School

“School’s out for the summer.”

Probably the most infamous lyrics about school, albeit about its ending instead of its importance and glorification, written by Vincent Furnier, otherwise known as Alice Cooper. Now for a New York City public school child like me, the end of the school year is nowhere in sight because if my memory serves me right, we had to come in until June 30^th, unless that day fell on a Sunday, then the “twenty-eighth” was the final day. And to rub the salt into the wound, I believe there were “half-days” that last week. The lack of air-conditioning wasn’t enough torture, no, making us “walk the plank,” each day just for three or four hours was supposed to build character, right? Even the teachers were bored out of their minds knowing that their suburban counterparts were done by the end of May as there was absolutely no learning going on at all. We, the “SP” classes, now knew what a day in the life meant for those kids who were put in the “eleven through sixteen” tags at the end of either seventh, eighth, or ninth grade sans the daily fighting or running for your life when someone pulled out a weapon. Or being forced to jump out the second-floor window, like Johnny was, when another John wanted company on the day he decided that attending class was not on his calendar. Looking back, I am grateful for the boredom because I was never a good truant due to the fear of my father.

For the most part from kindergarten through the sixth grade, your classmates remained intact, unless a move in or out of the district occurred or if you fell way behind and those last weeks of education was spent with your best friends, so it really wasn’t that bad. Looking back now, instead of sulking about why the Saint Agatha students were already celebrating summer, we could have soaked in all the memories because they soon would become distant. I remember having a crush on Ms. Prus in the second (or first?) grade, being totally intimidated by Ms. Deutsch in the third grade and when Mr. Moss entered our home room in the fourth grade, we were all stunned because it was our first male teacher. And of course, the legendary Mr. Whitman taught us not only what was in the school books but what life was all about. I remember sitting at attention when the principal, Ms. Sparks, would enter our classroom as her presence commanded respect. Waiting for those small manilla envelopes with the twist to unravel to look at your report card was always unnerving, especially if there were not all “A’s” (or “ninety” and above) on all subjects, because after all it was the last day of school and your parents or guardians knew you had to be coming home with it, unlike the rest of the year where forgery could have reigned supreme for three quarters.

For the years spent at Pershing Junior high school, I recall the last weeks being spent outside in the yard as Mr. Miller’s duties as the gym teacher expanded by a number of periods as we mainly played softball. Whenever I came to bat, Andrew would shift his team to where he thought I was going to hit it and wherever they moved, a line drive base hit would follow on the next pitch to the spot where the infielder was positioned. “You make me crazy, no matter where we play you, you hit it where we are not.” Isn’t that the name of the game? Our final day at school was sad in one way because we all knew at some point we would be heading in different directions once the ninth or tenth grade was upon us. But the core friends would spend time together most of the summer. As previously mentioned, once I realized that I was “zoned” for Fort Hamilton High School, I immediately took the “test” for admissions into either Bronx High School of Science, Stuyvesant, or Brooklyn Tech.

My trips to Tech had to be done by the NYC subway mode of transportation and if my parents were nervous about me walking to Pershing, you can imagine their trepidation about boarding the “R” or “N” trains to ultimately exit in downtown Brooklyn, at DeKalb Avenue. In a moment I will never forget, my buddy, Mike, asked me to hold his bag for him as he climbed to the back of the last car on the Express N train at 36^th street and looked on through the glass window while the speed of the train kicked into high gear towards the next stop, Pacific Street (now known as Barclay’s Center). I would cringe while watching and prayed that there were no police officers on the platform once we pulled into the station. No, he never scaled the top with his arms stretched out because that is where I drew the line and would not carry his stuff. I am all for an adrenaline rush but again, that usually occurs when one is doing something that they are not supposed to, and my fears (dad and of getting hurt) usually won out. Many of the kids in the neighborhood rarely paid for the NYC bus as they would climb on the back and hang on like the sanitation workers did on their trucks or someone (who did pay) would go to the back of the bus to slide open the last window, while a slew of guys would slither in headfirst. During the winter snowfalls, the same guys would “skitch” on the avenue, like a skier or sledder, through the streets while holding onto the bumper of the huge city bus.

I never had any fear of riding the subway to Tech, even with my “T-Square,” which was usually protruding out of my back-pack and most likely hit more than a few passengers while I moved or turned, unbeknownst to me as I see it today as an adult as these youngsters learn how to navigate through the city. On a different note, last week while on the number five train I saw a young person wearing a “Tech T-shirt” and I tapped him on the shoulder. Looking up surprised, I asked him if he had graduated from there, but he said he was a current student taking “Pharmacy” as the major. You had to see the look on his face when I informed him that I graduated in 1983. LOL. He stated that the school has added many new majors, so when I told him that Architecture was mine, he quickly pointed out that it is the most popular these days. Getting back to the story, for some reason on the last day of school during my first year there (10^th grade) all of a sudden there were brawls taking place in and around Tech. And since I was sort of an introvert in those days, I did not have too many friends that I could latch on to so we could “leave in numbers.” Once I saw the homeroom teacher run into the hallway, I knew my next destination was the NYC subway station across from L.I.U. as I bolted out the door, jumped from the top of each stairwell and ran out the side door, literally “flying” through the streets as that adrenaline rush was due to concern for my safety. That usually is the fastest I can run, whenever immediate danger is in effect. Needless to say, I did not attend the last day at Tech during my last two years as the fear was evident upon my face when I came home and informed mom, I would not be going the following years.

When I arrived at Brooklyn College and realized that I could schedule all my classes and be done by noon each day, I was in my glory. Switching back to the bus for my commute, Mary found out quickly that I could not be late as I waited for her at the 50^th street stop and let more than a few go by until she finally arrived fifteen minutes later than the agreed upon schedule. The next day I boarded the B-11 without her to make my way to class by 7:30 or 8:00 a.m. Once I discovered that basically everything was over in May, I could not believe it and there was no “official” last day that I can remember because depending on the course, or professor, the semester ended once you were done with final exams.

I can recall when my children attended school “in the suburbs” as I was stunned to learn that it usually started in late August and even as an adult that made me twitch because in all the years, I attended classes in New York City, everything began at least two-to-three days after the Labor Day holiday. Throw in all the additional holidays during the month of September and it always seemed that the year would begin in October. At that point, the summer winds were gone, replaced by cooler air and that is when it felt like school was to begin. For years I have been hearing that the school year would eventually change where there may be “three sessions” broken throughout the calendar but it still has not occurred. For some reason I have a feeling that the teachers look forward to summer break, as well as bus drivers, and it appears this benefit may be one of the things that these unions will never let go, so until I see it with my own eyes, it will remain the same. For the suburbs, classes will start in August and end by the following May. For the public-school kids of NYC, the school year will begin after Labor Day and end on the last Friday of June. I guess in the end, the number of days spent in the classroom probably washes out, but I would always prefer to start in September and despite ending almost near the Fourth of July holiday, I would take that all day long as opposed to going to class in August when a trip to Coney Island would definitely be a preferred meeting on my personal calendar.

As we come to the end of our educational cycle for 2024, I would like to take the opportunity to congratulate all those who are graduating from graduate, college, and high school. I would also like to extend a smile to those parents or guardians who will attend all the kindergarten and middle school ceremonies. Savor it because before you know it, preparation for college and university trips will be upon your doorsteps. And in the immortal words of Mr. Cooper- “School’s out for summer… school’s out forever.” Rock on my friends… but make sure you go back in September. (or August, LOL).

Today’s setlist will center around things associated with school, or if not so evident, I will give you the reason for its inclusion. (Enjoy!)

1— “Be True to Your School” by Beach Boys—I know my dad is rolling his eyes right now, but I enjoy The Beach Boys as I believe their harmonies were some of the best that this world has ever known. “Rah, rah, rah, sis boom bah… Rah, rah, rah, sis boom bah.” I will always be true to Brooklyn Tech as I loved attending that institution for three years as it was one of the best experiences of my life. I am so mad at myself for not saving my senior T-shirt because I think I wore it almost every day for years, I should have put it in a frame. Sad to see the news about Brian Wilson and my thoughts and prayers are with him, as well as his family.

2— “School Days (Ring Ring Goes the Bell)” by Chuck Berry—If one looked up the definition of rock and roll, there just may be a photo of the late great Chuck Berry. This could also be considered one of the greatest rock and roll songs ever recorded. The groove is beyond infectious, and it is impossible to listen to this song just once. Love the guitar solo and the piano playing behind Mr. Berry. “Drop the coin right into the slot… you gotta hear something that’s really hot…” Crank this one up! 

3— “My Old School” by Steely Dan—Talk about a “funk-a- licious” groove? This unit is beloved, and I was just a bit young because once my journey started, I was looking for “fast and heavy,” which was not in their lane. That said, it does not mean that I was not aware of them, I was, but at an elevated level- meaning once their songs hit the radio airwaves (mainly WABC AM when I was just a pup) then it caught my attention. As someone on the back-nine now, I do have more than a few songs in my library. I went back to my old school, P.S. 169, about three years ago, parked my car right in front of the side entrance on 44^th street and walked around the entire structure while reminiscing about days gone by.

4— “Graduation (Friends Forever)” by Vitamin C— Love the sentimental music in the beginning and I think if you loved high school, this is the perfect song because the chorus strikes a chord- “… As we go on… We remember… All the times we… Had together… And as our lives change… Come whatever… We will still be… Friends forever…” It is stunning to think that my fortieth high school reunion is already one year older. How has time flown by so fast? I will always remember Karen, Dani, and Nicholas as “friends forever.” And I will never forget Mr. Falick as he turned the screws on during my senior year but made me a better student. Thanks to my Aunt Mary who helped me score a “99” on my “Chemistry” Regents exam in the 10^th grade. And to Mr. Banks, who was floored that I could run up the staircase as fast as I did. Believe me, he was faster.  

5— “No Such Thing” by John Mayer— I can hear why John was my eldest’s favorite while in high school and his inspiration for becoming a singer/songwriter as well as a guitarist. This tune hits all those things that we believe we are when we are in high school. I love the following lines- “I just can’t wait ‘til my ten-year reunion… I’m going to bust down the double doors… And when I stand on these tables before you… you know what all this time was for…” And the funny thing is I have always lived my life inside the lines. Every once in a while, I often wondered what it would be like to veer off but then I am right back inside those lines. LOL.

6— “High School Never Ends”—by Bowling for Soup– Love the video where a handful of students are listening to a band in 1985 where the teachers and kids told them how bad they were. I know the lyrics paint a picture that life really never changes after high school because some people never change as driving the best car or wearing the best clothes is what the focus remains on- basically it is gossip, which I tend to stay away from. Love the groove in this song and that is why it makes the list.  

7— “Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2”— by Pink Floyd- I did not realize it at the time it was released in 1980 that it was a protest song- everyone loved it because there was school kids singing in unison- “we don’t need no education… we don’t need no thought control… no dark sarcasm in the classroom… Teachers, leave them kids alone… Hey! Teacher! Leave us kids alone!” Of course, I never agreed with those sentiments because I always appreciated those who would help the younger generation. “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

8— “Teacher Teacher”— by Rockpile- Okay I think this was the “major” hit that was played on classic rock radio from the unheralded “Seconds of Pleasure” by Rockpile. My apologies for the lyrics. I will move on.

9— “High School”— by MC5- There are many who are so upset with the voters of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because they had an ample amount of time to induct MC5. And just as they finally get in just about a month ago, their only original member left, Dennis “Machine Gun” Thompson passed away on May 9^th. In February 2024, the legendary Wayne Kramer left us at the age of seventy-five. Many believe MC5 were the inventors of punk. The next three songs are in the punk genre.

10— “School Days’”- by The Runaways– Imagine a band that contained Joan Jett and Lita Ford? Well, that was the Runaways, with no offense to Sandy West (founding member and drummer), Cheri Currie (lead vocalist) and Jackie Fox (bassist). This unit created huge excitement and has this punk feel with pure rock and roll mixed in. Crank it up!

