STUCK

Do you remember the first day of school between the ages of seven and eleven? Chances were good that you were outside the premises waiting for each teacher to gather his or her students before you were allowed to enter the building with familiar faces as well as some new candidates that just moved into the area. If you were reared in the suburbs, the backdrop was most likely this lovely scenery with the campus sitting amongst the grassy knolls, accompanied with trees everywhere except near the complex, as well as an open field to run around during the summer and a slight hill that made it a perfect spot to sleigh ride either on a snow day or weekend.

If you are a city dweller, like I was, odds are better that you are “caged” into the school yard with your buddies sitting on the slight concrete ledge that housed the fence that was at least twelve feet tall but you could never lean back because the bottom part was always loose, most likely in part because all the neighborhood teenagers lifted it up as a short-cut to escape the team that was chasing you as part of “Coco-Levio” or maybe running from the local police. And as the clock ticked closer to nine, the amount of people stuck in this confined area could have caused of life of feeling claustrophobic for a portion of the population, especially for those school yards who were forced to house an “Annex” right in the middle of what used to be the concrete softball diamond or basketball court. When is this logjam going to clear up so that we can get on with our day of learning?

And if you are of age where you knew what “Ticketron” was, you know that it was “first come, first serve” for the hottest shows that you wanted to attend while in high school. If I am remembering correctly, there was this video store on fourth avenue in the “sixties” in Sunset Park (or maybe technically Bay Ridge) that contained a window (think “OTB,” again for those of age) where you could purchase concert tickets for a whole eighteen dollars, which back then was half my paycheck for a week’s worth of delivering newspapers. But the key was that you had to get there early. I remember the first time I walked from our house on “Fifty-Third and Eighth” and to my utter disgust, the line of people in single file stretched into the “70’s.” And that window was at least three hours from opening. Talk about feeling stuck? But do you know what? I would take going back to wait on line any day of the week over what Ticketmaster and Live Nation have done to obtaining tickets, who both have ruined everything.

If you grew up in the suburbs, once you arrived in high school, the desire to drive a vehicle to and from is most likely the ultimate goal besides obtaining a diploma. Since I was reared in the city, the urge to drive was somewhat muted until the realization that going out on a date needed four wheels instead of subjecting that someone special to chaffing caused by the uncomfortable saddle, they will have to hold on to while you are basically peddling in a standing position. As a child and early teenager, I was never really exposed to many traffic delays because most trips were to Staten Island. And even when we made the long excursion to Otisville, it occurred mainly on the weekends.

I have always maintained that if one really fancies to be a terrific driver, then they should head over to the “FDR highway” that snakes along the east side of New York City because if you are able to circumvent all the turns as you swerve to avoid the car that is seemingly separated by a sheet of loose-leaf paper at a high rate of speed, then you can drive anywhere. I remember the first few times piloting through the “best Hot-Wheels” track ever and being highly intimidated by the experienced yellow-taxi operators, who would slide in & out of the three lanes with exact precision. Driving with fear would be sniffed out in nano seconds as any car or truck would eat you alive if you did not stand your lane. And the other thing that occurs on this passageway is a ton of congestion.

Once we moved to the Nutmeg state, I utilized the “FDR” on almost a weekly basis as I either drove to the city for work because of a softball game at Randall’s Island or a concert. Little by little, (before “Waze”) one would have to build in “at least fifteen minutes” for being stuck in traffic. Most times one could tell whether or not there would be a jam up of vehicles because it usually occurred as you drove underneath the Brooklyn or Manhattan bridges. As mentioned, I built in a “buffer” and if it extended an exceptional amount beyond a half an hour, I would typically find an alternate route. On this one occasion, during the summer, I was cruising along and just as I passed the 14^th street exit, the sea of red lights started to settle in, so I fell in behind the long line of automobiles assuming it was sort of like the Southern State Parkway (in Long Island) where you can pick up speeds that are above the posted limits, then you are at a standstill without any warning or reason. Since I was parked, I closed my windows to blast the music figuring a couple of songs would take my mind off the delay.

