exiting so as to avoid any whispers from the elders of our congregation. This time around there were no grumblings about when to sit, stand, or kneel as both grandparents beamed with pride as they watched our eldest receive his diploma. It is a dream that I have relived over and over in my imagination.

The” dynamic duo” headed to “eighty-sixth street” in Bay Ridge to shop and for those who know the area, one could peruse “hundreds” of stores from fifth to third avenue all the way down to thirty-ninth. Carol did not have her car then, so they decided to board the B-63 after taking the B-11 from Eighth Avenue. As the bus was heading north, all of a sudden, the driver abruptly halted because of a police action. Unbeknownst to all the passengers, they came upon a “shoot-out” where they saw officers kneeling behind parked cars, while returning gun fire to the opposing perpetrators. Everyone on the bus bent over on their seats so as to make it harder for the offenders to not see them. All the passengers feared for their life as the exchange went on for approximately five shots from each side. During the crossfire, the bus driver “opened” the back door, meaning, for those not reared in Brooklyn, there were two lights above the exit, and the red turned into green. The two swing doors did not open automatically as they needed a push from its customer. 

As the quiet fell upon the bus and streets, no one knew what was going on and slowly the two sisters slithered towards the “escape hatch.” Scrunching down on the stairs, just like when one of those massive powerlifters prepare to stand up while the dead weight is behind their backs, the intensity of the tranquility was almost as breathtaking as the turmoil that just occurred; the sisters remained in the crouch position for what seemed like an eternity. And then without warning, my mother shoves Carol from the back screaming for her to find out what was going on as she ends up in the middle of Fifth Avenue trying to roll over from the fall. Luckily, the situation was diffused but Jane did not know that when she heaved her sister out the door.

Gathering at the viewing window at the Staten Island University Hospital to welcome their third grandchild, the tears stroll down my mother’s face as my dad bearhugs her into his chest, as this story has a happy ending, and my dad did not have to endure the endless directives to launch a lawsuit against the same place that was now bringing a bundle of joy into their world. Accidents or mistakes occur in our lifetime where we will never understand why, especially in what is supposed to be the most sterile place, the intensive care unit, and the one thing believed is that there was no intention for an infection.

Mom and Kathy are crying into each other’s arms as their kinship will only strengthen while they both prepare for overindulgence, knowing there is way more fun coming, without all the work of a mother. No, being a grandmother affords less culpability but, on the flipside, experience will lessen the air of irritability. Two years later, my mother’s biosphere, which has been surrounded with testosterone, is turned upside down as her dream come true for a baby girl is realized, so let the doting begin. 

It was the mid 1980’s and Sarah had completed a recent shift in our home of taking care of her niece as well as preparing meals for the rest of us, while also commanding us to assist because she refused to pick up our clothes that lay around the house. This time around it was Carol who was “in charge” and admittedly there were more “takeout orders” from the local Chinese restaurant as she was not the culinary artist, like my mom. Recognizing that Jane was suffering through another “rough patch,” I decided to purchase flowers from the Florist right next door to us, as she recently had come home from another stay at the hospital. As I was looking for a nice bunch of flowers, one of the Scandinavian owners walked over and asked the occasion. I replied- “I want my mother to smile and forget the pain and need an arrangement that pops.” Walking over to the other side of the store, he points to an array of flowers for which I have never seen such colors. And they were extremely bright, with a cup of cheer as well. I picked out what I thought would bring the most merriment to my mother.

When I brought them back upstairs, Carol gasped as she said they were the most beautiful flowers she had ever seen. “Mother’s Day is not until tomorrow, make sure you water them.”  When I used the cold knob of the faucet inside the bathroom, I noticed that it took on a lot of water, so I carefully walked them back to my room and placed it on the window ledge, thinking the next days’ sun would only enhance. The whole house was full of joy as my mother nestled in her favorite kitchen chair as my dad made her a nice cup of coffee. Sitting at the “head of the table” I emerge from my room as her back is to me. Carefully I place the bright flowers tucked inside this plastic thing that looked like a small bathtub right in front of her. As she pulls them closer to her, it tips over and all the water I had put into this “vase” spilled right into her lap. Confused, Carol and I said we were surprised that the flowers had not soaked it up because we had put it in about twelve hours prior. My bride, who was over for a visit, laughingly inquires why I would water artificial flowers as she was the only one that realized they were fake.  