11— “Rock and Roll High School”– by The Ramones– The Ramones changed the lives of many when they exploded in the “underground” and defined that punk image with their explosive personalities where it seemed like they played their songs in succession because if they stopped, a brawl would most likely ensue. The original band members met in the middle-class area of Forest Hills in Queens and formalized in 1974. It was the idea of Douglas Colvin, bassist, who thought that all of them should change their names to “Ramone” as he became known as “Dee Dee.” The initial bandmates have all passed but some of their replacements are still with us.

12— “The Story of My Life”- by Social Distortion –So far in 2024, my music world has expanded as I have gone to see “Jazz” shows and last Wednesday, thanks to my friend Chris, it was my initial introduction to Social Distortion at the Rooftop at Pier 17 in lower Manhattan. I loved their show (and Bad Religion closed that night out as they are alternating who opens and closes). I could feel the affection for Mike Ness, lead singer, who has endured “a lot” throughout his career. Folks, if you have a chance to see these two punk stalwart bands, please do so as the energy is incredible. If you read the lyrics to this tune, you will be able to relate, especially if you were born in the 1960’s or early 1970’s.

13— “School’s Out”- by Alice Cooper –Please listen to this classic with a notable set of headphones and squeeze them into your head as hard as you can while you listen to the brilliance of this tune. I know the focus is on the chorus but the musicians on this track are flat-out incredible. The lead guitarist, Glen Buxton, actually had a hand in writing this tune, is rock solid. It was such a shame that in 1997, he was playing with some of his ex-bandmates from Alice Cooper and mentioned that he had some pain. Everyone told him to see a doctor, but he played on. Seven days later, his fiancé drove him to a hospital in Iowa and unfortunately, he died of complications from viral pneumonia. He was only forty-nine.   

14— “Don’t Be a Drop Out”- by James Brown – I think that “dropping out” of school became prevalent in the 1970’s (but I could be wrong) and it was a shame as there were many that I knew that would leave in the 12^th grade, some prior to that. There were those who went back to get their “GED” and I congratulate them. For those currently in school, please stick it out.

15— “Subdivisions” by Rush– At the end of the day, this tune falls into my top twenty songs of all-time. And if someone from the Rush congregation were to state that this was their greatest song, there would be absolutely no argument from me. I will repeat the same story as each time I hear this track, I am squished in the back seat with friends and this song came on the radio. It was quiet as I was singing along with Geddy “word-for-word” as I could feel the entire car staring at me. “What song is this? How do you know all the words?” My retort was- “how do you not know who this is?” Neil, you are deeply missed. “Subdivisions… in the high school halls…” I bow to RUSH!     

16— “Teacher’”- by Jethro Tull-If you are old enough to remember that WPLJ was the best rock station in New York, then you also know that this song was a staple on that station. It has taken a long time (and it was not their fault) for me to get over that Tull won the first ever “heavy metal grammy” when the entire universe knew it should have been Metallica. I would change the station in disgust if I heard any Tull songs but when I go back to listen to classic tunes such as this one, I realize how good they were in their ”hey-day.” Did you know that Tony Iommi was actually part of Jethro Tull? It lasted a whole two weeks. He went on to form Black Sabbath.  

17— “Smokin’ In the Boys Room”- by Motley Crue-Yes, I know this is a cover (Brownsville Station) and the reason for this rendition is because of the slick guitar sound of Mick Mars. Of course, Tommy’s drumming is always on point and keeps the groove flowing. Mick’s guitar solo beginning at the 1:34 flows perfectly and continues through the two minute mark. Yes, I am a John 5 fan and think he is a perfect fit to the band, just doesn’t seem it was done the right way though.  By the way- “smokin’ ain’t allowed in school”- is the reason for its inclusion. And no, of course, this was never me as I have never even tried to smoke. LOL.

18— “Fifteen” by Taylor Swift – Taking it down a bit to the wonderful world of Taylor Swift as it seems that she is now included on many of my setlists, and this tune has to hit home for a lot of people out there. The year was 1980 and when I turned fifteen, I was “knee deep” into hard rock with bands like AC/DC and Van Halen, while looking to fill up as much as I could intake. It was also the first year I attended Brooklyn Tech during my sophomore year of high school. Back then, it was a big deal that the 1970’s was ending as we did not know what to expect from the 1980’s, which now seems like a lifetime ago. Wow.

19— “Logical Song” by Supertramp – What have we learned? Sensible- well that seems to be lacking. Logical- still trying to figure out why a prominent figure would show up in a local jurisdiction and blame a national figure for something that has nothing to do with the case. Responsible? The questions run too deep. By the way, this falls into the top one hundred songs ever recorded.  

20— “Kodachrome” by Paul Simon– Okay, not everything that we learned in high school was crap, contrary to what Paul declares but this song is so addictive that I had to include it just because of the opening line that references school. I recently started to watch “The Sopranos” again and there is a scene where Janice is driving in her car singing along to this classic. This song will forever remind me of my summers spent in Otisville because despite being released in 1973, it was played for the rest of the decade on WABC radio with Harry or Ron. Love this song.  

21— “We’re All in This Together” by Cast of High School Musical– Yes, I am ending this on a “musical” note and yes, it is Disney. You can call it “bubble gum” or a “guilty pleasure” but I have no qualms placing it in this list because I believe the words and sentiment are apropos. It may seem cliché, but I believe that “… everyone is special in their own way… we make each other strong… we’re not the same … we’re different in a good way… together’s where we belong… we’re all in this together…” Congratulations again to all those who are moving on to the next phase of their life, higher education or otherwise. Savor every school moment because like everything else, you too will be asked to respond to your fortieth high school reunion. Happy Summer everyone!

Golf

“Errol, did you hit the ball with the club? We did not hear a thing.”

If you were reared in a city chances were quite good that almost every activity was played atop of concrete or maybe now these “artificial” types of turfs, which seem to be emerging everywhere. I can recall being surrounded by broken glass so much so that we thought it was just part of the décor as evidenced by our unflinching desire to slide into any base in our shorts. Most of the neighborhood became skilled at avoiding large burns or scrapes to their exposed skin, it was the equivalent of those folks who live in Buffalo, N.Y., who navigate through four feet of snow in their vehicles with the greatest of ease, because neither group of individuals thought about it. If you played with fear, injury would soon follow.

The Brooklyn sidewalks, along with the stoops, were our “home away from home” up until around the sixth grade. Remember, mom was always perched high above us in that fourth-floor window and her radar was equivalent to what the military deploys, so we did not dare to touch the blacktop of the infamous city streets. If we needed to cross over to the O’Leary’s side of the block, Rich and I would be in our standing, crouch, three-point position while waiting for her cue of “Go now!” Other parents would take us back when needed, which was acceptable to mom as each house on the block had eyes on us throughout the day and night. Having this flexibility allowed us to roam around to “47^th street,” which was usually the preferred route as that block had the most trees of any in the entire Sunset Park radius. If we exited our apartment building, there was an extremely cool alley way that provided instant access to “45^th street,” which was coupled with “Hey kid, get out of there,” the early version of the “Whack a Mole” game that provided a rush to run faster because if they “ratted” you out to your parents, one could expect instant punishment. And for whatever reason, we never really stayed on “forty-fifth” because there were not as many kids our age like there was just one block west. Crossing avenues was not even spoken about and if you were ever caught, it could mean the end of your summer.

Hopscotch and “box-ball” were the traditional favorites on the sidewalk prior to entering the fifth grade. Once we discovered “stoop-ball,” well that basically took over our lives and the hopping on one leg that we utilized in hopscotch made it an easy transition to jumping up the painted red steps to retrieve the Spalding ball that somehow remained still at the top of the flat landing before the front door. As previously mentioned in “The Game” post, the sidewalk was also used for “Red Light, Green Light” and of course “Tag,” but there would always be arguments with “Tag” because the slower kids complained about the lack of boundaries as someone like me was practically never caught.

Once we were allowed to enter the street, it opened up a world of jubilation, mainly because of “Three Sewer Stickball,” whereby if you hit it over the head of the last fielder, who was basically standing at the front of the half circle of the third one, then you were considered a “slugger” because that was an “automatic” homerun. On the days of “alternate side parking” we would use chalk to set up a “mini” version game of baseball with the legendary “Triangle” contest where if one had a nasty spin on the ball, it could make it difficult to slap it with your hand. We could literally play some form of baseball the entire day. When the cool weather arrived, it was on to two-hand touch football where we plainly designed the plays in the huddle with the pointer finger on someone’s chest, with most routes designated to squeeze in-between parked cars, so that the defender had no room to follow you in to that “lane.” Even if they did, the quarterback would place the ball towards the sidewalk where the receiver could only catch it, while keeping the tips of their toes on the curb to remain in-bounds as they fell onto the sidewalk. Whenever it snowed, it meant the “Eighth Avenue” kids would challenge the “Seventh Avenue” crew to a game of tackle football and this always occurred on the main avenue, instead of the side streets. Since Eighth had the bus route, almost all these snow games took place on Seventh Avenue, outside of Saint Agatha’s church, and believe me if you ever were hit by Jay, at least one did not have far to go to pray for healing.

Fast forward when I moved to Ringwood, there was little, if any pavement, as the luxurious fields were like playing on heavenly carpet (okay, maybe not Hewitt field, LOL) but you get the picture. The first thing that I noticed were that these beautiful wide-open spaces were always empty. In Brooklyn, we would carry a “blank piece” of paper inside an envelope (to make believe we had a “permit” if someone asked to see it) and would basically sit on home plate before the sun came up just to ensure “ownership” of that field.  I would shake my head in disappointment because here were these immaculate grass coverings that most any “city-kid” would love to play on, that went to waste day in and day out. Now, of course by the time we were teenagers in Brooklyn, we played down on Shore Road for many of the Flynn Celtic contests, which were grass diamonds but not like the “meadows” that grow in the suburbs. If you were raised north of New York City, there are no such things as concrete school yards. And the games played outside of the five boroughs were extremely different.

When we arrived in the Nutmeg state, I would walk up to the local high school and there is this huge recreational artificial field that was home to the Varsity football team, as well as the junior varsity squad. On the weekends, a men’s soccer league would participate in some intense games and then there was this sport that I was totally unfamiliar with, LaCrosse. As I sat in the bleachers watching the contest, it reminded me of hockey and for whatever reason it never peaked my interest, especially those long sticks with the “crab” netting, as I would head for the exits not even five minutes into a match. (with no offense intended for anyone who love this sport as I have read that it is one of the oldest in the country). On one of my walks across the high school, I noticed these beautiful tennis courts as I thought of an equivalent that we’d play in Brooklyn- handball. But when I saw kids with golf clubs, I knew I was not in Kansas anymore.

Now when I attended Brooklyn Tech, I was amazed at the various sporting teams that were available, including a fencing squad but I do not think my world was ever opened up to golf. As a teenager, I knew there was a course in Bay Ridge but that was only because we passed it when we were driving to Dyker Park (in Bensonhurst) to play football on concrete. The closest I ever came to participating in this game was through “miniature golf,” where I believe there was a course in Nelly Bly, but I am not positive. Once I was in the “business world” (as Phoebe would pretend when she was trying to coax the blackjack dealer into going into business as Joey’s “hand-twin”) there was some “peer pressure” to participate in this event where I knew there was at least some talent required but I would try to run far away just as I did when asked to attend a cigar bar at any conference.  

I will never forget when I worked at MBIA, where I felt that if I wore a red tie, it was the equivalent of Elvis shaking his hips on the Ed Sullivan show, where I attended an annual spring outing where one could play eighteen holes or tennis. When I tried to sign up for tennis, I was turned away because I did not have a white collared shirt, so I decided to join a “foursome.” I had no idea that four people was typically the “norm” and of course since I am a “lefty” there was usually only one “three iron” golf club, along with a “putter” on the entire premises. So, here I am participating in a sport that I had never played but everyone assumed I could play because “you are an athlete, you will be able to pick it up in no time.” By the seventh hole, I was bored out of my mind, and then I came across a bunch of people playing softball. The other three people just looked at me and said “go!”

The only other time I participated in another “foursome” was when Sue asked me to join her husband and six other people at their Country club in New Canaan Connecticut. Upon arriving, I knew this was “serious stuff” as the amount of people that was at this club at an extremely early hour in the morning just blew me away. I felt like I was on the set of “Caddyshack” as I wanted to borrow that “one piece overall” outfit from the real “caddies” because I knew that I was totally out of my element. As Sue’s husband asked who had played before, my head looked right at the ground as for the first time in my life, I knew what it was like to be like “Rachel” in the “football episode of Friends” as I was the last one picked.