There were no emergency vehicles that were trying to make their way through the crowd, nor did I see any flashing lights towards the 34^th street exit and the assumption was an accident. Fifteen minutes turned into thirty and then forty-five. Looking to my left, I see my neighbor emerge from his car and walk up the extensive line of vehicles. “Where is he going? What if the congestion breaks up?” He vanished for another twenty minutes before returning and by that time, the rest of us were laying down on the hoods of our cars catching the best sun tan, with some nodding out in sleep. This man was now the most sought-after person as people were jumping to their feet asking about this long hindrance. Unbelievably, he had no answer because each automobile that he had passed had no response to his questioning and once he realized the walk was too lengthy, the return to our area began. Folks, after a two-hour interruption, all vehicles started to move slowly and once at the next exit, the space in-between each automobile was at least “three car lengths” as everyone was exceeding the speed limit by at least fifteen miles per hour. Never did I see an emergency vehicle, nor did neither of the “all-news” radio stations mention anything about a jam on the FDR.  It took me a full ten years before I utilized the FDR again, and that was only because my bride was in the front seat stating that “Waze” is always correct. As usual she was right.

Sunday March 18, 2018, was one of the best days ever as we celebrated a milestone birthday with my father and the memories created from those moments will last a lifetime. I was responsible for the setlist of songs and there was only one tune that my dad did not like out of a four-hour journey through his music. Traveling to Staten Island from Connecticut became “second nature” as we have discovered multiple routes since the invention of Waze and Google Maps. After the party ended, I took my youngest in my car because college courses were awaiting for him on Monday morning as my bride and our oldest took the Mary Kay mobile back home. After exiting the Tappan Zee bridge, we made our way to Route 95 as this was the most direct way instead of taking the Merritt Parkway for the entire trip, which was over one hundred miles.

The journey was going to take us at least two hours and fifteen minutes with barely any traffic. Remaining on ninety-five for as long as I could because unrealistically it was moving along at a nice pace, I exited to take the Merritt as it was only a few more miles to gain access to the downtown area of New Haven. As we are entering on this long road, we can see cars approaching from another access way to our right. Then we see the “sea of red lights” as we slowly roll up behind one vehicle because there is only room for a single automobile. But unlike the FDR, there are grassy knolls to our left and especially to our right. Both of us had a bad feeling as it was only a matter of time before I shut the vehicle down just as I had done on the FDR. My youngest is witnessing an extraordinary amount of cars making their way down the off-path and leaving tire tracks all over these empty spots that are supposed to be scenic as well as driving against the entrance for the Merritt along the side. “Dad, come on you can do it, look at how all these other people are performing that maneuver.” I was actually thinking about it but with my luck the state troopers would arrive to greet us, and the fear of the unknown kept me there as I needed to put the car back on because unlike the summer, March has cold nights.

As the late afternoon turned into evening, we sat there with the hundreds of cars in front of us wondering if we were ever going to move. The university was literally less than five miles away and we were stuck like never before. Finally, after one and a half hours, we could see brake lights begin to slowly flash before our eyes. We both then looked at each other and said- “could it be true?!” As the traffic started to crawl along, it was a matter of minutes before we were traveling at the speed limit of sixty-five as my youngest kept searching for something that would indicate a reason for the backlog. But again, there were no signs anywhere and no mention on 1010 WINS or News 88 radio. And the trip back to our house was another sixty-five minutes for me by myself after the drop-off. By the time I arrived home, it was past my bedtime for a Sunday night. A long ending to a wonderful day.