In my dreams, for our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, my bride and I decided to take my parents on a cruise to help us celebrate. I finally convinced Jane that air-travel was safe and that this “vacation” would be as good as the ones that they would attend in the Poconos. (Mom absolutely loved those trips up to Mount Airy Lodge). Despite gripping the handles of the seat just like her first born, mom makes the trek to Miami like a champion as we had an “Airforce” graduate who landed the plane like he was cleaning the ice on a Zamboni. As we board the Carnival, my mother is astounded at the height of the ship and wonders if she made the right move by accepting our invitation. This fear is exemplified when all the passengers reported to their respective “muster stations” where the instructors demonstrate with the life vests as her face told the story of regret.

As the ship is torching through the waves, she looks perplexed as she asks if the boat is moving because there is no shaking of any sort. I retorted that on our Disney Cruise when the kids were young, I played basketball on the top deck with ten people and I felt the same as I did when we chose sides in the well of the Pershing school yard, despite the fact that we could all see the ship moving at a high speed. As we all go to our respective quarters to get ready for dinner, I advise my mother to put on her best pantsuit with the most beautiful jacket because I had a surprise. Leaving my bride alone, I head to the restaurant to make reservations but with a special request and to my surprise the maître d agrees, adding that he would be glad to make the announcement to all the guests at the early seating.

Folks, the one regret I had while making plans for our wedding- remember we finalized the purchase of a house on Friday, moved in on Saturday and after the wedding on Sunday, we headed to our honeymoon for a week at our new home in Ringwood- was that I did not pick out a song to dance with my mother. I know, me, “Mr. Music,” did not select that special tune for us to dance together. Please do not get me wrong, that moment was one of the highlights of my life, despite the terrible song choice made by the “DJ,” but I accepted all culpability. While meeting in front of this majestic place, I smile because my dad is not wearing “white tube socks” with his navy-blue suit. My mother looked sharp in her all-black outfit highlighted with pearls around her neck. Looking through the menu, Jane decides to go with the “filet mignon medium.” After the waiters take all the orders from each table, the person in charge makes an announcement as one of the workers is putting a single chair in the middle of the other side of the room, which is used for dancing.

As I take my mother by the hand she is flabbergasted as the spotlight is on her and that is a place that always made her uncomfortable, while I lead her to the seat. Politely thanking the maître d, I grab the microphone, while bending my right knee on the floor and taking her left hand. I gaze into her eyes and make the following statement- “Mom, I apologize to you for not choosing the appropriate song when you and I danced at our wedding. Would you please forgive me and dance with me again?” With tears falling from her eyes, she stands firmly without any of my assistance and takes my hands as I turn to the disc jockey to play the song, “The Sweetest Gift” by Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and mom’s favorite, Dolly Parton. When Dolly sings her part, the audience cheers as there is not a dry eye in the house-

“She left a smile you can remember.

She’s gone to heaven from heartaches free.

Those walls around you could never change her.

You were her baby and forever will be.

She did not bring to him a parole or pardon.

She brought no silver, no pomp or style.

It was a halo bright sent down from heaven’s light.

The sweetest gift, a mother’s smile.”

That is one of the many things that I miss the most, my mother’s sweet smile. In honor of my mother’s birthday today as well as a cherished friend, Rick, I have decided to create a setlist of songs that remind me of both. (Enjoy!)

1— “Sister Golden Hair” by America— When I look back on pictures of my mom when she was a teenager or early twenties, her hair truly was golden. The lyrics that relate to my mother are the following- “Well I keep on thinkin’ ‘bout you… Sister Golden Hair surprise… And I just can’t live without you… can’t you see it in my eyes?” America just recently celebrated their fiftieth anniversary tour. This is pure gold, and they ruled the world during the 1970’s.