Feeling apprehensive and always worried about what people perceive of me, I nervously looked around as the “four professional’s” from our group had just completed the first hole. I immediately volunteered to “go last” because I noticed a “huge gap” where I knew that I was going to have trouble hitting the ball over this space because there was a solid chance that it would get lost in the water below. “Really, the first hole?!” After the third person from our group “teed off,” it was now my turn. As I stood near the ball, I knew I had the same “leg kick” that Adam Sandler embodied in “Happy Gilmore,” and I did not want to shank the golf ball into the water. Lining up for the shot, I made it look like I was a serious golfer as I “delayed” to ensure that the people that were with me continued to walk forward, while keeping an eye on the foursome behind us. As soon as I knew there was not one person looking at me, I bent over to pick up the golf ball and heaved it as far as I could as my right shoulder felt like it dislocated from its socket. When the ball softly landed on the fairway, each of my “teammates” turned to ask the aforementioned statement at the top of this post.

On my second shot, with the “three-iron,” I sliced the ball to the extreme right (think the foul pole at any baseball stadium) and I watched it sail into the woods. Apparently, I embarrassed everyone at this Country Club with my lack of “golf etiquette,” because at that moment I dropped the club on the grass and ran after the ball like I was running down the first base line, trying to beat out a hit. I thought it was the right thing to do to ensure that I did not lose the ball. I think it was Sue who walked over to me and whispered in my ear- “we have plenty of extra golf balls, please do not run like that again.” From that moment on, I was watched by everyone behind and in front of us as I tried my best to keep the ball straight. Obviously, I never saw a birdie or an eagle, not even in the sky, as the heat of that summer day kept all feathered friends inside their nests trying to keep cool in the shade. As we approached the ninth hole, I was done as it was like being on a green desert with no escape from the sun beating down on my capless head seemingly burning a hole right to the center of my brain.

I think for the first time in my life, I was praying for rain clouds to surround us and as we finished the tenth, all of a sudden there was a bolt of lightning, which just like baseball, induced an automatic interruption, as we all ran for cover back at the clubhouse. Sitting in front of the locker, I knew there was no way I was going to go back on the greens and changed into another shirt. Looking around at the majestic club as we gathered around the bar inside the restaurant, I said to myself that I could get used to this place. I could not even imagine how much it was to be a member, but I was eternally grateful for the invite as the heavenly rain allowed me to see how beautiful the Country Club was, and you guessed it, that was the last time I ever played golf.

In honor of today being “Golf Day,” the setlist will include songs that I feel are appropriate with things related to golf. Even though it is something that still does not resonate with me, I recognize how popular the game is, as well as it being a way to decompress (despite the various intricacies), so to all those who love to golf, have a wonderful time on your next outing. (Enjoy!)

1— “Straight Down the Middle” by Bing Crosby—What does every golfer want to do when they line up the ball? They want to hit it straight down the middle. Bing was an avid golfer, and this song is about his favorite pastime, accompanied with the whipping of the golf club. Of course, the “big band” sound is prevalent as it has to bring a smile to your face. “The sun was never brighter… the greens were never greener…” And later on, “the life of a golfer is not all gloom… there’s always the lies in the locker room…”

2— “30 Days In a Hole” by Humble Pie—This has to be considered one of the biggest songs by Humble Pie, if not the most recognized, and highlights the impressive singing ability of the late Steve Marriott. I would have loved to been in the studio when they were recording this tune as it seemed like everyone was having a blast. I love the drumming behind Steve’s vocals and once the chorus hits, you will be either dancing around the room or snapping your fingers to this delicious groove. The main object in golf is to get the ball in the hole. 

3— “Eagles Fly” by Sammy Hagar—Sammy appeared on Howard recently and when he talked about the late Eddie Van Halen, I could feel that his words were sincere. I was happy that the “brother’s from another mother” were able to make amends before Eddie’s passing. I believe Eddie helped him out on this track. Whenever a golfer is two shots ahead of “Par,” I believe the scoring is known as “an eagle.”

4— “Hot for Teacher” by Van Halen— Okay stay with me- “I brought my pencil… give me something to write on…” Even if the pencil is not utilized these days on the Professional Golf tour, they are still used when we attend the Miniature golf places, so in my opinion, this makes the list. And make sure you write in “6” when you shoot one on the third hole when the par is three. Each time I hear this tune now, the image of Wolfie just absolutely shredding it next to Dave Grohl (playing bass) for the tribute for Taylor Hawkins last year remains in my head. This has my vote for the greatest ending to a song. “Class dismissed!”

5— “Scary Little Green Men” by Ozzy Osbourne— Last Friday I was on an Ozzy kick as I kept listening to “Patient 9” and “Ordinary Man” over and over. The main objective of a golfer’s first shots are to get the ball on to the green, and if you are having a bad day on the course, you may just see some scary little green men; especially if you had some “refreshments” in-between holes. Chad Smith’s smashing of the drums before the chorus is beyond addictive and Duff McKagan’s bass is just as riveting. And Tom Morello is the lead guitarist on this track. Can it get any better? “Take me to your leader!” There is only one Ozzy, and he is a Universal Treasure. Crank this one up… if you can handle it.

6— “Swingtown”—by Steve Miller Band– Besides cursing, crying, complaining, and maybe cheating, what is the one thing performed the most in a game of golf? Swinging. And what better way to celebrate than this late 1970’s classic by the Steve Miller Band? These guys are still going strong as they will open for Def Leppard and Journey for many of the shows this summer.

7— “Middle of the Road”— by The Pretenders- Middle of the fairway, I mean road. When is the last time you have heard this classic from Chrissie and the boys? I love the guitar solo that begins at the 1:40 mark and continues on past the second minute of this rocking tune. Okay these songs so far are probably not played at any Country Clubs, but I would need them to get through nine holes, never mind eighteen. The Pretenders are touring this summer and definitely worth seeing as they usually tear it up.

8— “Remember (Walking in the Sand)”— by Aerosmith- Sometimes your shot will land in the sand and your friends will always remember that infamous trap that you could not get out of as the final score of “quadruple bogey” fills the score card. By the time the album- “Night in the Ruts”- was released in 1979, the band was close to the end as their debauchery infiltrated each member to the point where it severely impacted their ability to stay alive. In my opinion, this cover of “The Shangri-Las” classic gave the band life in the sense that record executives knew that if they straightened their act out, there was money to be made.    

9— “Black Hole Sun”— by Soundgarden- Okay, somebody please fill me in on how this band is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? If this were the only song they ever created, they still waltz through those golden doors, in my opinion. I have heard that when golfers have a bad day it is the equivalent to falling into a black hole sun. “Superunknown” is the greatest album of the 1990’s decade and this is the ultimate highlight in every facet of a song. Chris Cornell’s vocals should send chills down your spine while Kim Thayil’s guitar playing is pure genius. The engine of Ben Shepherd and Matt Cameron (yes, the same drummer for Pearl Jam) are flat out in “lock and step” throughout this masterpiece. And what about the video? Could be the best one ever.

10— “In a Hole Again’”- by Tesla– In my opinion, this is one of the ultimate tunes that Tesla has ever recorded and lands in their top ten. I think these lyrics depict the fear of many of us out there- “… all these years… I’ve lived in fear… that you would find out… just exactly what I’m made of… or what I’m really all about…” Jeff Keith’s vocals are stupendous on this track and the guitar solo that begins at the 3:06 mark should be utilized in every “air-guitar” contest across the universe. OMG! Flawless. Please folks, I beg of you- listen to TESLA!

11— “Iron Man”– by Black Sabbath– Remaining with the “heaviness,” and one can never get enough of Ozzy. Yes, but this is Sabbath, so it is allowed. I remember as a kid thinking that this was the absolute coolest song in the history of rock just because of the way Ozzy says, “I am Iron Man.” C’mon I think even the “disco” freaks even loved this tune. If one were to look inside a golf bag, there would have to be some iron clubs. This band invented metal.

12— “Knock on Wood”- by Eddie Floyd –Inside that same bag, there are also wood clubs, right? Listen I know for the “disco” purists, the version by Amii Stewart is probably preferred and I love that rendition as well, but I wanted to let those who might not know that she covered this. Her take on this tune is a lot faster than the funky groove by Mr. Floyd. I love this tune and always utilize it at the annual summer carnival in my town as the residents dance all around the field.

13— “Driven to Tears”- by The Police – One of the other goals is to drive the ball a long way down the fairway and many times, especially if it “slices,” one could be driven to tears. Or if there is an easy put and one misses, this could also be a case where you could be driven to tears. For the folks of age, we were lucky enough to witness the greatness of this unbelievable “threesome,” which have to finish in the top five bands with only three members. Each of them brought something so special to the table that I will say we have not seen since.  

14— “Boogie Shoes” by KC & The Sunshine Band– Having the right shoes can be a “big boost” and with the game of golf, most will take any advantage because of the overall difficulty of this sport. I bet that most people do not realize that this song was included on the ultimate soundtrack ever- “Saturday Night Fever.” KC & The Sunshine band are one of the best live units to see as everyone is singing and dancing to some of the best songs ever created.  

15— “Magic Marker” by Monsters of Folk– We have all seen professional golfers pick up their balls on the green but use some sort of marker to know where to place it when it is their turn because they were not the closest one to the hole. It could be a magic marker, right? If you like “folk” music, you will absolutely love this “one-off” by this “supergroup” known as the Monsters of Folk.    

16— “Rough Housin’”- by 38 Special-There are moments when the ball will be lost in the rough, which is the higher grass that’s outside the fairway. This song brings back memories of our days within the MBIA bootcamp with Dave as I usually added this as the first song to get the juices flowing. I remember that there was some resistance or confidence that “rock” songs could be utilized in a public setting, but I think I dispelled that notion because by the time I left, Tricia could remove her hands from her ears whenever I had this or Linkin Park on the setlist.

17— “Black Water”- by The Doobie Brothers-If someone were to ask me what I though was the “song of the 1970’s” I would point to this incredible tune as I always waited with bated breath for Harry Harrison or Ron Lundy to play it on WABC AM radio. The 12^th hole at The Masters has been a heartbreaker for many professionals and thwarted a chance to win a Masters title… because of the water. The Brothers are touring with Steve Winwood and the Robert Cray band. Now that is a nice concert.

18— “Hooked on a Feeling” by Blue Suede – My first shot at the New Canaan Country Club hooked to the right so far that it was lost forever. Remember this tune? It has made its way to most wedding celebrations recently and my heart grew as I saw everyone from grandma on down to the millennials singing along to this classic. Music can make you smile and this song definitely does that to me.  

19— “Gimme Some Slack” by The Cars – Sometimes when the ball is so close to the hole, it is called a “gimme.” And I thought the same thing once this song was released, it was a “gimme” that it was going to be a hit. I recently read somewhere that, in the opinion of the author, that The Cars should have never been voted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because they made “crap” albums after “Candy-O.” Even if that is the case, their first two albums are classic to the point where I ask the same author to put up two Journey albums against The Cars. I recognize that most everyone “craps” on “Panorama” but make no mistake there are some fantastic tunes on that body of work. Say what you will about the “poppy-ness” of “Heartbeat City” but there is no denying “Hello Again,” “Magic,” “You Might Think” and of course, the incredible “Drive.” I was stunned to read that piece.  

20— “Down In A Hole” by Alice In Chains– Jerry Cantrell has stated that this tune lands in his top three songs and it is a song about the love of his life. I believe the brethren would point to this track as the ultimate AIC song as the entire structure is flawless, while the late Layne Staley does a masterful job on vocals. As soon as you hear Jerry’s opening notes on guitar, the world stops as you enter the twilight zone. Imagine being in the studio once this was completed? Wow.  

21— “Lost” by Little Big Town– On my second shot on that golf course, I lost the ball and could not find it, despite intently searching for it but realized I was taking too long as the three other golfers were standing there with hands on their hips. Last Saturday my heart ached as I watched Don get into the car and drive away to his new living quarters. “I’m so lost without you… I’m so lost without you… that I can’t find myself…” I can’t stop looking out our window to see if that same light is on in his house, but it is now dark. Did not think it was going to be this hard.  