About four years ago, I made my late afternoon trip into New York City to attend a concert at Madison Square Garden (this “tradition” may be coming to an end this June once the city implements its “congestion pricing” which I believe will be a hard $15 charge for any car entering south of 60^th street) and try to situate myself somewhere around the 72^nd subway station. After the show ended, I took the #3 train two stops and walked down to the west side where my car was stationed at 79^th street. It was close to midnight, and I was anticipating a smooth ride the entire way. Breezing along the west side highway, one enters underneath the George Washington bridge to head to the Henry Hudson parkway. And then it happens, that “sea of red lights” as I can see NYC police officers with crosswalk barriers directing all the cars to exit at Riverside drive (the last possible exit before the bridge). I roll down the window to ask what is happening. “There is road work being done on the bridge.” They couldn’t have let all the traffic know about this when we were all in Manhattan instead of right before the Henry Hudson Bridge? A line of hundreds of cars had to snake through the narrow streets back to upper Manhattan to cross over to the east side as the next day was one hour old. It took ninety minutes just to get to the east side and I arrived home when the day was almost three hours done. Talk about being stuck?

Today’s setlist will contain songs that deal with being stuck in line, traffic, or any other situation where waiting is a virtue. (Enjoy!)

1— “Stuck in the Middle with You” by Stealers Wheel— Do you recognize the lead singers voice? It is none other than Gerry Rafferty, who went on to a distinguished solo career. “… well, I don’t know why I came here tonight… I got the feelin’ something ain’t right…” If you are stuck somewhere, it is obviously better if you are stranded with your loved one or best friend, even if you are stuck in the middle of traffic. On a side note, once I moved to the Nutmeg state, I eventually dropped my season tickets to the N.Y. Jets because I was always stuck in traffic jams on the George Washington bridge. And the NFL always scheduled a Jets home game on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, that was the final straw as the entire world is traveling back home on that day.

2— “Freedom Rider” by Traffic—Okay stay with me, the name of the band is Traffic, and we all want to be a freedom rider when stuck in a jam. Folks, I don’t know if I have ever implored you to have “John Barleycorn Must Die” in your musical library but it is of the utmost importance that you not only listen but own. Steve Winwood is a musical genius, and this album is one of the many Exhibits. I cannot forget Jim Capaldi, who assisted Steve in writing Traffic’s songs. There are a total of six songs, three on each side, for a total of thirty-five minutes- every song is great.

3— “Stuck on You” by Elvis— “… You can shake an apple off an apple tree… shake-a, shake-a sugar, but you’ll never shake me… Uh-uh-uh… no-sir-ee, uh, uh… I’m gonna stick like glue… stick because… I’m stuck on you…” How can anyone not like this song? I believe it is impossible. It is probably my most favorite Elvis tune, if not in my top five.

4— “Crosstown Traffic” by Jimi Hendrix— Is this not one of the coolest recordings in the history of music? Even when one listens in 2024, it sounds contemporary as this has to be one of the slickest grooves and there is nothing to do but head-bang your way into oblivion. I remember when I was working on the east side of Manhattan and needed to go to the west side because J&R Music store was on its last legs as I needed the latest Metallica release, so I took a New York City bus. We were truly stuck in crosstown traffic, and I jumped off the bus after only two stops. I walked straight up the same block that the bus route was destined and beat it to the store by at least ten minutes. By the way, “Electric Ladyland” is absolutely mesmerizing.  

5— “One Way Traffic”—by Red Hot Chili Peppers– If you are unfamiliar with the RHCP sound (which is virtually impossible but let’s assume) then I would say that if you listen to this track, this has everything that defines this band. One can also tell that Rick Rubin’s touch is all over this tune. Each member of this unit is extraordinary and if you have never seen them in concert, you are deeply missing out.

6— “Close to the Borderline”—by Billy Joel– I know it can be hard sometimes, but you have to keep things in check so that you don’t get close to the borderline when stuck in traffic or in line at the DMV. As mentioned, multiple times over the years, “Glass Houses,” was the only Billy Joel album that I purchased as a teenager and this “rock” song is the main reason. I wish that Billy would craft another body of work just like this one because it is clear that he loves rock and roll.

7— “Manhattan Sky Line”— by David Shire- Who does not love the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever? The number of times that I have been stuck in my car with the Manhattan Sky Line in my view are too many to count. This soundtrack is arguably the greatest in the history of music.