2— “Best of What I Got” by Bad English— “… If you want to put a message through my heart… shoot the arrow in the morning… aay… I’m gonna rise and shine or wake you up… and move you without warning…” The opening lyrics to one of my favorite albums by a mixture of former members of The Babys and Journey that formed this “super group” during the late 1980’s. The debut album will forever remind me of mom because when I purchased my first car, she now had another ride without the worry of taking too much time because I would sit in the car and listen to this body of work inside the tape deck. (Believe it or not, the car had an “eight track player”). As she shopped in any and every store, there I was inside the vehicle blasting away. You see the problem with my hearing began way back when because I have to listen to it loud. It is a shame that John Waite has sworn off a reunion forever. Although he does not remember, I took Johnny to see Whitesnake and Bad English was the opener.

3— “Stayin’ Alive”—by Bee Gees– While she was here on earth, lupus had a grip, but she always found a way to move or dance around to have fun. And she had this style where she would lift her shoulders up & down to compensate for the lack of speed with her feet. But in my dreams, she is giving Travolta a run for his money as her face would light up on the way he danced with this look like she knew she could do it too. Just like everyone else in Brooklyn, she was fascinated with John’s career because she loved “Welcome Back Kotter” as much as we all did. And the whole borough was rooting for him after the legendary movie, “Saturday Night Fever.”

4— “Do Wah Diddy Diddy”—by Manfred Mann– I will forever associate this song with Rick because I think for about two years straight, I thought this was the only song that he ever knew because he would sing the opening lines over and over. Two weeks ago, at the Carnival, I threw this tune on the setlist, and he ran over to Don while singing this in its completion as Don contemplated flicking the grease from his spatula at Rick because he even asked if Rick knew any other song. Good times are always had when Rick is around.  

5— “Let Your Love Flow”— by Bellamy Brothers- My mom loved Country music and even liked the “new stuff” (back in the 1970’s and early 1980’s) with this being one of the most popular songs “back in the day.” I included this tune as well at the Carnival and everyone “of age” was singing and dancing as if there was no one else in the room. “… just let your love flow… like a mountain stream… and let your love grow… with the smallest of dreams… and let your love show… and you’ll know what I mean… it’s the season…”

6— “Last Name”- by Carrie Underwood – Carrie won American Idol the year after mom passed and I truly believe she would have loved Carrie’s catalog. I especially think that she would have appreciated Ms. Underwood’s grit on the way she sings this tune. Carrie can turn up the “moxie” and then take it down to a place where you drift off to that Zen place. Love the way she sings – “Oh no what have I done!”

7— “All I Want”- by Darius Rucker – I don’t know if this is going to upset all of the “Hootie” fans, but I love Darius’s career as a “country” singer far better than him and the rest of the Blowfish. I know for a fact that my mother would have loved the groove in this tune as we would sing along to the chorus- “… you can have every penny…  that I will make from this here song… girl, all I want you to leave me is alone…” This has an old “western” feel, especially the piano as I can picture walking through those waist high swing wooden doors while you stroll to the bar to ask for a “double bourbon,” (Of course, it is neat). Love this song!

8— “One Way Out”- by Allman Brothers – Back in the day Rick took his wife to a concert and informed her that it was the Doobie Brothers. After the first few songs, Nancy looks at him and says, “I don’t think this is the Doobie Brothers?!” During the drum solo- which he claims is still going on- they both looked at each other and knew they were leaving. That pains me because it is impossible to think that anyone would leave a show that had the legendary Gregg Allman, but I acknowledge that it is an “acquired taste,” especially live. I can’t even imagine seeing them with Duane when they put their stamp on this unbelievable cover. Can you visualize Duane jamming with Dickie back and forth? This song probably went on as long as the drum solo.

9— “South City Midnight Lady”- by Doobie Brothers– I still feel so bad that the Doobie Brother’s were not able to attend their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because it was the height of Covid. I hope that most realize that they were finally recognized for their awesome talents. Last Saturday at Doug’s house I was talking to his friend, Eric, about music, and he was like an encyclopedia. The topic of the Doobie’s came up and I stated that it annoyed me that when Michael McDonald joined, all the attention, as well as the direction of their sound changed seemingly overnight. Patrick Simmons, one of the original members, sings this lesser-known classic and the tension was too big between them, so Patrick left the band. I am not knocking Michael, because he is a fantastic singer, but just wish the transition could have been smoother. Rick, this is the Doobie’s! LOL.