22— “Bed of Lies” by Matchbox Twenty-The game of golf is supposed to be played with honor and one is not supposed to lie. Cheating on your score or shots to make yourself look like the “big shot” on the course is the ultimate self-serving gesture that everyone should be able to see right through. Integrity is a huge part of this game of life and I know I do not want to live in a bed of lies.

LOVE

Love.

Is there a word that elicits more emotion in the English language? Usually, the first thing that comes to mind is the deepest feelings where expression of those sentiments can often prove to be difficult, while in other moments, it causes an uneasiness because of institutional engrained societal standards where humiliation reigns supreme. Breaking down those barriers continue to be generational struggles because “throwing shade” is easier than acceptance. Sometimes in life, we love who we love.

Love has many shapes and forms, in my opinion. Thinking back to when I was growing up on 46^th street in Sunset Park, my adoration of having fun was all-consuming to the point where I could not wait to do the same things day in and day out. And it was not until years later that I realized it was the friends that enhanced those splendid times, especially when I suddenly moved to Otisville N.Y. in the fifth grade. I cried for days as the pain of leaving those companions on the block as well as my schoolmates at P.S. 169, was profound. Of course, playing baseball and football were at the top of the list but just hanging out on the stoop with your buddies was often the highlight despite not exerting any energy as we were all getting to know each other, as well as their older siblings, parents, and grandparents. To this day, I am not embarrassed to say that I love all those people who took part in my development as a person, as they were an important part of my life.

When I joined the Flynn Celtics as a teenager, I did not think life could get better. What I would give to jump into the back of Mr. G’s greasy van to participate in the game that we loved, while developing lifelong friendships, despite maybe not seeing each other for decades, but for me, those moments of our camaraderie remain in my heart. Last summer, when I had the unfortunate experience of attending the wake for “one of ours,” Stephen Downs, the flashbacks to him hitting long homeruns brought me right back to the field at 79^th street and Shore Road. Images of three pointers flying from near half court inside the Saint Agatha gymnasium took me back to those innocent occasions as the tears welled up but this time, I was totally comfortable to let him know while kneeling that I loved that period in my life as well as him.

Engaging in the “rough” two-handed touch football league in Dyker Park with The Outlaws was a tremendous part of my existence as I can still recall the last game I played in and when it ended, the “crisscross” of the school yard fence was the final thing in my memory as I was leaving Brooklyn to start a new path with the love of my life, my bride, in 1991. Practicing in front of Izzy’s before all of us jumped into Cheesy’s car to drive to 86^th and 14^th avenue was what I lived for because not only was I able to run around but the bonds that were developed meant more to me. Yes, I knew it at the time but when it comes to sharing the word “love,” with teammates would most likely make things uncomfortable, right? Think back to the “Silent Generation” or even “The Baby Boomers,” no matter how many times I told my grandfather I loved him, he would nod. And this “tradition” of “keeping things inside” continued on to our generation. I never took it as an insult because at that age it was near impossible to adapt to changing what never had to be said but that did not stop me from telling him each and every time I saw him.

Last year, while sadly again attending the funeral for one of The Outlaws, I decided to throw caution into the wind and let one of the best players I ever had the fortune to play alongside that I loved him. I think he was surprised, and he did not reciprocate but I wanted him to know. Love. It knows no boundaries. Now, of course, this opens the door for uncomfortableness and second guessing, but I will no longer allow it because one never knows what will happen from one day to the next. And I would rather let it be known instead of being regretful.

Being a creature of habit can sometimes be unhealthy and change can be good for the soul. That said, one of the reasons I want things to remain the same is because of love. For instance, when I went off to work at MBIA, it took me well out of my comfort zone but introduced me to family members that I still love dearly. And this includes members of a different gender. This causes another sense of apprehension, right? What are you saying? Do you love my wife or girlfriend? It is almost like an unwritten rule that the someone who is not of your gender cannot be friends because everyone assumes that there has to be another component of love in the equation. And that is just not true.

Both groups at MBIA, the folks I worked with and the “gym rats,” contained various genders where the roots of our friendship went further into my being because of the amount of time we spent together. We loved the work that we did, you see, another form of affection, and stood behind each other’s efforts inside that committee room to be able to land a transaction that could be insured by the firm we represented. I know that everyone in that group would inform you about the sense of euphoria if their bid was successful and it had nothing to do with money. Our analysis and dedication to the craft was the primary sense of reward. For me, it always goes that step further because once I become comfortable in my surroundings, because of the people, it seems to turn into a love where I would do anything for a colleague if the need were there or asked. I am not saying it happened everywhere I worked but I believe we all have encountered situations where the feeling is different, so unique that you know it could be a lifelong feeling despite the fact that maybe you do not see each other that often. There were members of a different gender working side by side and they became more than a colleague, they became a friend. In my book, a friend equals love.

I also love to go to mass each Sunday, in part because whenever I feel like I am at home, it represents a place of affection in my heart. Whenever I see a picture of my grandparents’ house in Otisville, my heart skips a beat because I am taken right back to the side bedroom, which I shared with Rich during the summers in the 1970’s, walking on my tippy toes trying to not wake anyone up with the destination being the kitchen, where I knew Ma was preparing those Norwegian crepes. When I am inside the church, there is a sense a calmness, peace, & tranquility that I cannot achieve anywhere else in this life that never seems to slow down. Father Tim’s homily this past weekend mentioned seeing four children with their mom & dad at a restaurant and there was not one sentence spoken amongst them because each was searching through their phone. Whenever my bride and I go out on our “date night,” I cannot wait to talk to her as our conversations are usually filled with love.

As I mentioned in other posts, I love to volunteer because even if it impacts one person, it makes my heart grow, filled with joy. Along the way, I have met some wonderful people, whom I now call a friend and you know what that equals. The first time I met Nancy, the mother of one of the Lions group members, there was an instant connection and I believe I informed her that I loved her after our second meeting. Why not? Who does not like to be told that they are loved?

Remember my “girlfriend,” Jeannette? I would buy her coffee and a muffin on Sunday mornings at the Goodie shop while she held court with all the ladies in town. Our relationship blossomed into a friendship out of the blue. She met my wife at a church function and immediately broke it off with me because as she put it- “I can’t compete with your wife, she is beautiful.” Recently, I have become a lector for the “seven-thirty” mass, which includes reading prayers for the congregation. Usually, I prepare for weeks, and I need to know how to pronounce a deceased loved one’s name because I know there are relatives of that person in the audience. Back in February, my birthday fell on a Sunday, and I rushed to get to the altar to see whose name it was going to be. Guess whose name it was? Yes, Jeanette Sweeney, my girlfriend, who had passed in 2018. Now, if that is not love, I don’t know what is. 

I remember the first time I hugged my next-door neighbor to wish him a Merry Christmas and I informed him that I loved him. He squirmed more than a worm does when one is looking for bait in the wee morning hours. Born in the 1930’s, aka, “The Silent Generation,” I knew instantly that he was extremely uncomfortable and that was not my intention. Don has become part of my family as I would do anything for him. He is getting close to celebrating nearly ninety years on this planet. We were recently informed that his living quarters will change and that is another thing that love can do to you. It can break your heart and make you cry. But the love will continue and no matter where he goes, I will be there.

Last Thursday was “bring your children to work” day all across lower Manhattan, as it used to be before Covid hit, and you had to see the smile I had as all the offspring were walking into the elevator bank. I forget how small some can be and as they stood waiting for those doors to open, it reminded me of when the gatekeeper in the “Wizard of Oz” finally let the crew in after he saw Dorothy crying. Remember how huge those doors were? Anyway, I have always loved children and will continue to do so. And I know this also creates some uneasiness because “it is not normal” for a grown man to behave in such a way. Remember when Freddie Prince Jr. made a guest appearance as “Sandy” on “Friends.” Both Ross and Joey could not understand why a man would audition to be a “nanny.” I totally understood. Last year I volunteered to hold new born babies at the Danbury hospital but there was such a backlog that I was turned away. Before I hung up, I asked if there were men who assisted in this process and the person responded- “Of course.” So, I know I am not the only one. I do not know why but there typically is an instant connection with kids, maybe because I am just a big kid at heart.

Then there is the love of your family, a love that sometimes is so deep that it can be difficult to let them know just how much they mean to you. And if I may, there is something so special about a love for a mother. If you have been reading this page, you know how many times I have professed my affection for a person who loved me like no other and all we had to do was look into each other’s eyes. And then there is dad. He has been my hero since the day I was born and my love for him grows with each passing day. Of course, there is my bride. It is hard to put into words how much she means to me, and I have been in love with her since our first date. Being in love is different than loving, in my opinion, and that is why I think this four-letter word espouses extensive meanings in almost everything we do in life. And then there is the love we have for our children. I mentioned last week that there was this “primal instinct” that took over my being and that has never dissipated, even now as an empty-nester. A love of a child is beyond extraordinary. Over the weekend, we saw a documentary on the life of Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson said that there was nothing in the world that meant as much as his son, Quinton and one could see the love that he held for him, even if it was just a ten second video that depicted them together at a park.  

In honor of today being Global Love Day, today’s setlist will contain songs about all kinds of love and if the title or lyrics do not make it clear, then I will give you the reason for its inclusion. (Enjoy!) (I will try to not utilize songs that appeared in other posts, but in some cases, the tracks are too good to not have them on a list about love).

1— “I Love Music” by The O’Jays—This has to be the first song because if you do not know by now, I love music. “Music is the healing force of the world”- I wish I could have written that line. I think I can count on one hand the number of days that I have not listened to music (“any, any, any kind of music… just as long as it is groovin’”) in the past quarter century. I was brought up in a house of music by my mom and dad. I believe that I raised my children with music and as I have mentioned my oldest is now the professor. Speaking of professor’s, I would like to thank my school yard buddies for showing me the ropes and putting me on the right path. It was their schooling that taught me the education of the Mighty Led Zeppelin and the legend known as Ozzy. I could not think of two better foundations. One other thing that I loved were the radio DJ’s that worked for WPLJ, and I was saddened to learn that “Tony Pigg,” Richard Quinn, passed away last Friday at the age of eighty-five. Tony was my favorite DJ because he loved The Cars and would always play them on his show. Tony was the long-time announcer for “Regis & Kathy” and “Regis & Kelly.” Rest in peace, Tony, you will be missed. Great man. “Nothing but thanks.”

2— “I Love the Life I Live” by Gregg Allman—There are those who love to travel, while others like to remain close to home, you know the expression- “whatever floats your boat?” – well that is what I say because hopefully you are loving the life you live. Gregg does a phenomenal version of this Willie Dixon cover, and he picked the songs that depicted his life through song on his last album- “Southern Blood.” After hitting rock bottom during his speech into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Gregg knew he had to change. His slurred speech was heartfelt for his brother but that was the only person he thanked on that fateful night in January 1995 as he was beyond inebriated. Willie Nelson, who inducted the Brothers into the Hall, walked over to him during the “after-party” and informed him that he did not look good. From that moment on, he returned to the person that his close friends and family knew. Gregg Allman was an American Treasure, and you can feel it in his music. He is one of the many reasons why I love music.

3— “When Love Comes to Town” by U2 & B.B. King— For those of age, do you remember when this hit the radio waves? OMG this groove is beyond infectious. Have you ever seen the official video for this track? B.B. is flawless and you can see how the music just pours out of him. And U2 is not so bad either. What a combination. I also love “collaborations,” and this has to be considered one of the best during the 1980’s. “But I’ve seen love conquer the great divide.” Boy, do I wish those words would finally ring true?

4— “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love” by Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga— Talk about a collaboration? For the past decade, this combination has to be considered the best there was as one could feel the love that Lady Gaga had for Mr. Bennett. It was genuine and it did not matter the age difference because it was pure respect for each other’s craft. I do believe it developed into a personal relationship as it was just pure adoration for each other.