8— “The Groove Line”— by Heatwave- While you are waiting on line wouldn’t it be nice to have a song like this playing in the background because it would definitely take your mind off of things as you begin to dance either by yourself or with the people in front or behind you. I believe I have utilized this tune before but could not remember for which post, oh well, it is so good that you can listen again. “Leave your worries behind!… We’re riding on the groove line tonight… Oooh- Oooh”   

9— “Borderline”- by Madonna– Again please do not loose your cool when you are close to the borderline as it does no one good. I was up to my eyeballs in Van Halen when this song was released in 1983 and I could never let the schoolyard professor’s of hard rock & heavy metal know that I secretly loved this tune, but I did. Whenever I worked at Omaha Beef on Saturday morning’s this song had a heavy rotation on WBLS or Z-100 and I never changed the station when this was played. “Something in the way you love me… won’t let me be… I don’t want to be your prisoner, so baby won’t you set me free…” Crank this one way up and dance around the room like no one is watching.

10— “No Line on the Horizon”– by U2–There are moments when you are stuck in traffic where you can either not see or feel a line on the horizon as you wonder why construction cannot take place in the overnight hours. U2 and Pearl Jam are similar for me in the sense that I leave and come back. In 2009, when I heard “Moment of Surrender” I was back on the bus for U2, and I have loved every song on this “Magnificent” album. “No… no line on the horizon… no… no line…” I love it when Bono holds the long note- “ooohhhh” at the 2:11 mark and always make the dogs in my neighborhood run for cover because I try to imitate. I would make comparisons to the legendary “Joshua Tree” with my oldest as he said he would “go crazy” if I continued to be blasphemous. I recognize the stature of “Joshua Tree” and have stopped the madness.

11— “Hold the Line”- by Toto –This has to be considered to be one of the greatest rock songs ever and when it was released, I put it on the same level as “My Sharona” by the Knack, I don’t know why but those two songs during the 1970’s are phenomenal. The worst part about waiting on line or being stuck in traffic is having to use the restroom. If you ask someone to “hold the line” for you, when you come back there will be “cat calls” from the back to not cut the line, right? Love the guitar solo that begins at the 1:48 mark. I would have to think that this is their “heaviest” tune, no? This is pure genius.

12— “Move Me on Down the Highway”- by ZZ Top –All the instances we are stuck in traffic, the one wish is to have Gazoo or Jeanie blink and move me on down the highway, no? With no offense to the band or its brethren but early ZZ Top is the best. Billy Gibbons is usually highlighted as one of the best living guitarists’ and his vocal prowess is the definitive sound of ZZ Top. Rest in peace, Dusty, the brethren sorely miss you.

13— “Don’t Stop” by Fleetwood Mac– Arguably the biggest hit song from “Rumors,” no? If there ever was a “perfect song,” I would cast my vote for this track as it had everything- a hook, fantastic lead vocals, groove, and the musicianship is flat-out incredible. When we are riding down the highway, we are thinking please “don’t stop” because no one wants to see the red break lights. If anyone drives down 684 South, you know the feeling as the three-lane highway turns into two lanes before entering the “Hutch” and more times than not, there is a sea of red brake lights.   

14— “Stop, Stop, Stop”- by The Hollies– Either the backup of cars or police officers are the ones that are screaming “Stop, stop, stop,” right? In my opinion, the Hollies were one of the first bands to craft the perfect pop song as their two-to-three-minute tasty dishes are the reason songs like this remain in your head all day long as you cannot stop singing the chorus. The band members were numerous, but the catalog is deep and awaiting your perusal.

15— “The Road’s Still Long”- by Cinderella-After waiting in a traffic jam, many times the road is still long for you to travel and what better way to pass the time than listening to this severely underrated band, named Cinderella. It is such a shame the originals could not put aside their differences, but I am forever grateful that I was able to see them in 2010. Tom has been healthy and is still touring while mixing in his new stuff with the classic Cinderella tunes.