10— “You Can’t Sit Down”- by The Dovells-Songs that had a kick was my mother’s specialty as she would put her head down while moving those arms and you could physically see how music transformed her. And this classic has the obligatory “hand claps,” can it get any better? Crank this one up and dance around the room like no one is watching.   

11— “Sweet Little Rock ‘N Roller”- by Rod Stewart-Mom loved Rod Stewart and when he rocks out like this, she would always ask for the volume to be increased. Written by Chuck Berry, Rod’s blistering version is too much to take. If this doesn’t get the juices flowing, then I give up. ‘Nuff said.

12— “Miss You”- by The Rolling Stones-The year was 1978, I had just turned thirteen and this was the first Rolling Stones album I ever purchased. For most of the tracks, mom would say to leave the door open so she could hear. Depending on which version you listen to but she loved the part at the 1:18 mark where Mick (who just turned 80) says- “… hey, what’s the matter man… we’re gonna come around at twelve with some Puerto Rican girls… that’s just dying to meet you… we’re gonna bring a case of wine… hey, let’s go mess and fool around… you know, like we used to…”  This body of work will forever remind me of mom.

13— “Tell it Like It Is”- by Myles Kennedy-In my mind I believe that my mother would appreciate Myles because he can rock out with the best of them and then turn on a dime to bring it down. I have been saying for years that my mom would always “tell it like it is” and if you did not like it, oh well. After a while, she had arrived at the point where one could tell if she liked her gift on her birthday just by the scowl or smile. It was an immediate reaction.

14— “Tuesday Afternoon” by The Moody Blues-Besides Jackson Browne, the only other artist where I witnessed a compact disc in Rick’s car, was the Moody Blues. I know the brethren are upset that they are not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but it probably does not matter to Rick because he will still listen to this band forever. I love this song!

15— “Song for Adam”- by Jackson Browne-Rick has a connection with Jackson Browne and this could be considered his ultimate song ever written, which I believe he wrote as a teenager. My oldest declared that it is astounding that someone that young could craft a tune like this that has a maturity level of an artist that has been around the block for a long time. Folks, Gregg Allman covered this on his final album and Jackson helped out. You cannot go wrong with either version, it is nothing less than spectacular. Happy Birthday Rick!

16— “The Unsung Heroes”- by Kansas-I think my parents were the epitome of what Ronnie Platt is singing about and they were both my heroes, and I will sing their praises from the mountain tops. “I need to tell you… I must convey… the thanks I feel for the people that face every day…” and then later on “… I know it’s hard to go on… when it seems like your strength is all gone… but I’m here to say… deliver some praise… to the unsung heroes of each day…” I have been recently diagnosed with a bit of arthritis in my left toe and talk about pain? When I think that mom carried Lupus on her back for over three decades as well as full blown arthritis across her body, I don’t even know what to say. I am at a loss.

17— “16 Candles”- by Johnny Maestro & The Crests– “Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday Baby, Oh, I love you so!” My dad has been singing this to my mom for years and I know he misses her. I can picture the “dynamic duo” and my dad sitting around the kitchen table singing this word for word. And if you ever saw them, you would have seen what I witnessed for decades, a total transformation into Mr. Maestro. I would say that this tune could be one of the most recognizable songs ever recorded. I know dad would agree that Jane was the “prettiest… loveliest… girl I’ve ever seen.”

18— “Ten Commandments of Love”- by The Moonglows– After my dream dance with my mother again at our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, I would ask the maître d for one more song to watch my dad take my mom’s hand to dance cheek to cheek. And instead of either of them singing it to each other, they just listen to the words while resting their hearts on each other while the rest of us stand without saying a word. 

19— “The Sweetest Gift”- by Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris & Dolly Parton– Yes, the song is about a mother visiting her son who is incarcerated but the lyrics depict a poignant tribute to a matriarch of our family. Mom, I miss you dearly and I am blowing a kiss to you in heaven on your birthday. Godspeed.  

(Spotify did not have the version with all three, so I added the one with just Linda).