5— “I Can’t Leave Your Love Alone”—by Teddy Pendergrass– Have you seen the 2018 documentary “Teddy Pendergrass: If You Don’t Know Me?” It is extremely engaging, and you will marvel at his determination to succeed after being raised in one of the “roughest parts of Philadelphia.” And talk about love? How many people do you think said “I love Teddy Pendergrass” when he was up on stage performing? LOL.

6— “Be My Baby”— by The Ronettes- I think I can listen to this song “24/7” as I am completely mesmerized by Veronica Bennett’s (aka “Ronnie”) lead vocals. Ironically, Ronnie, was the only one of the original women who was on the original recording as she practiced singing the song for three days before it was recorded.  Believe it or not, both Sonny and Cher were among the background singers on the song. Phil Spector, who was a “perfectionist,” supposedly made the band and singers perform the tune over forty times until he felt it was complete. When you are in love with someone, you may ask them to “Be Your Baby.”

7— “That’s What Friends Are For”— by Dionne Warwick (feat. Elton John, Gladys Knight, & Stevie Wonder)- Arguably one of the best collaborations ever recorded, no? Where would our lives be without our friends? Besides our family, food, and water, we need our friends to survive, in my opinion. Think about that someone special, who would be there for you in a moments’ notice, and tell me you do not love them? One never knows what can happen from one day to the next, so if you have never let that friend know that you love them, why wait any longer? By the way, the singing in this track is flawless. I have always been of the opinion that when you are surrounded by those who perform at an elevated level, it “brings your game up every time.”    

8— “How Deep Is Your Love”— by The Bee Gees- I said I would try to not duplicate a song but the more I listen, I can honestly say that this track lands in my top five tunes of all-time because the lead vocals and background harmonies are absolutely nothing less than spectacular. When I think of where my life would be without my bride, it is impossible. If I knew what the deepest level there is for being in love with someone, I would let you know. This track is the most heavenly ever recorded. Can you imagine being inside the recording room when this was completed? I know the tears would be streaming down my face. To this day, the “Saturday Night Fever” soundtrack is the greatest ever because of The Bee Gees. Not even close.  

9— “In Loving Memory’”- by Alter Bridge– Apologies again but this song is too good to leave off this list about love. It is a song written by Mark Tremonti after his mother passed away and the gut-wrenching lyrics are tough to swallow but it always amazes me that I love tunes that tear the heart apart. And that is because of the beauty of the composition. Myles Kennedy’s lead vocals are astounding, and his voice makes me cry. Of course, I think of my mother and that makes me cry more. It is coming up on twenty years since she passed, later in this month and sometimes it is hard to believe it has been that long. Other instances, it feels like we have just seen each other. I believe the words can apply to anyone who you loved more than words can express that have gone to the other side. And I would like to dedicate this to the family and friends of Gregory DeJohn, who passed last Friday. Gregory was a true gentleman and did so much for so many in the “old neighborhood.” This is beyond sad. Rest in peace, Gregory. Godspeed.

10— “Best Friends”– by Missy Elliott (feat. Aaliyah)– Switching gears back to our friends, this track is another mesmerizing groove that makes us all wonder what would be if Aaliyah were still here with us. Where would we be without our best friends? I have been blessed to have many “best friends” in my life and I know Johnny is having a coronary right now- yes, after my bride, you are still there.

11— “Waiting for a Friend”- by The Rolling Stones –This song took ten years to make as the beginnings were crafted during the recording of “Goats Head Soup” in 1973, while in Jamaica but they did not have lyrics. The recording includes the guitar work of ex-member, Mick Taylor, as well as Sonny Rollins performing on the saxophone. The song landed on “Tattoo You” which was released in 1981 and Mick Jagger said that the lyric he added was “very gentle and loving, about friendships in the band.” It has been a while since I have heard this tune and I forgot how much I love it. This is pure music to the ears. It does not get much better.

12— “I’m Only Me When I’m With You”- by Taylor Swift – “And I don’t try to hide my tears… my secrets or my deepest fears… through it all, nobody gets me like you do.” If you are lucky enough to have a friend or family member like this, it is one of the purest forms of love, again, in my opinion. I cannot say enough about Taylor, she moves people in ways that I have never seen before, and it is not just the younger generation. Her impact is in part due to the love that she exudes as a person and performer. Like I said, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame should just put her in now, it makes no sense to wait.

13— “Centerfield” by John Fogerty– Before I married my bride, “centerfield” was near the top of my list of things that meant the most to me. From the moment I joined the Flynn Celtics, I knew all that I wanted to do was to stand in centerfield and “shag fly balls.” It literally is what I lived for (and music) as I loved the smell of the grass and wanted to take “every hit away from the batter.” Running down a line drive or diving for a ball was what made me happy. To this day, whenever I drive by a diamond, all I want to do is get out of the car and walk around centerfield. Thank you, John, for creating a song that means the world to me.  

14— “Not Enough Love in the World” by Don Henley– Is this not apropos for the times we are living in right now? It is beyond sad that we now have those who are in charge who vote against saving the vulnerable from a conflict that was never wanted or needed by reneging on funds that can help stave off the worst kind of intruder. I often wonder why sometimes it feels like there is not enough love in the world. I pray for a world where we can all work together because the other four-letter word just causes destruction in ways that are incomprehensible. Imagine if we all worked together in harmony?    

15— “I Believe in Love”- by The Chicks-Whenever I hear this song, I do not move and stop whatever what it is I may be doing and just listen. Natalie’s vocals brings a tear to the eye and when the sisters help out on the chorus, it leaves me speechless. “… Today I got the answer… And there’s a world of truth behind it… Love is out there waiting somewhere… You just have to go and find it…” I wish the entire universe would believe in love because we would all be in a better place. The chorus is beautiful- “… I believe in love… I believe in love… A love that’s real, love that’s strong… Love that lives on and on… Yes, I believe in love…” So, do I.

16— “I Love You”- by Donna Summer-This is dedicated to my bride as I know how much she loved Donna. Sometimes saying these three words can be the hardest thing because a return of “thanks” could cause regret, especially if it comes from someone who you are in love with. Other times, it is pure euphoria because once those words are released it could open the door to a lifetime of love, like when I finally let my bride know that I loved her.

17— “Love Will Keep Us Alive” by Eagles – Wow what a beautiful song. This band is incredible as no matter who comes in or out, the music remains stellar. “When we’re hungry… love will keep us alive…” I do not know why but I think to those who have to walk “tens of miles” to find food for their family and it pains me. I think it is love that keeps those alive as they try to provide for their children.

18— “I Want to Know What Love Is” by Foreigner – Did you feel the earth shake about two weeks ago on that Sunday night? That was because it was announced that Foreigner was one of the inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We all know it was long overdue. They could have waltzed in on this song alone. I know this song is an extremely sore spot with Lou and I hope the boys will all behave when they are up on that stage in Cleveland. Hopefully, for one night, they can put aside their differences and celebrate what all their hard work did to accomplish this achievement. Lou has explicitly stated that Mick took all the credit for this song and all the money. It is amazing how one song changed this band forever, despite the brilliance. All I wish for is smiles and hugs on that special night.

19— “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green– This has to be considered one of the utmost recordings in the history of music, right? It also has to be deemed one of the most romantic songs ever created as I can’t even imagine how many people have serenaded their partner by trying to mimic Al’s vocals.

20— “Love is a Wild Thing” by Kacey Musgraves– I think this song represents what I have been trying to communicate as it is a beautiful song that paints a picture between the sweetness of love and the perplexity of being in love with someone. Yes, sometimes love can be a wild ride, to say the least.

21— “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?”- by Bryan Adams– My bride basically demanded that this be added to the list as it is one of her favorite songs, if not her ultimate. Whenever I play it, she just melts as we clear the living room floor to dance cheek to cheek. I love it when music gets into the bloodstream, especially my wife’s, because it puts me on a cloud as I know when a song moves me, I want everyone else to love it, just as much as I do. She has made me love this tune more than I ever would have by just watching her eyes when she hears it.

22— “God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys-I know I just said it, but this song also has to be judged as one of the greatest tunes that has ever been recorded. Just ask Paul McCartney. He has stated that this is the best song that has ever been written and who is going to argue with Sir Paul? “Pet Sounds” was the inspiration for “Sgt. Pepper’s,” as we all know by now. “God only knows what I would be without you.” I tell this to my bride all the time.

23— “All You Need is Love” by The Beatles– Hey, if we are talking about how the Beach Boys pushed the Beatles (and vice versa) to be better, I would have to add a Beatle song to this list, right? And what better tune than this masterpiece? It is cliché to say that all we need is love but I honestly believe this is the ultimate truth. As I watched “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” for the “umpteenth” time, the final scenes have made such a profound impact with respect to the concept of love. After Mrs. Prentice, Beah Richards, informs Mr. Drayton (Spencer Tracy) that both he and her husband, (Roy Glenn) have forgotten what it’s like to love someone the way her son (Sidney Potier) loves his daughter (Katherine Houghton), Mr. Spencer retorts that the one mistake that John (or Sidney) made was “attaching so much importance to what her mother and I might think. Because in the final analysis, it doesn’t matter a damn what we think. The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel for each other. And if it’s half of what we felt, that’s everything.” Those sentences by one of the best actors this world has ever witnessed brings a tear to my eye each and every time. The only thing that matters is how you feel- love has no boundaries! Let’s all celebrate Global Love Day by letting those who mean the most to you that you love them as well as spreading love and peace. Godspeed.

Whoops

As a child, one never really comprehends the enormous responsibilities required when converting to the position of becoming a parent or guardian, because if there was ever an application, listing the litany of duties for that position, many prospective aspirants would most likely think twice before attending the initial interview, never mind the second or third rounds. When our first born entered the world, I am not sure what happened, but I was completely engulfed by a primal instinct that was never part of my anatomy. Driving home from the hospital with him fortified in the backseat – like David Blaine was when he was put into that water tank – with the “cruise control” set at 15 m.p.h. while waving every motorist to “go around me” was the beginning of what probably sits atop the obligation list, ensuring they do not get hurt, a love, by the way, that never dissipates, even when they go off on their own.

After approximately two months, I called my mother and thanked her profusely for the innate ability to cultivate an atmosphere that enabled growth with extreme care, which I ignorantly believed required little effort, maybe, in part because she made it look exceedingly undemanding. I never realized that a good night’s sleep would escape me for the rest of my adulthood, once we took him out of the car and brought our bundle of joy up the stairs to unwrap him out of the multi-layers of clothing to keep him warm on that cold December morning. Before leaving the hospital, I offered to pay one of the nurses to stay at our home for two weeks because there was no manual to follow as the whole front desk waved goodbye while informing us that we would be fine. “I have never had the responsibility to ensure that another human continues to breathe, how am I going to be fine?!”

Should we lay him on the side or his back? How about the stomach? “The book says to do this.” Our grandparents and parents scoffed at the book. Before we went to bed, I took a small mirror from my bride from her stack of cosmetic offerings and put it underneath the crib. Each night I would wake up every two hours or so and place this glass reflection underneath his nose to ensure that I saw it fog up. If I could not see it, then I quickly maneuvered it below the chin, with my fingers crossed that condensation would allow for another one hundred and twenty minutes of shut eye. Forget if he cried, I was in the room in nano seconds to comfort as my bride finally convinced me that it would become difficult if I continued down this path as learning the different cries started to become easier.

With no offense to the older generation but I was wondering what to do if someone picked him up and even before there was any fussing occurring, they would shake incessantly or spin in half circles as soon as the baby was put in their arms. You never want to be rude, but the twitching begins as this is your child’s first experience on the “tea cup” ride at Nelly Bly, as I stood there thinking that whatever brain particles are developing are now rattling around in this tiny storage space. And then the routine would go north to south as the bouncing kicked into high gear. I would pray that my child would survive the spin cycle, while waiting for that quarter to expire to end the ride.

Once the offspring begins to walk, making your home “boo-boo” proof becomes of the highest priority as my biggest fear was always having them slip near the living room table because I always pictured the corner as some sort of fish-hook that could take out an eye socket in a blink of an eye. It’s a good thing that I was on the front-nine when the decision to raise a family was made because the energy required was of the highest order, especially if you were like me and literally was their shadow as the first sign of falling down or over, my right arm would fly around their stomach like a boomerang. And when a child graduates to their own bed that is literally twenty-four inches off the ground, meeting each other in the middle of the night would often lead to screams, depending on who scared who first.