16— “Long, Long Way From Home”- by Foreigner– Most times when we are stuck, we are a long, long way from home. Song one on side two of the classic debut album remains as tasty as it was back in 1977. If anyone wants to know why I wanted to be Lou Gramm, listen to his vocal prowess on this tune and you will recognize the greatness. The original six members made some fantastic music and I love the fact that they are in the top five of the fan vote for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. People everywhere are coming out of the woodwork to scream from the rooftops that Foreigner needs to be inducted. With no offense to the current team, whom I recognize have been in the band for almost two decades, I would say that if they have released at least one album of new material, they could have been included but that never happened. I am sorry but I can’t see Kelly Hansen standing next to Lou at the ceremony.   

17— “It Won’t Be Like This for Long”- by Darius Rucker – How many times did my son and I look at each other and say “it won’t be like this for long” as we were stuck on the Merritt. Was pretty shocked about Darius’s recent run in with the law and hope he is doing better. For some reason, I love the “country” side of him, as opposed to his alter ego in “Hootie.” The man can sing.

18— “Rest Stop” by Matchbox Twenty -How many times when you feel like you are trapped with nowhere to go, you wish there were a rest stop. I am forever grateful to Dianne for turning me on to Matchbox Twenty as “Mad Season” is one of my ultimate albums of all-time. This tune could just be the best of the bunch. I remember walking out of Madison Square Garden in 2001 with a big smile on my face as I knew the younger generation was in good hands with this extremely talented band. Rob Thomas is flat out incredible.

19— “Don’t Stop Dancing’” by Creed – Creed is back! It’s been a long time for Mr. Scott Stapp and above all else, I am extremely glad that he is now healthy. I saw them in their heyday at a sold-out Madison Square Garden when they tore the roof off but then was able to take it down with beautiful songs like this. His vocals are extremely identifiable. “Children don’t stop dancing… believe you can fly… away…” He has this way of taking you “higher.”

20— “Memories Down the Line” by Kansas – Even being trapped or stuck in line creates memories down the line because we never forget those moments, despite the pain. I know what you are thinking- why am I okay with Ronnie Platt singing for Kansas when no one could ever replace Steve Walsh… or Robbie Steinhardt for that matter. And the answer is they have continued to make contemporary music. And Ronnie can sing the old classics. My prayers are with Phil Ehart, founding member and drummer, who currently is home resting after a heart attack. And yes, I know that in the past two years there have been numerous changes with the lineup, but Lou Gramm means a lot more, I guess.  

21— “Stuck on You” by Lionel Richie– What a fantastic song and when you step back to look at Lionel’s career, it is astounding. This starts off kind of like a Jim Croce tune. This is probably the best “stuck” scenario, right? When you are with the love of your life, there is nothing better. I love the bridge at the 1:46 mark when Mr. Richie sings the following- “… Oh, I’m leaving on that midnight train tomorrow… and I know just where I’m going…” The only thing that I would have asked for is that the tune be a bit longer. You know I am stuck on my bride. Love when Lionel sings “Yes, I’m on my way… mighty glad you stayed.”

22— “Take the Long Way Home” by Supertramp– Many times when we come upon a traffic jam there will be tactics taken that will eventually have you taking the long way home. “Breakfast in America” was part of my fabric when I was a teenager, so much so, that I could say that this album was the concrete that is poured into the foundation. I would lie for hours on the wood floor inside my bedroom and listen to this brilliant body of work. Always had to stand up to flip over to side two and this song would play in my ears. It does not get any better. Charles Hodgson’s voice is what I will remember when I think back to my formative years.

23— “Still” by Foo Fighters– The next time you are stuck in traffic or on a lengthy line, where we are all still, make sure you have this tune ready to go because it will become your “Zen moment.” This tune kicks off disc two of “In Your Honor,” which forever changed my life. Do not look up the story behind why Dave wrote this tune and instead focus on the absolute beauty as it will alleviate the angst of feeling trapped. There will be additional moments over the course of your life where you will be mystified about your surroundings but just remember that it will not last forever. Do your best to get through those tight spots; it will prolong life.