When our kids were young, they were allowed to wake up mom but that would change when they grew older because arousing mom in the middle of the night could lead to injury because unlike dad, any interrupted sleep could be met with danger and there is a reason why my clothes are laid out in a different room on the lower floor. One of the many traits that mom passed on down is the ability to walk on my “tippy-toes” because heels create unwanted sounds, especially on hardwood floors, so I was “self-taught” early on in our marriage to never disturb when it was dark outside. But there was this one evening where I was out (it happens just like the recent solar eclipse) and my youngest stood on my bride’s side of the bed without saying a word. Suddenly, I heard my wife scream as I reached for the trusty softball bat besides the bed, assuming there was somebody in the house. As I jumped up, my bride covered our youngest while yelling that it was our son and that she was okay.

When they begin school, the wish to follow them around so that no one bullies them is one of the first times that as parents we learn that at some point “guarding them twenty-four hours a day” is impossible because suffocation can stunt personal growth. Just like in many other aspects of life, things in moderation is probably the best way as opposed to overindulgence. And even when we as parents are right there with our kids, there will be a “whoops” moment where things go awry, followed by a trip to the doctor or the emergency room. When I was young there were instances that I did not follow in the footsteps of Opie or Richie Cunningham and in one particular case, it was my fault that my brother ended up with a broken wrist.

It was the summer and Johnny made his infamous visit to Otisville with us. And as the story goes, Otisville was never the same. Before I get to the tale, after Johnny went back to Brooklyn, the general store made it policy to put all candy and gum behind the glass where only the cashier could get to the products. Big brothers everywhere followed their younger siblings after a week of Brooklyn bullying. Anyway, somehow, I learned that if one slid down a slide with a sheet of wax paper underneath, it would make the trip a lot faster and more fun. So, I devised the plan. We would wait until all the adults left the house and this meant that Pop would be driving Ma to work. As soon as we saw the car leave Orchard Street, I opened the huge kitchen door where thousands of canned goods, jars of jam, and one of the paper products that sat on the bottom shelf. I had no idea why there was wax paper in the house, all I knew was that Ma was not going to miss four-to-five sheets.

The Otisville park used to have one of the tallest slides in “kid history” because even when I was at the top step, I held on to that ladder extremely tight and made sure I sat down before letting go. Sliding the sheet under my shorts was like adding “rocket fuel” because before I knew it, my backside landed hard on the ground. Realizing that the paper disintegrated, we only had one or two more rides before it totally dissolved but the slide was set for speed. Naturally, now there is an “obstacle course” added because we couldn’t just have fun with flying down at a heightened speed. No, so Johnny adds a “tunnel” for us to disperse underneath which I cleared with no problem, as well as Patty. But, as I turned to look up, I saw Rich bounce off Johnny and in a flat second, he flipped over from the top of the slide right to the ground with a crunching noise we will never forget. Thinking he broke at least one leg, we all waited with bated breath, but he slowly stood up as we assumed there was nothing wrong. Until Patty saw a bone almost protruding through his skin near the wrist and actually squeezed it. And to this day, I believe that was the scream that was heard around the entire village of Otisville. I do not think I have ever formally apologized to Rich, and I would like to do that now.

Fast forward to when I am a dad and took my boys roller skating. Acknowledging that I was never a good skater, but I love to have fun and to frolic alongside my offspring was always the highlight of my day. The event is going well as we circled that wooden floor for at least two hours while singing along to the great songs that was being played by the DJ. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my oldest heading for a break and when his skates hit the carpet, he immediately fell face first. If he did not put out his arm to break his fall, there would have been a trip to the emergency room. Turns out we should have. Unbeknownst to me, he was in a lot of pain but did not mention anything because he did not want to ruin our plans for the rest of the afternoon and our intended trip to Central Park the following day. Waking up the next morning, my bride approaches with the intention of going to my orthopedic doctor before we head to New York City.

When she proclaimed that his wrist was broken, I steadfastly disagreed because our son did not display any outward signs of pain, but I agreed because I did not want any further delays. In my mind, there was no way that the examination would display any cracked bones and I was willing to place a bet with my bride. When the doctor entered the room, he immediately said it was a fracture. Whoops. I will never forget my bride’s face as that look is forever etched in my memory bank. Here I was, the father, the protector, and I had no idea that my own son literally walked around with a ruptured arm. What happened to the days of placing a mirror underneath his nose?

One winter night on our way home, I believe it was after a “parent-teacher” conference, my wife pulls into the garage and when I walked out on to the driveway, I informed both boys to be careful because there were ice patches all over as it was one of those storms where it was warm enough to have mixed precipitation during the day but quickly turned to ice because a cold front moved in to the area. Of course, my youngest did not heed the advice. For those who are parents, my assumption is that each child has vast personality differences. For example, our oldest before diving in the deep end of the pool would remain crouched over in a pre-diving position for what seemed like “forever” while our youngest would hop over our fence, fully clothed, and jump right in without even thinking about it. Anyway, he decides that he is going to “ride the ice” with his shoes and instantly ends up on his back, while withering in pain. As we lifted him up, he winced while holding the collar bone. Whoops. It was back in the car for a trip to the Danbury Hospital as he ended up in a cast for at least six weeks. About three years later, as he was coming off an ice-skating rink, he slipped and fell. Whoops. Another trip back to the ER as he broke the same collar bone.

Today’s setlist will deal with unexpected accidents that lead to trips to the doctor or emergency room as well as the beauty of becoming a parent or guardian. It will be a “hodge-podge” of tunes. (Enjoy!)

1— “Speechless” by Alicia Keys—I know I may have touched upon this subject matter (parenthood) but since my cousin and his wife just had a baby, I feel it deserves another discussion. And the stork recently made a delivery to my friend Stu & Shannon, so I will try to add new songs that depict the feeling that overcomes a parent or guardian. “Speechless” is the perfect word to describe the birth of your child. When that little bundle of joy falls asleep on your chest, there is nothing like it in the whole world. “… But now… you take my breath away…” (Spotify does not have this song)

2— “Cecilia and The Satellite” by Andrew McMahon—Wow, talk about a tribute song to a daughter, this brings a tear to the eye. Look at the following lyrics and tell me this does not describe exactly what it is to be a new parent- “… For all the things my hands have held… the best by far is you… If I could fly, then I would know… what life looks like from up above and down below… I’d keep you safe, I’d keep you dry… don’t be afraid…” This is sort of like that “primal instinct” that I described above. Congratulations Andrew & Chelsea! Congratulations Stu & Shannon!  

3— “Glory” by Jay Z— There is something extremely magical on welcoming a baby into the world, both times the tears just flowed down my face without me even knowing that I was crying. The doctor looked at me and said- “why are you crying, she is the one who was in pain.” They were tears of joy. I totally agree with Jay-Z’s lyrics – “… the most amazing feeling I feel… words can’t describe what I’m feelin’ for real… baby I paint the sky blue… my greatest creation is you…” (Spotify does not have this song)

4— “Gracie” by Ben Folds— Another touching tune about welcoming a baby into the world. “… life flies by in seconds… you’re not a baby, Gracie, you’re my friend… you’ll be a lady soon, but until then… you gotta do what I say…” I will say to all those new parents, once you cannot lift them out of the car seat, time will fly by. I always loved carrying them from the car seat while they were sleeping into their bed that was inches off the floor. Those were the days.  

5— “The Sweetest Gift”—by Sade– “It’s a song about all children… and the light that they carry into this world…”  Thanks to a new friend, Andrea, she is a huge fan of Sade and opened my ears to the beauty of her voice, as well as a stellar catalog. Sade wrote this song for her little girl. Thank you, Sade, for this sweetest gift of a song.

6— “Catch Me Now I’m Falling”— by The Kinks- When a child begins to walk, you make sure that you are right there to catch them before they fall. Or when you are teaching them how to ride a two-wheel bicycle, you run along side or behind to ensure that they do not hit the ground hard. Sometimes, when they are older, they may need you to catch them because they are falling. Being a parent or guardian is a lifelong experience and I did not know that fact until our children were born. Yeah, there are those who say- “when they turn 18, they are out” but you all know that is not true. I will say it again- “Low Budget” is a great album and I scratch my head why it never comes up in discussion when the conversation of the best Kinks albums comes up.    

7— “Bad Seamstress Blues/ Fallin’ Apart at the Seams”— by Cinderella- Song one on side one of “Long Cold Winter”, which many of the brethren point to as their best effort and I would have no disagreement. It drives me crazy that the band is labeled as “American Glam Metal,” but I can see why when one only knows the song “Don’t Know What You Got (Until It’s Gone).” The late 1980’s were probably my most favorite music of all-time and this unit was one of the reasons why I loved it, as well as The Crue and G’N’R. Those were the days. Hopefully, no one is falling apart at the seams.    

8— “(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher”— by Jackie Wilson- If there is a “whoops” moment, hopefully you are there to lift that person up off the ground and ensure that your love will make it all better. Did you know that one of Michael Jackson’s idols was none other than Jackie Wilson? Talk about energy? This man embodied an explosion of energy like few others could replicate.  

9— “Higher Ground’”- by Stevie Wonder– Yes you know where I am going with this title, if there is an instance where there is a “whoops” moment, please take that person to a higher ground so they can be in a safe position or get help for them. As mentioned above, we cannot be there every minute of the day and there are going to be accidents but hopefully they are limited to scrapes and bruises.  

10— “Free Fallin’”– by Tom Petty– When my youngest slipped and fell on the ice, it was a true “free fallin’” moment, as there was nothing, we could do to prevent the crash to the ground. Each time I hear this tune, I am back at the kitchen table with mom, dad, Graig, and Johnny on early Sunday morning February 17, 1991- the day we married- as Johnny was serenading the room with his heartfelt rendition of this classic treasure of a song.  

11— “I Stumble In”- by Shaw Blades – Sometimes when there is a “whoops “moment, it could be because there was a stumble somehow involved. I know there are many people who were glad that Jack Blades stumbled into Tommy Shaw and vice-versa. For those who do not know, Jack was from Night Ranger, while Tommy boarded the Styx train early on when the band was looking for another guitarist. Their initial album- “Hallucination”- is filled with some really solid tunes. In 2007, they “re-unionized” and put out “Influence” which is a bunch of covers that help catapult the two into music. By the way, Brian Tichy played drums on most of the tunes- he of “The Dead Daisies” fame but now he will embark on a worldwide tour with Gene Simmons as his drummer.

12— “Stumble and Fall”- by Darlene Love – We all know Darlene usually turns up around the holidays, but she also has a catalog of songs that are wonderful as well. This is Exhibit A, there is a beauty to her voice that is exceedingly identifiable. I sometimes receive “blank stares” when I mention her name. Please folks, I implore you, explore her catalog. When there is a “whoops” moment, it is most likely because of a stumble and fall.

13— “Under the Falling Sky” by Bonnie Raitt– Bonnie is an American Treasure as her talents reign supreme. If there ever was a “finger snapping” song, this is it. Her vocals will mesmerize you and the guitar solo will absolutely floor you. This track flat out grooves! Crank this one up!

14— “Tears are Falling” by KISS– I feel like it has been a while since I have had a KISS song on a setlist, so here is one from “Asylum”, which was the first body of work that Bruce Kulick appeared on as the lead guitarist. (for an entire album) This lineup would last from 1985 through 1991, when unfortunately, the thunderous drummer by the name of Eric Carr (who replaced Peter) passed away on November 24 (same day as Freddie Mercury). Bruce and Eric helped keep KISS current during those years as they thrived under the “hair-band” moniker. This song was played on MTV a lot and there was no makeup, which at that time they did not need. By the way, did you see Gene as a mentor on American Idol? He was fantastic and gave great advice to each contestant.   

15— “Falling To Pieces”- by Faith No More-I am not the “FNM” aficionado and did not know that they had an original singer, Chuck Mosley, but I believe like many other people, I jumped on the bandwagon once Mike Patton was added to the mix, mainly because of the “Epic” song that catapulted them to MTV success. This may have been where Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park had received their influence into the hard rock/rap world as they took it to a nice level. This album came out in 1989 and was right in my wheelhouse.

16— “Falling Down”- by Duran Duran-I know what you may be thinking- I thought I said that I was not a huge fan but like anything else, one’s taste buds can change and now all of a sudden, I am digesting this just like the moment I discovered that I loved “shell fish.” I cheated and sought out their greatest hits. Now it seems like I am coming across a lot of their tunes. We protect our children to ensure they do not fall down but if they do, be there to lift them back up.

17— “Here for You” by Neil Young – Wow, I came across this tune and it is extremely apropos as our offspring have left the nest. Looking through the lyrics it seems to me that Neil is letting his children know that he misses them, but he never wanted to hold them down. And this old heart will continue to beat for them. And he poignantly points out “you might say I’m here for you.” Truer words could not be spoken for me.

18— “Please Help Me, I’m Falling” by The Everly Brothers – This dynamic duo made some incredible music, and their harmonies are hypnotic. If anyone asks for your assistance because they are falling, please offer a hand and a heart. John Fogerty does a nice rendition of this tune, but this one is my “go-to.”

19— “The Mother” by Brandi Carlisle– I may have utilized this in the past, but this is dedicated to every Mother out there, as we approach Mother’s Day. “Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind… you’re tethered to another, and you’re worried all the time…” The video to this song will make you smile and shed a tear.

20— “What I Never Knew I Always Wanted” by Carrie Underwood– I am going to go out on the limb here and say that my bride was not picturing herself as a mother but once her children were born, she became the best one ever (along with all the moms in my family and all around the world, so I do not upset anyone). “… never pictured myself singing lullabies… sitting in a rocking chair in the middle of the night… in the quiet, in the dark… you’re stealing every bit of my heart with your daddy’s eyes… what a sweet surprise…” My assumption is both Chelsea and Shannon are experiencing these exact words with their little boys.

21— “Lullaby”- by The Chicks– “Never knew the best was yet to come… life began when I saw your face…” Powerful lyrics with deep meaning as I absolutely love this tune by these beautiful women from their “landmark” album- “Taking the Long Way.” It is such a wonderful journey being a parent, from the moment they arrive home from the hospital until they maneuver their way around the growing pine tree down the driveway in a Honda Civic.  There may be many “whoops” moments, as well as tough instances, but hopefully it will be filled mainly with joy. Each time I listen to this tune, the tears slowly roll down my face. “Is forever enough?… ‘Cause I’m never, never giving you up.”  

22— “Funny How Time Slips Away” by Willie Nelson– I also may have utilized this song on a past list but in my opinion, it has to appear, especially for those folks who are like myself, on the “back-nine” and have gone through the entire cycle. It is amazing, sometimes funny, how time slips away. For those starting out, there will be times where you feel overwhelmed but those too shall pass. I can recall when our youngest was colic and it seemed that period was never going to end. As previously mentioned, for me, after eighth grade graduation, time really slipped away because next thing I knew college graduation came and went. Hopefully, when all is said and done, there will not be too many “whoops” situations in your life but if they do occur, let your love shine through and healing will eventually come back.

Critters

“What’s that noise?”

If you were reared in a city, especially in an apartment complex, the odds were “pretty good”, that when you turned a light on near the kitchen cupboard, the litany of roaches that scattered about was bountiful as your initial experience may have caused you to jump back but after a while it may have become the norm, especially if there was an “absentee” landlord who refused to hire an exterminator, so you needed to break up the party before they ended up inside your cereal boxes. Those bugs disseminated almost as fast as the neighborhood guys who took off in different directions once they spotted the patrol car coming up from Ninth Avenue, ensuring that their small bags of cannabis remained in their pocket, while I watched from my window on Eighth Avenue. Trying to reign in dad was tough as his determination to rid our home of both annoyances became a daily battle but the one difference was that insects typically do not look to fight back.

Every once in a while, I would see the roaches’ huge cousin, the “water bug,” as their tremendous backside kept the pressure on their tiny legs and they were usually “easy targets” but no one I knew wanted to hear that crunch, so they usually escaped despite not being quick on their feet. And of course, the trusty mouse, has really never left me as I have had the city’s long distant relative, otherwise known as the “field mouse,” still living in our quarters, so much so that I recently received an unmarked envelope addressed to our house where the top of the greasy letterhead said, “Squatter’s Rights.” But I am extremely grateful that the other metropolitan critter, the rat, has not followed us to the suburbs but I know they are out there. They are not as prevalent where I reside, unlike the crisis going on in Manhattan where just about seven years ago as I crossed Amsterdam Avenue on the upper west side, there were at least four crawling in front of me, as the “walk” sign turned green, which they seemingly obeyed as their comfortability was a bit shocking, but at least they adhered to the local traffic ordinances.

Arriving in Ringwood after a quarter of a century amongst two of the five boroughs, my assumption of encountering numerous critters vastly different from the “city folk” proved to be precise as we confronted opossums, racoons, copperheads, and bears. The one common theme in Northern New Jersey is that none of these species wanted to take up residency inside our home. Of course, stumbling upon a bear can take your breath away and each spring we did not let our boys out in the backyard without parental supervision because one never knew when it would make its grand entrance. I will never forget one infamous instance when we were invited to John & Jill’s house for a barbeque just as the trees were budding and the grass needed its first cut of the season. Before I get there, let me describe John. He is a burly man who was a no-nonsense type of person that was gentle, until he wasn’t. There was this time when he and I were walking with our oldest sons’ as they were getting ready to enter kindergarten that autumn. His son somehow tripped and landed face-first on the solid concrete. As he stood up one could see about ten little pebbles stuck in and around his face, while traces of blood began to come into view. I immediately ran to comfort him when John put out his arm (think the bars that go down once you take a ticket to park inside a garage) that hit my stomach as he gestured with his right hand to calm down and let him walk it off. His son did not cry or utter a word once John gave him a look and continued to walk alongside my horrified child.

They lived at the end of the cul-de-sac and the town decided to give a green light to a developer and before you knew it, thousands of trees were eliminated to make way for new homes. Unfortunately, the existing residents on the road now had to look to their left for on-coming cars that were able to knife through our street as an alternate route to get to the center of town. Once nightfall would arrive, John would call me to come down to his house. As he came into view, there was this huge boulder of a rock next to him and he says, “come on, help me push this in front of this entrance.” Seeing the intensity in his eyes, I never even thought of declining but was afraid that a blood vessel inside my body was going to burst, maybe multiple, because this stone was up to my chest. Almost like a defensive lineman who would hit those “escape sleds” with a thunderous blow, he obviously took on the brunt of the work, as we were successful with obstructing any vehicle who tried to squeeze by and we would watch from his window as frustrated drivers would try to move it to the side, but there was no way one person could even budge it. They had to back up and go another way. Then one night, the town troopers arrived at our door to ask if they had seen anyone “relocating” the stone. Once that occurred, I was out.

Anyway, as we are cleaning up their backyard, all of us are inside the house and all of a sudden, we hear a loud crash on the back deck. We scurry to the kitchen window and looking down there was this huge bear sitting on top of his wooden table chewing on the numerous amount of ice cubes that flew out of the king-sized bag. The sound of his teeth clamping down on the ice is something that I will never forget. John calmly informed this tremendous animal to leave the premises and after about five minutes, tiring of the bland taste of the cubes, it slowly walked away.

Once we arrived in the Nutmeg state, I noticed hundreds of chipmunks running from hole to hole from our back window and almost each time I walked out on to the driveway. The number of deer we see each day is impressive and every once in a while, the snapping turtle makes its way back into the neighborhood. His initial visit into our home was one of the most surprising because as we all know, they walk extremely slowly, right? Well somehow, he slipped through the cracks and landed underneath my bride’s vehicle, which was parked inside our garage. I must not have noticed this leisurely reptile strolling up the driveway while I was mowing the lawn and I surmise that he needed a hiding spot as he probably saw me coming back. The next day I noticed an exceedingly strong odor emerging from what I thought were the trash cans, so I cleansed them in the driveway. The following day, the aroma was still prevalent and growing in intensity as I searched everywhere to try to determine its origin. On that Wednesday morning, when I put out the trash for pickup, the stench was unbearable. Finally, I lowered myself into a “plank” position to look underneath my bride’s car and almost had my nose bitten off by the tremendous snapping turtle. Startled, I jumped up and despite the day being only five hours old, I threw caution into the wind, while waking up my wife. I dragged her by the hand as she was trying to comprehend why I would ever wake her up that early, but she would never have believed me.

I thought by waving my arm this would encourage movement, but I found out that a turtle in distress can be extremely “quick” as his head thrusted towards me at lightning speed. My wife recommended the broom and when I pushed him, his legs, along with his head remained inside the shell as I could not budge it. Each time I swept; one leg would clamp down on the floor which made it almost impossible to move it as I did not want to harm him. Then I grabbed the snow shovel and swooped him off the ground. In a scene out of a horror movie, his head emerges as well as all of his legs. The snapping turtle begins to crawl its way up the handle heading right at his enemy. I ran as fast as I could, while trying to balance one of the heaviest piles of snow ever and made it to my neighbor’s house across from us because there was a stream that I thought he could use since he was spending time together at our garage for three days. As I laid him on the ground, he was still upset and started his way after me, so I took off and was gone before it took about two steps. Needless to say, it was a lesson learned as I usually close the garage door behind me, almost immediately because if a slow-footed reptile can enter, imagine what else could?

Before long, the aforementioned field mice began to set up shop inside the attic and other places as I have always stated that I should charge a monthly rent because it’s obvious they have room & board. The last five summers we have had a large woodchuck living under our shed in the backyard and two years ago, he actually was able to enter the garage as I quickly went inside to grab something. When I opened the door, I saw him and assumed he would exit through the large opening. But no, “Chuck,” as we refer to him, hid behind some boxes. I figured I would slam one of my softball bats on the first step down and of course, I missed. The head of the bat landed right on my big toe and then my scream of pain startled him as he bolted out of the garage, as I ended up with a broken toe.

But the most improbable situation occurred (actually twice) one night in late spring/early summer after we went to bed. The day was roughly three hours old when my bride and I heard this “scratching” or “scraping” noise. My wife then exclaimed the aforementioned statement at the top of this post as we knew this could not be a mouse. Putting the bedroom light on, we continue to hear this noise and at “3:00 a.m.” it was loud as the fear of the unknown was upon us. The noise ends, so we did not see anything and turned the light off assuming it was over. Then I felt something fly over our heads. I put the light on and there is a bat flapping wildly against the walls as my bride let out a scream that I will never forget. What did I do? I closed the door behind me, locking her in while she put the covers over her head as the squeals from both became louder. “Where are you going?!” I quickly run to the garage to retrieve one of the oversized whiffle ball bats, ensuring that it was contained in the one room.

Coming back in, I cocked my left elbow while gripping with my right hand and with one fell swoop knocked it to the ceiling as it landed on the bed unconsciously. Needless to say, my wife was already out of the bed as I took the sheets and flapped it outside on the back deck. It slowly came back to life and flew away. About two weeks later, as we were preparing for dinner, out of the corner of my eye, I see another bat fly right over my youngest’s head as he was eating. It makes its way into the kitchen and goes unnoticed as I try not to startle my wife. After it flies to the end of the house, it begins its way back and that is when my bride saw it. She let out a scream, “BAT!!!” as she and my offspring ran for the exits. I headed back to the garage again but this time I retrieved one of the “crabbing” nets that we utilized at the Cape, when we were on the beach. For approximately fifteen minutes this flying mammal went into each room as I had no idea how to get it out of the house. Then I realized that I could open the sliding door for the entrance to our back deck, which also had a screen one after it. The bat flew right to the screen as it claws were moving feverously as I quickly closed the main door. Waiting for it to submerge just enough where I could move the screen door to have a slight opening. As soon as there was enough room, I slid the first one open, then pushed the screen to the right, which gave him an open look to the backyard and then slammed the main door shut. Finally, after about five minutes, the bat realized that it could fly away and did just that.

I found out quickly that calling Terminix or Orkin does not work because creatures like bats require far more attention to detail than just an application of “bug spray.” And of course, the company that I researched had one of “those guys,” who proceeded to give me the history of a bat, from its early origins to the number of species that reside in the state of Connecticut. “You have thousands of bats in your attic” is what he informed us as our faces dropped to the floor. My first instinct was to call another firm, but we needed them out of the residence. On a side note, when he walked around our house to point out the numerous ways they were getting in, as we turned at the east end, there was a buck that was standing basically four feet from us. I was always told to run as fast as you can if you ever see a deer lift its front leg and that’s exactly what I did as I left that man in a blaze before he ever turned around. The joys of living in the woods.

Apparently, there are two types that do not leave the area once the winter starts and when they fly over a chimney that is exuding heat, they made their way in through the slightest opening (which we had sealed) and settled into the insulation to remain warm throughout the winter. Once it begins to become too hot, they seek escape and yes ended up inside the house. The company was able to affix an exit and covered the rest of the spots where they thought the bats were entering. For the past fifteen years, we have not noticed but last December my bride and I thought we heard some rattling in the attic after Rick pointed out “bat droppings” outside of our side sliding doors. We will see.

Today’s setlist will deal with the various “critters” that we have encountered over the past twenty years and will contain words such as “Bat,” or “Rat,” or any other “creatures” that are part of nature in the title or any others that I see fit. By the way, today is International Bat Appreciation Day as we are to recognize the roles that they play in our everyday lives. (Enjoy!)

1— “See You Later Alligator” by Bill Haley & The Comets—Bill and his Comets were an incredible unit that stood out amongst the many who were at the forefront of something called rock and roll. When you watch the “video” to this song, it is absolutely flawless and the only thing I want to do is dance around the room like no one is watching. I always loved it when dad would play Bill and his team because I knew I would be moving at the breakfast table while eating my cereal. I cannot even imagine coming upon an alligator like the folks in Florida have to look out for each time they go for a walk. I’ll take a fox and a buck any day over an alligator.

2— “Running Bear” by Johnny Preston—Wow this is a blast from the past. As I mentioned we would see bear each spring in Ringwood and have only come across one so far in the twenty plus years here in the Nutmeg state. I remember as a kid hearing and loving the groove, it was only when I became an adult how I realized how dire the lyrics were as it depicts a love story that ends tragically.  

3— “Spiders & Snakes” by Jim Stafford— For the folks who are “of age,” do you remember the last time you heard this classic? It was played incessantly when it was released in 1974. “She said… I don’t like spiders and snakes… and that ain’t what it takes to love me… like I wanna be loved by you…” When we first arrived in Connecticut, I will never forget the first time I saw what I assumed is a “wood spider” as it took up most of the step on our internal stairway to go up and down to each level. I have softballs all over the house, so I went back to a room where I knew there were some and used the old underhand release with a spin to clear the way. I do not like spiders cause I feel like they are crawling on my neck.

4— “Horse With No Name” by America— Okay maybe a horse is a stretch, but we all know on our drives across country we have witnessed horses… and cattle. But whenever I can put a great song on to the list, I will do it. Can you imagine that America celebrated its “fiftieth” anniversary nearly two years ago? What is happening? I know that this is blasphemous but each time I hear this tune, I can picture “Joey” standing in the desert with a handful of balloons as the entire production set is driving away after he informed Chandler that the movie was going to be his big break in Las Vegas.

5— “Blackbird”—by Beyonce– Have you heard this incredible rendition of the Beatles classic? “Cowboy Carter” is stellar, and this has to be considered one of the highlights. Even Mr. McCartney has hailed it as a super achievement.  Written in tribute to the civil rights movement, it brings a tear to the eye when you listen to Beyonce’s vocals, as well as the bountiful number of backup singers, who knock it out of the park.

6— “White Rabbitt”— by Jefferson Airplane- Arguably and possibly the number one song of the 1960’s, no? Grace’s vocals are mysterious and seductive. “Go ask Alice when she is ten feet tall.” I think if I come back as an animal, it will be a rabbit because the only time I really ever see a “bunch” is early in the morning and I have always been an early riser. And they are fast, which at one point in my life, I could say was an attribute.    

7— “Rockin’ Robin”— by Bobby Day- I know my dad loved the music from 1957 and this was one of the most popular tunes to come out that year. I love the Jackson 5’s rendition but I had to go with the original. My bride loves to watch the birds in our backyard and always sets up “houses” for them on the front porch so the birds can raise their young.   

8— “When Doves Cry”— by Prince- As I have stated numerous times on this page, I believe this tune was the most played song of the 1980’s and it lands in my top fifty songs of all-time. I know we usually mention doves around the holidays, but I see them all around the house now, they are amazing birds.

9— “Fox on the Run’”- by Sweet– As I mentioned in the “walking” post there was a “fox on the run” on Gillotti Road and if not for a car coming in its direction, who knows if the fox would have attacked me. I was grateful and after that “event” I decided to end my “early morning” walks. This band was severely underrated, in my opinion, and sadly the last founding member – Frank Torpey- passed on March 23^rd. His role was short and “sweet” as Andy Scott eventually replaced him. Mr. Scott is still active and is the last surviving member of their “best known lineup.”

10— “Hungry Like a Wolf”– by Duran Duran– “Pop rock”- okay I have stated that I will try to stay away from labels but when I was seventeen, this classic tune was released. Now, of course, the school yard professors would not even entertain a discussion on this, so it was never mentioned and because I was “knee deep” into the heavier side (for me) of the artform, I could never admit that I liked this song. Again, I acknowledge their impact, as I was never a huge fan but recognize that this song could arguably sit atop all of the tracks recorded during the decade of 1980.

11— “The Spider”- by Kansas – In Rocktober 1977, one of the biggest albums that changed my life forever was “Point of Know Return” by Kansas as I obsessively listen to it so much so that I wore out the inner sleeve in a matter of weeks. And it kills me to isolate “The Spider” on its own because I really wanted to add “Portrait (He Knew)” because in my mind, they go together. This instrumental was crafted by Steve Walsh, who actually left the band during the recording because, in his own words, he had been a “prima donna.” The “weirdness” of this tune has me imagining a spider crawling up a wall, thinking that no one sees it.

12— “Bat Out of Hell”- by Meatloaf – Remaining in Rocktober 1977, Meatloaf (along with Jim Steinman) released his epic debut, with Todd Rundgren as the producer. Imagine releasing a nearly ten-minute song as the first track on side one of an album? I love the fact that the record company executives could not tell Meat, Jim, or Todd that they could not put it as the lead because it is nothing less than spectacular. In my opinion, the first song on his debut album is the greatest tune he ever sung. I know the entire body of work is flawless, but this tune goes over and above. And believe it or not, that is Todd Rundgren on lead guitar. Meatloaf will forever remind me of Cathy. My favorite part of the song occurs at the 8:14 mark when he exclaims- “Then I’m down at the bottom of the pit in the blazing sun… Oh torn and twisted at the foot of a burning bike…”

13— “Rats” by Pearl Jam– I know I jumped on the PJ bandwagon once “Vs.” was released in Rocktober 1993 and this was one of the attractions as the groove was extremely infectious. I could not believe someone wrote a song about rats, but the world changed once Nirvana and Pearl Jam emerged and never looked back. I love how you might think that the tune is going to end around the 2:50 mark but it continues with the funkified flow.

14— “Run with The Wolf” by Rainbow– Folks, I implore you to own the Rainbow album called “Rising,” as it showcases the extreme talents of each member, including the late Ronnie James Dio. (Of course, Ritchie Blackmore). If you are a fan of the legend, please make sure you watch “Dio: Dreamers Never Die” as it is one of the best documentaries in the past five years. Thank goodness I have never run into a wolf.  

15— “Bulls on Parade”- by Rage Against the Machine-Okay I recognize that this is a huge stretch but somewhere in the universe bulls run free, right? I will never forget the first time I heard this track; I was immediately polarized and bought the album in nano seconds. K-ROCK in NYC played it twenty times a day as Morello’s guitar riff could be heard in unison at every beach around the world. I remember riding back and forth to the Ringwood softball games with the Orange Crush with this blasting and the guys would look in shock as I did not open the windows just to keep the flavor trapped inside the four doors. They would see my head banging north to south as they shook theirs in disbelief (or maybe disgust?) on how I could listen to such noise. CRANK THIS ONE WAY UP, especially the guitar solo at the 2:28 mark.

16— “Rats in the Cellar”- by Aerosmith-If I did not put this on the list, I think Grace would have flipped. I know this selection is acceptable because this is the early stuff, which I know she loves. Most of the brethren point to “Rocks” as their best effort ever- I have no disagreements.

17— “Rattlesnake Shake”- by Motley Crue– In my mind, Lars heard this specific song off of “Dr. Feelgood” and decided to hire Bob Rock to do their next album. There is no denying The Crue’s hold on the music world during the late 1980’s as this body of work catapulted them to stardom level, in my opinion. Call it polished hard rock as opposed to the grit of their debut, but I love both. Seeing them at the height of the career for this tour at MSG was one of my concert highlights, especially when Tommy was dangling high above us. (Not the way he was strapped in on the final tours). One of my friends on the Orange Crush opened his garage door to find a copper head hissing towards him. He called the town hall, and they told him it was his responsibility to remove it from his home. Ouch.    

18— “The Full Bug” by Van Halen – I know lots of folks have a problem with “Diver Down” but there were some golden nuggets, as evidenced by this well-known classic by the Van Halen congregation. If you were a fan back in the day, you listened to every song so there is no way a true VH fan does not know this tune. I know Diamond Dave is a “handful” and loves to play the villain but his skill on the harmonica on this track is almost as staggering as Eddie’s guitar solo. “Ah precious sweetheart.” Too much to take, crank this one way up!  

19— “Mighty Mouse” by Tesla – Tesla made its triumphant return to the House of Blues in Las Vegas over the past two weeks as Brian, Pam, Brianna, and I returned for the opening night as they tore it up. (The next night we drove to their home in Arizona to catch Godsmack at an outdoor festival). When Tesla reformed in 2004, I was extremely grateful because I love each and every album but this body of work- “Into the Now”- is my personal favorite because it solidified that they had “plenty left in the tank.” Last week I wrote about “Underdog” and now this week, “Mighty Mouse.” “Save us from ourselves before we lose it all.” Truer words could not be more appropriate.

20— “3 Birds” by The Dead Weather – Once I discovered “The White Stripes” my obsession with Jack White was on as I followed him to his various projects, which included the “super group”, The Dead Weather. This is off their debut album that was issued in 2009. The weirdness reminds me of the classic Hitchcock “The Birds.” Yes, I even have a story about a bird being trapped in our garage. I tell you, it is like they are waiting for me to open the door as these various “critters” just make their way in and this one time, a small bird flew in and settled high above where the Christmas decorations are stored. No matter what we did to try and make it leave, it just stared at us. I believe four days later, she finally “flew the coop.”  

21— “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd– “What song is it that you want to hear?” In my opinion, while growing up as a teenager, this was the ultimate song ever as even the garage bands in Brooklyn were trying to replicate this legendary track. And I know, this is in the vein of “Stairway,” so if your inclination is too skip over this, I completely understand.  One night as I was traveling home on Metro North, there was this dude who was playing his acoustic guitar to a “car full” of commuters who just wanted peace but there was no room to move. After he finished a tune, I yelled out “Free Bird.” Well, that sent him over the top as he scoured the car trying to find the culprit as I continued to write the blog. He was beyond upset.

22— “Chasing Birds” by Foo Fighters– Taking it down from the line of “heavy” songs, especially the ending of the last tune, to a dreamy state of mind by none other than the Foo’s. Folks, if you are a fan of the Fighters, you have to agree that “Medicine at Midnight” is a solid album. If not, I would love to hear the reason(s) why. In my opinion, this tune is one of the best tracks the band has ever recorded. The first thing I do when I hear it is to look up in the sky while allowing my eyes to chase those birds while wishing I could fly. While up there I would say hello to Taylor as well as all those close who have gone on to the other side. And unfortunately, that now includes a second cousin of ours, Jimmy, who suddenly passed last week in Arizona. My thoughts and prayers are with his dad, Bob, and his wife, as well as his brother, John. Jimmy will be missed, especially by his wife and their children. Godspeed.